Paleo: The Caveman Diet

There goes all my dinner parties...
There is not one diet I haven't tried. There hasn't been one diet that has really worked for me, except for Weight Watcher's - but for me that was like a starvation project. I've always had issues with weight -- up and down and getting round -- so I decided to bite the bullet and do a no carb thing, perhaps even the Paleo diet, also known as "the caveman diet", suggested by my doctor friend who is guiding me right now, cringing at every mistake I make along the way. Paleo's focus (or in my opinion because I know I will get corrected on this which is fine) is on cutting all sugars out of your diet, including grains like wheat bread, pastas, starches and even beans. The list goes on about what you can't have, but there are some perks. I'm Italian so this is very difficult for me to eliminate pasta, however, I'm also allowed to eat all ~the evils~ that I was told not to eat by my family doctor. Foods include: BACON. Did I mention bacon? Steak (grass fed which I never knew was such a thing), shellfish, burgers without the bun (which I do anyway) and any meat, especially fatty ones. ...What?  No dairy is a must, which is another, 'eh' moment for me. You can read about it more here. It's very very picky about the types of food, where it's from, like if you get fish it should be wild and not farm raised and beef should be grass fed, etc. For me, the entire process of my shopping cart drama is at a stumbling block right now. I can totally do a low carb diet --- not a problem (eh kind of), but when you're telling me to go out and find these particular pieces of meat instead of just going to the local grocery store and grabbing a few t-bones, I'm gonna have to go on the "Paleo Light" diet.

Of course, Lola sits & begs for my bacon now.
While you can eat all the goodies that the doc warned you about, there is another road block I have come across. How many times can I be creative with making eggs for breakfast? Scrambled, over easy, omelette, hard boiled, etc., etc. --- I'm egged out. I feel like that guy on Forest Gump: "Shrimp scampi, shrimp on a stick, shrimp gumbo, shrimp salad, shrimp rolls, shrimp cocktail...." It also doesn't sit well with me when I'm noshing on my favorite vice- bacon and not feeling as though my arteries are tightening up. The Paleo folks claim that the good cholesterol will rise due to the lack of sugar in the diet. I still have so much to learn, but for some reason, each bite of bacon gives me thoughts of EKGs and angioplasties. So I took the challenge and I'm on day 4 right now. Oh, and I was also told to not exercise. What? ...Yes. Thank you, God. But I still do my half hour per day on my bike. It's only for the start because sometimes newbies can develop the "low carb flu". What? Oh it gets better. So, without the carbs for energy for the first couple of weeks, exercising may be a bit challenging. They advise you to get adjusted for the diet before vigorous exercise. The first couple of days I felt fine. Last night was a different story. I was up from 2am till 10am with umm, 'digestive issues' if you will. It was like a goddamn colon cleanse. I must have lost 20 lbs within 5 hours. Too much info? Go to a different blog. I had to pop an probiotic to settle my tummy.
Still with me?
I spoke to my Paleo expert and he warned me about the low carb flu and how my body would need adjusting to this new way of eating. I guess I'm having a hard time because it's not "natural" for me -- or what I was raised to eat...which is pasta and bread and more pasta, so you get my drift. I get to have my wine but no beer. I wasn't a huge huge fan of beer, so that's not a problem really. I just don't want this to be another diet that didn't work. I'm not sure if I'm losing weight or not, it's only been 4 days, but today is a bad day. My stomach feels queasy and my energy is really low. While I know with any type of dieting, there needs to be adjusting. I'm used to the "I'M SO HUNGRY I CAN EAT YOUR ARM OFF" diet. I know after time your stomach shrinks and gets used to the moderate portions, but while on Weight Watcher's -- I was one hungry and cranky bitch. But, it worked. I lost weight. But, (another but) I gained it all back + some because I failed to keep on this meager type of dieting. It's hard and it's especially harder for me since I really don't eat a whole lot. My bad habit is eating my biggest meal for dinner and of course, lack of exercise. I have phases: I either overdo it with exercise or nothing at all. There is never that happy medium with me. 

My main goal is to be healthy even when I'm in my 90's. I don't want diabetes or any other ailment to keep me from living life to its fullest. I don't want joint pain, heartburn, stomach issues, or heart related diseases. I don't mind being a bit overweight, but I do want to lose a few, but most of all, be healthy for longevity. Don't be surprised, but I don't want to be a super model. You expect too much from me. (heh) I just want to be able to keep up with my Chihuahua and chase her around the yard a few times a day. I think that's more of a realistic goal, don't you agree? 

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