Living Proof

It’s been a long time since I’ve shared one of my ‘scary’ doctor visits with you all. Being that I have OCD, among other anxiety-related manias, the mere thought of sitting at a doctor’s office is somewhat unnerving. Usually, it’s the issue of touching those magazines, which many sick people touch. Not only do they touch these magazines, but also, they feel the need to lick their finger upon opening each page. I look over, give a little curled up lip snarl, and look the other way. Never, will I touch one of these magazines ever! It’s not the issue with this doc that I visited yesterday. You see, I’m a foot person. No, I don’t have a foot fetish, but I’m very into keeping my feet nice and well kept. I love pedicures and wearing sandals in the spring and summer. I love putting pretty toe rings on, just as I would with my fingers. When my manis and pedis are done, I feel dressed up even if I were to wear pajamas out in the public. The doctor I visited yesterday is my podiatrist. Stop ga...

It was a beautiful spring evening when Madelene and I were driving down the road. She was upset, due to what the doctors had told Madelene about her mother’s health. The doctors stated that she has a mass on her pancreas. They need to do some testing. “It’s only what the doctors told her. God has already healed her.” I said, trying to reassure Madelene that God’s power is much stronger than the doctor’s diagnosis. Her mother has been through a lot, between back surgeries, having fibroid myalgia, to even losing her husband due to a stroke, back in 2003. Between the emotional distress and the excruciating physical pain she endured for some time, my heart went out to her. Can’t she just have a break? Can’t her life be peaceful for even just a week? I decided to pull into the parking lot of this magnificent Catholic Church, which I used to attend before I became a born again Christian. There was a section in the church, dedicated to those who just wanted to light a candle and kneel at a p...

As most of you probably already know, I love to pick people’s brains. I love to know what they’re thinking and what makes them tick. I especially pick the brains of people I already know- or think I know at least. The most fascinating thing to me is, people are so unique and so different from one another. They think differently, react differently and want and need different things in life. When we stereotype certain ‘men’, we think of a sport’s fanatic, beer drinking muscular (or not) kind of guy. He’s got a pack of wolves he calls ‘friends’ and basically howls at any Sue, Jen or Jane. Okay, that’s a bit extreme, but let’s focus on those types for a minute. There’s this one guy, who’s name I won’t mention, that constantly plants the idea of including himself in my girlfriend's and my relationship. He’s the bartender of a local pub in the area. Now, granted my girlfriend and I flirt and give each other googly eyes at the bar, but never anything risqué or inappropriate, but it’s ...

With tons of hobbies that people are able to do, the one I find we all have in common is the ability to write or to speak our minds. As for the people who blog as well as myself, we all want to be heard. Isn’t that the reason why we write in the first place? We want our beliefs, opinions and stories to be out there– we want to make a point. That’s why we think this way or that’s why we think that way. We agree with some and we disagree with others. Sometimes our beliefs come off as the ‘truth’ and we disregard the views of people who comment. Now here’s my opinion about bloggers. I have a few of them. Okay, okay- I have quite a few! 1. Bloggers are people who wish to be published writers. If you really think about it, whether or not they’ve published an article in a magazine or have published their own book- they're published regardless, due to them hitting the ‘publish’ button on the blogger option once completed with their post. So, we’re basically all published authors. We ha...

Even the conservatives are a bit upset over this matter. They’ve just discovered that there is biological proof that being gay at birth is possible. The conservatives are outraged because it would go against their beliefs that homosexuality is a choice and not a gene. The twist in this case is whether or not a pill to ‘correct’ or ‘counteract’ the gay gene should be given, so that the babies will be born heterosexual. In my opinion, if medical treatment were given to babies while they’re in the womb to change their orientation from homosexual to heterosexual, then they would be going against God’s wishes. God is the one who creates all of us. Do they really want to alter how God made them? Do they want to tell God that He’s wrong? The Rev. R. Albert Mohler Jr., a preeminent evangelical leader, supports the medical treatment to correct homosexuality of unborn children. So if it is in fact, a gene, then it isn’t a choice. He’s be tampering with God’s creation. Notice the way God does ...

When I first watched this, I was confused over the story. Did the people abuse these cats, or was it the other way around?

