Living Proof

Yesterday was interesting after I had posted my article about polyamorists wanting to add the "P" into the "LGBT". Of course I got the 'what about pansexuals' and that LGBT stands for all people if you put a plus sign after it. I had a slew of opposing comments that opened my eyes to another world that I honestly thought was more rare than it is. They even call it a "lifestyle" and develop families out of multiple lovers joining in one home. And yet, as much as it was explained to me, the more I sort of stood even stronger in my stance that this is something that is not apart of the LGBT community. I was called a "hypocrite" and a "bigot".  Funny thing is, I raised the same arguments that say a Christian fundamentalist would raise about me and my own lifestyle. But is it the same as being gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender? Doesn't this lifestyle take it to a whole new level? In the same breath, while it doesn't aff...

Have you ever been in a relationship where your partner cheated on you? And no matter how you found out, whether it be through word of mouth, shoddy paper trails (texts) or personal investigator, your heart is just shattered into pieces. You feel betrayed and for some people, 'less than desirable' due to a 'other options' found -not necessarily better mind you. The immediate response is, "I'll get them" -- but is it really worth it? Some people have valid reasons for cheating, and yes, I said valid. Maybe they're not being paid attention to at home. Maybe their partner is abusive. And maybe, the love has just gone out the door. There are cases where the person is just genetically geared to having more than one partner, but unfortunately, making promises to only one. And while that seems unfair, it's also a stigma to be polyamorous, which that person should be and be open about it. But, society deems it "inappropriate", and with that, mo...

Through having spoken to many bisexual women, I'm finding there's a fine line between the labels of "bisexuality" and "polyamory". Most of the LGBT...and I guess we're adding the "Q" for queer -- they frown upon bisexuals simply because it's like a slap in the face for the lesbians. Like, 'have your cake and eat it too' type of mindset. Are they confusing bisexuality with polyamory? We all want acceptance, whether gay, lesbian, transgender, but once bisexuals want the same acceptance, we seem to fling it out the window as this horrifying attempt to make excuses to cheat on your spouse. For instance, would you think it was cheating if a wife strayed on her husband with another woman? Depends, right? For me, I see no difference, unless of course it's a polyamorous lifestyle. What about women who are truly bisexual, yet monogamous with whoever they made a commitment with? It seems unfair that many people of the lesbian community ...

While having breakfast with Mad this morning, she said something very interesting commenting on a discussion we were having regarding a very combative friend of ours. “It’s not what they say - it’s what they don’t say.” I thought about it for a moment, since one of my friends typically says what’s on her mind, to where most of us would just remain quiet about it. It can lead into some heated debates and even some unnecessary arguments. I told Mad, “Well, I’m glad she says what she thinks and doesn’t hold it in, but at the same time, it can be surprising when she spews out her thoughts as well.” But then Mad went on to say even slower than before, “It’s not what they say - it’s. what. they. don’t. say.”   I finally “got it”. The basis of her words were set around motives; the reasoning behind the madness of someone being “too comfortable” telling you what’s on their mind at any given moment. I’d like to think that I’m pretty intuitive when it comes to people and their so called ...

There are so many miserable people out there criticizing other people’s lives for whatever reason. Maybe they don’t like the way they live: “They’re gay and that’s a sin”, “She works as a waitress and doesn’t apply herself, she can do so much more with her life”, or “Oh dear Lord, they have an open relationship - they can’t possibly be happy!”   What works for someone may not work for somebody else. And, that’s okay. Somebody recently asked me why I don’t work for IBM anymore or hold the conventional 9-5 job. For me, it’s not my bag anymore. It caused me great anxiety, and my quality of life was suffering. No amount of money could ever make me want to go back. I’m totally content and yet thrilled with freelance work, even though it may not pay on a steadily basis. When people are not happy with their own lives, they live vicariously through yours, picking and sorting out what should be “right” or “wrong” in their eyes, even suggesting what you “should” or "should not...