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Showing posts from July, 2007

Demanding Our Own Way

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There are times when we all get physically drained from emotional turmoil. We focus in on the demons- anger, resentment, depression and anxiety. The first thing we normally do is to find flaws and inadequacies from the person or situation that offended us. It can’t be me …can it? The drama thickens into a deep obscurity- both parties questioning why the argument took place to begin with. What provoked it? Was it brewing somewhere unseen? Or was it there in broad daylight? Who’s right and who’s wrong? Does it even matter? You must make allowance for each other’s faults and forgive the person who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. ~Colossians 3:13 Take a look at two Christians who believe in the trinity, yet they believe that the “truths” they both hold dear to their hearts are so different from one another. “My truth is correct.” “No, if you look at my truth, you’ll see that it’s the right choice.” No one will come to an agreement. They both thi

I've Gone Ex-Gay...

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It’s true- I’ve become an ex-gay. It was easier than I thought. All I had to do was listen to what other Christians told me. I’ve begun the process of separating all my belongings that were meshed in with my partner’s. Since I’m not a lesbian anymore, this means I can’t continue living with my partner. She has to find a new home now. This means we’ll have to divide our funds and make sure whose money’s whose. We’ll also have to sort out some things along the way. It’ll be easier than we thought. It was such an impulsive thing- being with my partner for all these years. That’s what they said. They said I went on my “impulses” of my flesh. Hmm, maybe they’re right. Maybe I did go on my impulses when I chose to wait it out two years, before deciding if I wanted to be with this person for the rest of my life. That’s considered “impulsive”, isn’t it? The process of getting to know her and her family were so impulsive of me. It took me a couple of years to develop a close relationship

Biblical Contradictions

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A part of me feels a bit confused over the meaning of “truth” when it comes to the bible. I study the bible, yet I find contradictions within the scriptures of each passage and book. I solely rely on the bible, yet I have different interpretations of particular matters. For instance, in Romans 7:1, it states, “Now, dear brothers and sisters---you who are familiar with the law---don’t you know that the law applies only to a person who is still living?” Then, if you read on to verse 4, it states, “So this is the point: The law no longer holds you in its power, because you died to its power when you died with Christ on the cross.” Then you have this passage: “You and I are Jews by birth, not ‘sinners’ like the Gentiles. And yet we Jewish Christians know tha t we b ecome right with God, not by doing what the law commands, but by faith in Jesus Christ. So we have believed in Christ Jesus, that we might be accepted by God because of our faith in Christ-and not because we have obeyed the law.

The Proverbial Tree

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“It’s an obstruction of da' view,” my father says, as he stares at the large tree that’s been on his neighbor’s property for over 30 years now, “it’s getting bigga' and bigga' and I can’t see da' water anymore.” He’ll complain about this until something else distracts his attention from the tree. There’s nothing he can really do about it. It’s my neighbor’s tree, which provides privacy for them. It’s on their property, so it’s not as if my father could say, “take that tree down now!” All he can do is complain about it. What about the “tree” obstructing our view in life? There’s nothing we can do about it other than complain and make up excuses of why our “life” or “view” isn’t as nice as we want it to be. Are “trees” less beautiful than the water? We can sit around complaining, or we can choose to appreciate what we have in front of us now. I have a bunch of obstructions in my life. “Oh well, if I made more money, I could do this”, or “If I had this job, I can do t

Discrimination On Both Sides

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Is it any wonder that the gay community desires to be accepted so badly, yet they discriminate against heterosexuals? Is it because they were beaten down for years for being gay? Or is it another issue? In an article found on C.A.R.D 's websit, (Citizens Against Racism and Discrimination), it states: Provincetown, New England’s summer gay capital, is facing a rise in harassment and discrimination. But this time it’s straight people who say they are being ridiculed as “breeders” and “baby makers". Less than a decade after a successful campaign to end violent paroxysms of “gay bashing” in the beach town at the tip of Cape Cod in Massachusetts, police and town officials report a resurgence in tension between gays and straight people. Police Chief Ted Meyer said straight people complained of being called “breeders” over the July Fourth holiday weekend, and that in one serious incident a man was charged with assaulting a woman who signed a petition to ban same-sex marriage in Mas

100 Days of Sex

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Communication, understanding, acceptance, patience, listening and love are all part of what makes up a relationship. What if communication was missing? Would there be any understanding? Would there be acceptance of what’s being said and heard? Would there be any patience at all? Would anyone be listening if there weren’t any communication? What happens to the love—does it fade over time if these ingredients are missing? Even though I’d like to admit that love would be the foundation of any relationship, I believe it boils down to communication. If I’m frustrated about a particular thing in my life, and I don’t express it to my partner, it comes up to the surface and shows itself in a different way. She doesn’t understand where my behavior is coming from because I have not yet told her the reason why I’m in a bad mood, which results in her thinking that it’s “her” and not something else. Failure to communicate can lead to assumptions. Your other half isn’t a mind reader. Here’s ano

