Living Proof

Back in the day when I used to frequent gay bars around the area, I rarely took note on who was straight, bi, gay or lesbian. All I knew was that it was a place that accepted gays and lesbians - it was a place that accepted me. Anyone else who wasn't gay or lesbian were more than welcome to come join us. It wasn't a big deal, unless the person was some sort of pervert harassing the clientele -- that's a different story. That can happen anywhere. When my wife and I go to places like Provincetown, 90% of all bars and restaurants are gay and lesbian clientele, who are also "straight friendly" --- meaning, they accept everyone. We don't judge you by your orientation, because we don't like it being done to us when we walk into a straight establishment. Makes sense, right? June Thomas, a writer and critic for an online magazine called, Slate , feels a bit differently. In fact, she feels that heterosexual people should not even walk into a gay establishment...

And so I'm back. I've been back for quite some time but just haven't been able to write much. Vacation was very relaxing and peaceful. Although some days were cold and windy, we managed to seek out some great restaurants on the sea and enjoy the views, as well as the fresh seafood. Every time I visit Provincetown, I think of my dad. He was a fisherman and spent years at his fish market over at the South Street Seaport. He taught me everything about seafood - how to filet it, shuck it, clean it, cook it - you name it. Each year I would come home with a sea-related trinket or souvenir of sorts. He loved it. This year was bittersweet, because we went to Provincetown to rest our minds and get ourselves in a different atmosphere. We wanted it to be a time to heal in a different location, and being by the ocean always sets my mood in a calm state of mind, but somehow it rattled my heartstrings a bit with all the strange reminders. While I was in a touristy t-shirt/novelty shop,...

It's that time of year again when we pack our shit-n-git. We're heading off to good ol' Provincetown, MA for the week. Although I will always be ~connected~, I will not be blogging my lengthy long-winded spiels.. .(do I hear a sigh of relief?) I will however, be posting entertaining stupid crap from my iPhone cam or posting photos of what's brewing and who's stewin' on Commercial Street. I will always be updating my Twitter and Facebook account if you want to join the fun. The reason why we go every October is because October 11th will be our 4th anniversary of being married. We got married at Bayside Betty's right on the beach. The weather couldn't have been anymore beautiful than it was and the reception dinner at the Bayside Betsy's couldn't have been anymore perfect. Our guests were amazing, so supporting and helpful during our chaotic runarounds and especially during the wedding. I can't be more thankful to have my close friends trav...

While sipping my coffee before work, I was scanning down my Facebook feed seeing what my friends were up. It was then I saw a note that was shared by my friend & comedienne, Mimi Gonzalez, written by a lady named, Ife Franklin. It was a heartfelt letter written to Bay Windows and being sent to the Governor of MA and the Boston Globe regarding men hitting on she and her wife in Provincetown, MA. As I continued to read it, it started to become much clearer that this woman was not just ranting about black men hitting on her, but she was ranting about the lack of care by "the white folks" who hire them and who have "the power to fire them". I'll just copy and paste her note first, and then my long comment afterwards. I apologize for such a long blog post, but I had to speak up. Feel free to leave your honest thoughts about this - even if you highly disagree with me. I understand she has a very unfortunate, traumatic past with rape and harassment, but this went...

If I have gained any perspective about homophobia, sadly enough I’d have to say I’ve learned an awful lot this past week in Provincetown, MA. This small town is one big gay mecca for those who want to be themselves without any judgments or ridicules of their sexuality by those who are ignorant or perhaps, homophobic. For the past decade or so, my wife and I have been visiting this town in confidence that if we decide to hold hands walking down the narrow streets filled with shops, cafes and art galleries, that we would not be mocked for being lesbians. We’re typically not the PDA types (public display of affection) and we don’t go around putting our relationship in other people’s faces, however it is a very liberating feeling to be in our element with people alike, and those who aren’t judgmental. To be “ourselves” in our own hometown would be like seeing a nun and some burly man kissing on the side of the road. (Of course you wouldn’t see that because nuns are usually lesbians anyway...

It’s days like these where I wish I was in Provincetown running into a nearby cafe from the rain for a hot cup of coffee just to watch it from inside. There’s something mystical about being on the Cape on stormy days. If you haven’t ever been to Provincetown, it’s a great big mecca for those who are creative thinkers, artists, photographers, musicians, gays, lesbians, straights, transgender people, and yes...for writers too. There’s nothing like sitting in a cafe with just a laptop, an espresso and inspiring thoughts that just flow right onto ‘paper’. The energy of Provincetown is extraordinary. Everyone, whether resident or tourist are incredibly happy just to be there. The vacations aren’t long enough, which is why my wife and I have been debating whether or not to vacation there on a permanent basis. Our type work enables us to be anywhere, so it’s a thought in progress. The winters are rough for some, since most rely on the business of tourists, but for us, it’s different. We’re no...