Too many of us assume why we are the way we are. We do this, because something tragic happened to us in the past. Does our past manifest our actions later on in life? Do we counteract whatever it was that hurt our hearts so deeply from the past? Do we rebel and keep resenting it over and over again? Or do we go along our paths as if nothing happened? If nothing ever happened to us, then we have nothing to counteract; we have nothing to rebel against. As I said in my previous post, I truly believe that I was born gay. I believe every person who’s gay was born like that due to genetics. Other people think it’s simply a ‘choice’. For some, as Miss 1999 pointed out, it may have been a choice for shock value, rebellion and for many other reasons. But the people who knew and grew up being gay have this stigma of being abused when they were younger, or being abused—period while being in a bad relationship. And yes, that happens a lot. I have a page on Myspace where I connect with old friends...

It’s there. Lurking behind the door, sneering at me through the cracks of the walls, echoing down the long corridors, calling my name, whispering the threat of something all too familiar. PMS: Bloating, ranting, crying, laughing, Lifetime watching, soup inhaling, salt absorbing, water retaining, tissue throwing, five pound weight gaining, fighting, whining, horny & always complaining, ten million more zits and clumsy like a bull in a china shop—I feel like a complete mess! Rocking back and forth like a mental patient in a psyche ward, I’m craving red meat and wine. I want the rest of the chocolates in the pantry. I want something salty- something marinated. My cravings are worst than a pregnant woman. My sexual drive is worst than a pregnant woman! Anything will suffice. Last night I made the oddest combo of food. I sautéed garlic, onions, mushrooms, fresh parsley and basil into olive oil with a splash of white wine and lemon. In the other pan, I fried up chicken liver in olive oi...

Is it true? The more we get, the more we want? Are we ever satisfied with where we are in life? Or is it a constant quest to find true happiness? What is true happiness? Some say it’s finding the perfect love – our ‘soul mate’. Others claim it’s finding stability in career and money and to be able to establish great wealth. There are people who believe that having great faith in God is true happiness. Many will say that finding love within family and friends is what makes life. But, what if you don’t have all of these at once? If the person who gains wealth doesn’t have their ‘soul mate’, will they ever be happy? And if a person finds they don’t have many friends or loved ones, will getting rich substitute for it all? Recently, I heard “a certain someone” say that their neighbor has a nicer house than they do. "This person" who said this has a gorgeous home. It’s filled with love, beautiful things they obtained over the years and quite a few luxury items. But, their neighbor ...

People can manipulate their ways of criticizing someone. It’s simple - it’s like false advertising. People fall for it all the time thinking that it’s sincere or that it's the truth. In reality, it’s basically a scam. With the right stream of words and steady consistency of warmth, as if they care, they will judge you according to what they think “their God” wants. (Even if you pray to the same God.) If you’re smart enough, you can basically brainwash a person into thinking the way you want them to. If the person is weak enough, they’ll fall for it. Where's Deb going with this? Okay, well take for instance a person who says to a gay man or lesbian, “Well, I will never judge you, but I will challenge you in love.” Is this the ‘safe way’ of criticizing someone? And I know that there are some Christians and/or other religions, that will challenge you in regards to what the religion teaches, however, it’s disrespecting one’s beliefs about a certain religion that they practice and ...

Today it feels like spring. I woke up to the sounds of rain tapping on my windowsill. I miss that sound. My bedroom was dark, the shades were pulled all the way down, and a dim light from the overcast sky sneaked its way in. I was tucked away under my goose down comforter thinking about similar mornings like these. Madelene would be sleeping soundly with her little satin eyeshades. I’d wake her up by tickling her nose with a light cloth or a tissue and she would think it was just an itch. She’d scratch it, wiggle her nose and then she would fall back into a deep slumber. I’d tickler her again, but this time, I’d tickle the soft part of her lips. She’d squish and rub her lips and then fall right back to sleep. I would relentlessly do this until she would wake up and laugh at me. I wanted to spend the morning with her, but at the same time, I wanted her to rest. It was a toss up. I guess the feelings of nostalgia hit me hard this morning. It was nice to hear Madelene’s voice over the ph...