Living Proof

Words are meaningless without action applied. People can conjure up sweet persuasions to make you do this or that, but if you’re strong in your faith you’ll conquer this technique. If not, you were confused to begin with. Everybody thinks they’re right. They’re fustian spew of literature they’ve read in the past or words they’ve heard from some ole wise man echoes in your mind as you try to figure out your own way. What about in relationships? “Well you did this and it made me angry!” “Well if you didn’t do that, I wouldn’t get so pissed!” “YOU” is the key word when you want to continually argue. “I” is a word that identifies how you feel. How can anyone argue with how you feel? “Well I felt hurt when you said this…” “I’m sorry, I felt hurt when you did that…” You can’t argue with someone who feels a certain way; the same with a person who believes a different religion or the ‘same’ religion based on other beliefs. The constant butting of heads will have you fleeing to the pharmacy

It’s been raining here for days. I woke up this morning hearing the sounds of a downpour as Madelene started getting ready for work. Storms always have this calming affect on me, unless I’m out driving in it of course. I feel fortunate that I don’t have to drive to an office anymore. My work is from home and I can enjoy the rain, rather than fear driving in it. Ever since I got wireless internet, I’ve been working out of my living room instead of my office just for a change of atmosphere. As I gazed outside overlooking the view of the lake and mountains, I heard the sounds of ‘night’. It was humid out and the rain had just dissipated for the time being. Loud mating calls from the frogs were echoing out of the woods, and the sound of chirping crickets were everywhere—almost in stereo. I poured myself a huge cup of coffee and sat for a moment. What if this all changed? Have you ever had that feeling that your life was about to change soon? I’m not saying I’m some psychic freak with ESP o

Being sick and immobile has its advantages and disadvantages. The nurturing and caring aspects of your partner/spouse could be a wonderful thing. Having a cricked neck and a girlfriend in the other room with the stomach virus can be frustrating. I occupied the living room while surfing the net and trying my hardest not to put on that TV. My girlfriend stayed in the bedroom as she nursed her virus and made numerous trips to the loo. We were both hurtin’ to say the least. I ended up surfing and making my rounds to various blogs. Some left a bad taste in my mouth; much like a floppy wet chicken that’s been sitting out on the counter for days. (Not that I have ever dined on such a thing before…) I know everybody’s views and opinions are so different and unique, but others are harsh and crass with no respect for the human life whatsoever. “Honey, can you make me soup?” Madelene screams out from the other room as I gasp at some of the vicious spews on someone’s blog. “Sure. Be right there.

In my previous post, I did correlate my neck pain with my mother, but I regret doing that. Today she just proved her nurturing and loving ways. She always proves her nurturing ways in a bit of an aggressive way, but I love her anyway. See, even when I was younger, she was okay with the concept of me dating other guys. They weren’t a threat to her. The thought of a woman taking ‘her’ place was the real threat. A woman would ‘take care’ of me; nurture me and be the other woman who could provide that sort of care. Instead of bringing home Mr. Right to meet my mother, I brought home Miss Possibly Right. She didn’t approve of any of them. Either she looked like a tramp or she must be a prostitute. In my eyes—the girls I brought home to meet mom were ‘good enough’ to bring home to meet mom. Get me? So the ones that I did hide from mom were a bit on the wild side. Since the day I moved out of the nest, mom babied me. I’d come home from school to a perfectly cleaned room. It was almost as if

It always happens when I least expect it. Some sort of weird ailment arises where I can’t do a damn thing. First it was the back pain which led to numerous visits to the chiropractor who did absolutely nothing but irritate me and show me how ‘excited’ he was to see me. Lying there on the table seeing his pants rise up while he 'cracked my back' disturbed me a little. That ended quickly. I decided to go that weird ole’ holistic route and see my Reiki massage therapist who fixed me up good. Yesterday morning I woke up with a stiff neck. I’m chucking it up to stress. I’ve been suffering from anxiety attacks and constant worrying over every single fricken thing. I’m prone to it because of my mother. She worries about everything. She’s a walking nerve. She put the fear of God in me when I was younger. “Don’t go outside up the road! There’s bears and wild dogs!” She said this so that I would stay close to the house. Fine. But now that I’m older, those words ring through my head le