Last night I originally planned on taking Madelene out for sushi in the city. We were going to walk around, window shop and take in the vibrant energy of Manhattan. Since she had a customer that held her up, we were running very late, so I suggested a local place, perhaps even an entire different type of place. We went to this bar & grill called The Savory Grill , (more so an expensive upscale restaurant with a pub inside) and sat at the way end. It’s not your typical “pub” either. Mad had a sandwich, while I had a burger plus a few drinks to boot, and it costed us about $60 bucks- but this place is so worth it. We’ve known the owners and employees for years. This place is hopping on a Friday night with such an interesting array of people, ages ranging from late 20’s well into the late 90’s. That’s why I love this bar so much. It’s one of the few establishments that has been around this area for more than 20 yrs. Most places usually close down after five months or so becau...

It’s been a couple of days of taking a vacation from our vacation. Although we loved where we stayed, it was also nice to sleep in our own bed again. The one thing I’ve noticed is that during our stay in MA, everywhere we went, we had lots and lots of walking to do - which was great. We lost some weight on this trip, but still managed to indulge in seafood galore up to our gills. Now I’m just trying to keep up with the walking the best I can in order to maintain it. I have to admit, it’s hard when you don’t have street entertainers or a few drag queen and comedians to pass by, but I’m sure something amusing will cross my path, or...chase me like that goddam pug every once in a while in my neighborhood. Our filming project was better than expected. I managed to get a lot of footage. I haven’t even started the editing process as of yet because I’m still organizing each interview individually and placing them on CDs as a ‘to do list’ at a later date. Some of the interviews were very ...

Today I am taking a vacation from my vacation and spending some time at home just resting, but I wanted to throw a couple of videos to show you how much fun Provincetown, MA is. We had a great time, a wonderful anniversary celebration and such an incredible filming experience as far as the documentary. In fact, we have changed our entire theme of our documentary to cater to gay Christians, including a heartfelt interview with Rev. David L. Clarke, our minister who married us. We're so excited about this more than ever, because this will give a voice to those who have been struggling with their sexuality and trying to justify their religious beliefs to those who condemn them. I'll be traveling to different locations filming bits and pieces of this, but it'll be all worth it! It may take months, but I'm putting my entire heart and soul into this, because this is something as you all know, that I hold close to my heart. But for now, enjoy some of the fun clips I have...

It’s all flooding back into my mind as thoughts trickle back to this time last year. We were preparing for our big day, October 11th. I was so excited to marry my best friend, and at the same time, scared to death of the ceremony itself: “Will I pass out? Will I trip and fall walking in the sand up to the priest? Will my hair come out okay?” All of these anxiety provoking thoughts literally drove me insane. For the few months right before our wedding, I drank myself into oblivion. I didn’t want the ‘what if’ thoughts haunting me until my feet turned into complete icicles. I wanted my jitters to disappear and excitement of ‘oh it’s just a vacation’ type of feeling to take its place. At the home front, Madelene would not let me watch Bridezilla. She forbid it. I really didn’t know why since I wasn’t complaining about anything. ..yet. I watched it on my own and had seen what these people had to endure. Some of it was funny, and some of it was more anxiety provoking than I had ...

This morning when I woke up, I went to go make coffee and breakfast for Madelene, when something on the table stopped me in my tracks: two apples and one banana placed so perfectly together, that I seriously thought it was a joke on Madelene’s part. I chuckled and shuffled my tired self into the kitchen to prepare an egg white omelet for my sweetie. Even while I was cooking, I couldn’t get the image out of my head, which led into other thoughts that irritated me a bit. All the assumptions and stereotypes of “why” I “turned” gay from so many people in my life, as well as professional doctors. “It must be sort of a deep psychological reason for why you’re gay.”  I’ve heard this line so many times from so many different types of social workers, psychologists as well as psychiatrists; a select few mind you, nonetheless, I’ve heard it all too many times, and each with the same tone. I especially remember one psychologist who was a lesbian herself, that indicated that the reason why I w...

Please click on the photo above to view more photos of our wedding! Thank you for everyone who has congratulated us and was there on our special day.

Is it any wonder that the gay community desires to be accepted so badly, yet they discriminate against heterosexuals? Is it because they were beaten down for years for being gay? Or is it another issue? In an article found on C.A.R.D 's websit, (Citizens Against Racism and Discrimination), it states: Provincetown, New England’s summer gay capital, is facing a rise in harassment and discrimination. But this time it’s straight people who say they are being ridiculed as “breeders” and “baby makers". Less than a decade after a successful campaign to end violent paroxysms of “gay bashing” in the beach town at the tip of Cape Cod in Massachusetts, police and town officials report a resurgence in tension between gays and straight people. Police Chief Ted Meyer said straight people complained of being called “breeders” over the July Fourth holiday weekend, and that in one serious incident a man was charged with assaulting a woman who signed a petition to ban same-sex marriage in Mas...