Living Proof

To tell you the truth, I have yet to figure this one out. As New York's numbers in cases and mortality declines, the south is seeing a huge spike unfortunately. We've had a couple here and a couple there get tested positive, but less than seven people died in our state...sad, but better than thousands. As I continue to 'shelter-in-place,' along with the occasional trip here 'n there, perhaps to a park or the farm market, I'm seeing so many people having pool parties in large numbers, going out to bars and restaurants without wearing masks and having a great time. I'm also seeing thousands protesting in NYC. But we're "good"---right? No one is getting infected really. And if they are, it's super mild. Did New York conquer the bug? Has it weakened? Or, will it catch up to us eventually? Are we in the "February" where we saw a few cases and then BAM---March had us locked down-throw-away-the-key kinda quarantining. I'm so sick

Lately, I've been noticing how people are twisting this pandemic into something political. They're also using this pandemic to fight it out because some people have an axe to grind for whatever reason.  There are a whole lotta' "Karens" in our world, as we have to just take it in with a grain of salt. I've seen most fights and debates over social media, and some that were in a flower and garden shop that absolutely took me by surprise. Why are we fighting with one another? I remember when we all came together after the tragic day of 9-11, so why are we trying to kill one another? You have people who think they're an expert with the virus itself and apparently, they've all been to the labs and factories while workers made masks to protect others from getting ill...or, the question is, do they protect? Nobody really knows. That's why you get mixed messages. People who take the time and effort to publicly shame others for wearing a mask or not w

There's a lot to be said about be afraid--about having a constant fear gnawing at you day after day. Fear literally shrinks your mind...it also shrinks your entire world. I know it shrunk mine for a very long time, and it still manages to keep it there ever since this pandemic took center stage. People who normally didn't suffer with debilitating fear are now experiencing it for the first time ever. This world is full of illness, rage, injustice and grief. For a while, I sunk back into my small world---into that fearful corner of anxiety and hypochondria. I had to stop thinking that every little tickle in my throat was the corona virus and that each sniffle would bring me closer to a ventilator. Back in the day (like last year) I would've just blown it off, popped a Claritin and be done with it. Today, I question every sensation in my body, monitoring it like a prison guard. My heart would start racing, but there was nobody to really help me. I couldn't just go to a d

Sometimes things aren't what they appear to be. Most of the time, nobody knows a person well enough to understand exactly what's going on with them. For instance, when I talk about my struggle with anxiety disorder, I always get the same answer, especially from therapists: "But you don't strike me as someone who would have anxiety or panic attacks." They would mention my personality and how "happy" I seem to be. I'm genuinely a very happy person---I'd rather be happy, but when I get these panic attacks, it can leave me totally exasperated for a day or two. My personality becomes introverted---I almost want to say, silent. At that point, I'm living inside of my head. The only thing I can contribute these remarks, when people say I don't "look the part" is that I come from a very friendly, intelligent and extremely talkative family. I'm Italian, whaddya' gonna do? We're animated, funny, loving, caring, and we love t