Living Proof

Generosity While growing up in my mid-teens or so, my sister and I would sit on the floor of her bedroom and play Rummy 500 for hours at a time. She always won, until one day when she told me her secret. We both knew the rules of the game, but there was a strategy to it. She said, “ Always give up your most important card and you will always win for some reason.”  It didn’t make sense to me - why would I want to give up my most important card if I wanted to win? But after losing a million & one times, I tried it. I started giving up my most valuable cards, and in return, I ended up receiving them back and then some. I then started winning. I guess that’s how it is in real life: when you give, you get back in return. And it’s not meant in a selfish way. To genuinely give in real life is rewarding in itself, but to see someone else happy and take joy in seeing that person happy, says a lot about who you are. And yes, it may be a “risk”, just like in Rummy 500 - but it’s a ri...

Sometimes people don't notice the little things that others do that make a huge difference in their lives, until they stop doing those "little things". Some people don't even notice the big things - almost bypassing them like a huge ship. I admit, I have taken many people in my life for granted and sometimes, I feel like some people take me for granted as well. It always works both ways. Appreciating everyone and their role in life is so important. Even something as simple as a phone call from a loved one can make all the difference. It doesn't matter how big or how small their 'monetary' jobs are --- their lot in life -- their ability to help others and make a difference is what matters the most. I remember the book, The Five People You Meet in Heaven  had a huge impact on me. It showed a man with a "small" job (in most of society's view) who played an enormous role in life. He had a purpose - a reason to be here with us -- because w...

In the fall of 2011, I remember setting up a flat screen TV in Mom & Dad's living room. They never had a TV in there before because Mom wanted that room to be the "conversation room" --- for parties and guests, etc. She didn't want some TV blaring away while people were trying to talk. As a kid, I was always confused over why we never had a TV in this gorgeous room, but Mom said no and that was that. As Dad and I were having a cocktail together in the living room, we had such an amazing conversation. He was on a good wave that week - no pain, no anxiety and very upbeat. For many, cancer just sucks the life-force right out of you, in all aspects. But that night was a good night. We sat there talking for hours and at some points during our conversation, we held hands. Dad was really never the type to show affection through hugs or by holding hands, almost ever, but he did show his love in many other ways by his actions. For the longest time, he was resentful over ...

The little things in life are sometimes the biggest things we should be grateful for.  And I am, (however), I seem to lack my gratitude when my pain kicks into high gear -- any type of pain whether it be physical or emotional. I'm only human. In my deepest agony, I fail to see the joys in life, like watching my puppy swim and play in her little pool to cool off, appreciating a phone call from an old friend, a gorgeous sunrise God gives to me every morning, watching thunderstorms rumble through the valley and long conversations over coffee with my wife. I've been focusing on the negatives, noticing what's not there instead, like a new updated oven (it's like the Shoemaker without any shoes if you ask me), a bathroom that needs to be redone entirely, unfinished projects that have stopped due to 'busyness' and of course, my inability to be proactive because of my chronic pain. There are mornings where I can't even wash dishes, cook breakfast for Mad or ...

Even Lola's tired of taking care of me. If there's one person I would never, ever live with, it would be...me. Well, maybe half of who I am, because I am a helluva' cook and I'm very nurturing, but the other half is one. pain. in. the. ass. Half the time, I'm up with insomnia or just in excruciating pain. As you know, I'm no stranger to doctors' offices, emergency rooms and hospitals. I'm one hot mess lately. Usually it requires some sort of assistance, like helping me out to the car to rush off to the ER or helping me even make it to the loo. Those are the extreme days. But, we married in health and in sickness. Somewhere right now, my wife is twitching. But I'm not so bad. I make Madelene laugh, I'm silly and immature as hell. I think that's what saves our relationship: laughter. Or maybe it's the dog. In any case, it's the little things in life that bring us joy. God, now I'm starting to sound like a Hallmark card. My point...