Standing back observing some recent discussions going on regarding ‘what’s right’ and ‘what’s wrong’ has really surprised me. People seriously think they are capable of judging one another. As a Christian, the main theme on this earth while we are here is to love one another and to love God with all your heart. That’s the biggest commandment that God gave to us which is written clearly in the bible. I’m finding that most people are quoting Leviticus (which is the Old Testament) a lot. If you are a Christian, this no longer applies. The Jewish law still lives by this. The Old Testament is great to read discovering the history before Christ. Fine. But what does that say about the New Testament? Why did Jesus die for us? I recently found someone quoted this scripture located in the Old Testament: "Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination" (Leviticus 18:22). "If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an

Ew. It’s way too hot out for me to do anything productive or fun. I’m more of a fall & winter bunny. The hot weather doesn’t sit well with me, nor does it do anything for this hair of mine. I took control and got myself to the salon for a well needed haircut. Friends and family know that I rarely cut my hair unless it’s absolutely necessary. This was a five alarm frizz alert—plus my hair was getting caught in the back of my jeans it was so long. Not good—especially not being in my early twenties. It’s hard being twenty-five. Shuddap. Anyway, I went to a new salon to try out one of their ‘new girls’ fresh out of beauty school. Let me explain why I go to these rookies. First of all, they spend a good portion of the appointment trying to make everything perfect. There’s no margin for error. The ‘professional been there for ten or more years’ type of beautician is way too confident and usually thinks he/she knows what you want. They “ask” you what you want, and then they do anything

Last night was so beautiful. It wasn’t too hot and it wasn’t too cold. The sun was setting and the breeze felt great. Madelene and I opened a bottle of wine and cooked burgers on the grill. Now here’s the tricky part. If you want to enjoy your wine or beer—or whatever your poison is, you have to drink well before eating Mad’s famous ‘house burger’. As my friend Alyssa would call them, they’re a complete buzz kill. So now we have adopted that saying for Mad’s famous house burger---to the “Buzz Kill Burger”. This beast will completely sober you up. It all started when we started barbequing at our parties. My friend Tara would help out and we would prepare all the food and make sure the alcohol was sufficient enough to fulfill the needs of our alcoholic friends. We stopped at the grocery store and picked up a bunch of those hamburger patties as well as other meat products that would have my vegan friend cringing over. These hamburger patties were so embarrassingly meager that people wer

“Didja’ get da’ zippo yet Deb?” “The what?” “Yanno, the zippo that you were supposed to get.” Mom says, as she poured another cup of coffee. “Well didn’t the cable guy come?” “Oh! The high speed internet?” “Yeah yeah, whatever that thing you put on your blacktop is.” “Blacktop?... You mean ‘laptop’?” “Yeah, the thing you go on the intercom with.” Don’t get me wrong, I love my mother. She is just a doll for not knowing the exact names of our high tech gadgets or to some ‘not so high tech gadgets’. It was a nightmare when I introduced her to caller id. Mom didn’t know what to do with herself. “Well how do you know if someone is calling you?” “The phone will ring ma.” “Well how do you see who’s calling?” “Look at the screen ma, it’ll tell ya.” The answering machine was another evil that she had to tend with. I had to make the outgoing message for her because all you heard was, “Oh…this? Is this thing on? Which button do you push?” BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP! That’s all that people heard. So now

"Warning Against Judging Others" Don’t speak evil against each other, my dear brothers and sisters. If you criticize each other and condemn each other, then you are criticizing and condemning God’s law. But you are not a judge who can decide whether the law is right or wrong. Your job is to obey it. God alone, who made the law, can rightly judge among us. He alone as the power to save or to destroy. So what right do you have to condemn your neighbor? ~ James 4:11-12 The other day, I took some time to pray and meditate on what God wanted me to feel in my heart; to what He had to say about all the conflict and controversy that has been going on between my blog, Dani’s blog, Mike’s blog as well as many others who chose to engage in this discussion. I strongly feel the need to encourage those who feel guilty about “sin” to remember one thing. You are human. We all are human. We make mistakes or we live in a constant struggle to strive to be perfect. God knows this. In my belief

