Living Proof

Friendships shouldn't be so complicated. They shouldn't have the dynamics of an intimate relationship because friendship is purely platonic, well some. Have you ever found yourself in one of those "platonic friendships" that felt too much intensity - almost feeling as though you were smack dab in a full fledge relationship? You think to yourself, "Well, something's definitely not right here…" Thing is, there are females who develop these friendships that are nothing more than platonic, but due to their insecurities as a woman, they feel the need to somehow tear down the other friend, possibly making them feel bad about themselves with the excuse of, "Well, I'm only trying to help." Some people feel that their friends reflect them, so if a "suggestion" is thrown their way, it's to only better their own needs and desires to make that friend "perfect" - making them feel, "perfect" in some warped way or anoth...

In the past and not so far away, I use to be guilt stricken. I used to let it take over my entire life where I’d be doing everything and anything out of guilt. It could be so vaguely done that I didn’t even realize the reasoning behind it. I just thought it was something I had to do. I don’t care anymore. It sounds so selfish and cold, doesn’t it? “I don’t care anymore.” I say this in terms of doing things out of guilt, apologetic repetitiveness and the “assumed” right thing to do. But if I delve a bit deeper into the reasons why I do what I do, it might make a little more sense if I said, I did it out of selfish reasons; the total opposite reasoning of why I don’t care anymore. I’ve muttered the words “I’m sorry” too many times. I’ve constantly begged for forgiveness from others, when in fact a simple “I’m sorry” would have sufficed.  After that, it’s up to that person to forgive me or not. Begging for forgiveness means “you’re not worthy and not a good person if the forgiven...