If there is one annoying thing that I've noticed about Thanksgiving, it's the fact that I see many people taking it for granted. I'm not talking about the holiday itself - I mean the entire concept of Thanksgiving - what we are thankful for and how grateful we are. It's become one big "annoyance" for many. Some people have to travel to two or more locations in order to do their 'holiday rounds,' while others dread the day because it's just too much work. And it is work...but work done with love. Whether you spend it with family and friends or even alone, it's a holiday where you can count your blessings. Also, you don't need to have a holiday in order to count your blessings, but it's just a nice reminder on a starred day on our calendars. It's a time to forgive and to throw away any bitterness or resentments toward anyone. No fighting. No quarrels. No family drama. (Although sometimes that inevitable.) It's a perfect time ...

Generosity While growing up in my mid-teens or so, my sister and I would sit on the floor of her bedroom and play Rummy 500 for hours at a time. She always won, until one day when she told me her secret. We both knew the rules of the game, but there was a strategy to it. She said, “ Always give up your most important card and you will always win for some reason.” It didn’t make sense to me - why would I want to give up my most important card if I wanted to win? But after losing a million & one times, I tried it. I started giving up my most valuable cards, and in return, I ended up receiving them back and then some. I then started winning. I guess that’s how it is in real life: when you give, you get back in return. And it’s not meant in a selfish way. To genuinely give in real life is rewarding in itself, but to see someone else happy and take joy in seeing that person happy, says a lot about who you are. And yes, it may be a “risk”, just like in Rummy 500 - but it’s a risk that ...

Biding my time before surgery, I have an appointment with the surgeon himself this Monday. I’m obsessively looking up the ejection fraction percentage for a gallbladders, which should be in the range of 35-75%, and mine is 30%, so it’s not that bad. I’ve been advised to try holistic approaches before venturing off to have the doctors pry me open. I then thought about acupuncture, so I sifted around online and found a few people, some who were just straight out of college trying out a new profession, mostly anglo and eager to make a buck out of poking people with needles. I want traditional Chinese people doing this---not some waitress/student/wannabe acupuncturist. Then I found the perfect one: an old Chinese guru right down the block. She asked what’s bothering me and I told her I had stomach issues and explained my concern about how itchy the doctors wanted to open me up and suck this gallbladder right out of my bellybutton. She was thrilled to hear I opted for the alternative. She’...

In many cases, gratitude is the most overlooked thing in the world. People are too busy, or they just forget how fortunate they really are. They can’t see beyond their “bad” circumstances or “bad luck” - they only see the glass half empty. I get like that sometimes, and when it starts knocking me down a few notches, I have to be reminded of what I do have, not what I don’t have. Just like focusing too much on the past or too much on the future, we forget the most important thing: the present. It’s human nature and once we give into that little whiney voice in our heads, “I want I want I want”, then maybe we can truly see what’s in front of us right now. Materialistic things won’t change who we are or get someone out of a depression. I find for myself, whenever I get into a depressive state or just not feeling ‘myself’, I do these breathing exercises that really help me. Usually, relaxation techniques like these help anxiety, but just picture depression as “anxiety without the energ...

Usually at around 7-8 pm in the evening, the same man across the street comes outside of his apartment to sit out on the stoop and smoke a cigarette. He’s probably in his late 30’s, receding blondish hairline, attractive face and slim build. I can see him sitting there, arms folded upon his bended knees, deep in thought. Sometimes I wonder if he just needs to get away from his wife and family or if he’s not allowed to smoke in his apartment. Other times, I think he’s most likely hiding the fact that he still smokes while promising the wife he had quit a long time ago. Whatever the reason may be: this is his time. Maybe this is his only time to just sit in peace and stare out into space thinking about what could have been or what should have been, or even, how very lucky he is right now. The last option is usually not the case. I find myself doing the same thing right outside my own deck.  I stare out into space, but my thoughts are full of gratitude.  I don’t have much, but what ...