Waiter Rant

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It’s no secret that I’m a huge fan of Waiter Rant . His writing is excellent, as well as his stories about serving famished customers. I’ve always had questions regarding what it’s like to be a waiter or waitress. What do they think of certain customers? How do they feel when food is given back to the chef, because it wasn’t to their liking? Are they pretending to be nice, in hopes for a huge tip at the end of their guest’s meal? I’ve bartended in the past, which is kind of similar to waiting tables, yet, you’re behind a bar serving people who are very thirsty. Serving food was a part of my job as well. People would come and sit at the bar and have their lunch or dinner, along with their cocktails. A lot of people question the tip etiquette, when eating their meal at the bar. Do they tip the full 20%, even if they’re at the bar? Or do they leave the typical $1 for every drink they have? In my experience, I have received the typical dollar for every drink—even if their meal was included

We're Killing Ourselves!

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Typically, I’m the type of person who will read a label before consuming anything. I check for ingredients, caloric tables, as well as expiration dates. I’m constantly scared of getting sick off food. At the grocery store, they usually don't put anything down, such as labels or warnings on ground meat or steak. I just have to risk it. I’ve also been known to be a hypochondriac. I hear the sounds of ‘ca-chiNg’ as I walk into the doctor’s office. They know I’m there for something irrational, whether it be blood tests, allergy tests or just a physical …for the third time this year. I should be worrying about all the germs I may be contracting by sitting among all the sick people. I just don’t touch the magazines. This morning, I was planning to have a peaceful start. I got up, brushed my teeth, had some oatmeal and made my coffee. I started flipping through, The World’s Greatest Treasury of Health Secrets , by Bottom Line Books, who have numerous doctors being the author of each art

Continuing to Go On and On...

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While praying, I had opened up to Colossians 2:13-23. It helped me to understand what God truly wants for me. I was struggling with the condemnation of other people’s judgments. God continues to show me that I am perfect in His eyes, and so are the rest of you. “You were dead because of your sins and because your sinful nature was not yet cut away. Then God made you alive with Christ. He forgave all our sins. He canceled the record that contained the changes against us. He took it and destroyed it by nailing it to Christ’s cross. In this way, God disarmed the evil rulers and authorities. He shamed them publicly by his victory over them on the cross of Christ. So don’t let anyone condemn you for what you eat or drink, or for not celebrating certain holy days or new-moon ceremonies or Sabbaths. For these rules were only shadows of the real thing, Christ himself. Don’t let anyone condemn you by insisting on self-denial. And don’t let anyone say you must worship angels, even though they s

Raw

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“Here, gimme dat’, will ya?” Dad took the lobster out of my hand and started cutting through the midsection of its body. “Disiz’ howya’ do it,” he said, with an accomplished look, “You gotta cut right inda’ middle.” He was trying his best to show me how he cuts open a lobster, but I just wasn’t getting it. I didn’t want to get it, even though I wanted to help him. He used to come home everyday from the South Street Seaport in Manhattan with a crate of lobsters that were still alive. I remember poking at one, as it tried clawing me while being tied up with an orange rubber band. They’ve always reminded me of huge crickets- ugly with big antennas everywhere. Worse yet, my sister would always call them sea roaches. I never enjoyed eating them. I was afraid that one day, my father would be attacked by one of these giant sea roaches just by the way he killed them. It’s been said that lobsters love their family, just as humans do, and feel emotional pain. Being that dad worked at the fish

A Public Apology and a Public Restroom

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Isaiah 51:12-13 I, even I, am the one who comforts you. So why are you afraid of mere humans, who wither like the grass and disappear? Yet you have forgotten the Lord, your Creator, the one who put the stars in the sky and established the earth. Will you remain in constant dread of human oppression? Will you continue to fear the anger of your enemies from morning till night? This scripture from Isaiah jumped out at me this morning while praying. I feel stressed out and tired. I’ve been distant from God these past couple of weeks, when in fact, I should be drawing closer to Him since I am writing a new book. My focus is on other things instead. I’ve been defending myself way too much, and it’s coming up to the surface. I’m sure you’ve noticed. A lot of you are right. I have been spending way too much time on other people, trying to defend my happiness or {pride} of who I am. A reader of mine named Kevin , was very offended by my words on another website. I explained that the word “prid