Today’s a big day for me. I’m venturing into the world of wireless internet. Oh, that’s right, make fun of me and tell me I’m living in the days of rotary telephones. Sure. I see how you all are. But today is a huge step for me. Rather than sit and wait ten minutes for a page to load and an hour for a picture to attach, I am going to finish work quite early—which means more time to play. The sad part about this story is that I used to work for an internet company who provided DSL. I stuck to the good ol’ dial up internet. Getting bumped off every fifteen minutes was enough to drive me batty. I’m neurotic as it is. So I sit here, waiting for the ‘cable guy’ to come. My mornings are precious. I rely on my huge cup of coffee and half a bagel with egg whites to start off my day. The company gave me a time frame of 8-12---as they usually do. I get a phone call, and the cable guy says, “Well that may not be my route.” He has to call me back to see if I’m his ‘territory’.

Here’s a story Of a JAP named CP Who was coming up to see Deb and Mad She was wearing tons of gold, like her mutha’ She even had real pearls Here’s a story, of poor poor “hotband” Who was driving CP into downtown They were driving in traffic, all together In hopes to have some fun Till the moment they stepped foot in Deb’s local bar They knew that it was much more than a brunch That CP - can no longer hold her liquor That’s the way they all became the New York drunks The New York drunks…the New York drunks… That’s the way they became the New York drunks…! Enough with this horrible version of "The Brady Bunch" song. CP and her husband was kind enough to take a ride over to my end of town and see what it's like in "Deb's world". I told them that everything on this blog and what I say holds true. 100% pure honesty dished out on this blog. We sat down at a table and I noticed CP ordering a white zifandel. Hmm. Amateur drink. We have to get her a real cockta

For as far as I can remember, I always knew I was different. I recall being attracted to the same sex since I was eight years old. I didn’t know why I was. I didn’t know ‘what’ it was---I just happen to find myself attracted to some of my closest friends and eventually came to the conclusion in my late teens that this is who I am. I realized I wanted to spend my life with a woman. I dated guys here and there, but I never got that full connection as I did when I was in the presence of a woman. I felt guilt for many years for feeling the way I did due to everyone around me being heterosexual. I was also raised in a Catholic household. Was I a freak? How come I was the only one that turned out this way? How could I have been influenced at such an early age? I was never sexually or physically abused when I was younger —despite what many psychiatrists will say. So why me? My entire chemistry would change if I was around someone I truly loved. My heart would race, my palms would sweat, and

I would first like to thank Dani for being a guest blogger and giving us her input on what she truly believes is right and wrong. We both are Christians who love God--however we have very different beliefs as far as what the bible says to be true, and what we believe in our hearts to be true. Our differences had once set us apart and manifested many arguments and debates and now we have established a friendship regardless of different mindsets. Although Dani believes I should repent and give up homosexuality, I believe that God loves me in spite of my sins and my relationship with someone of the same sex. We constantly are battling with the struggle of our physical nature vs. our spiritual side. They are always at war. This is why we are saved through Christ---to save us from our sins. If you visit this site , you will see how gay Christians live through Jesus and live according to the bible. In my beliefs, we are children of God. If our own parents are able to accept us, then why ca

It's been quite a vacation. Plans changed from a beautiful peaceful getaway in the Hamptons, to a wild and crazy week and a half in Provincetown, MA. We ventured out with a few friends to enjoy the good ol' Cape. To give you an idea of how the vacation was---Madelene left me for a much...umm... 'well rounded' and voluptuous woman. And to even think I had some dangerous curves! I can't compete with this one. I'll be back Monday (or sooner) once I take a vacation from my vacation. Sorry I've been neglecting my blog.