Living Proof

This may or could be a part two of my previous post , but a bit more focused on our obsession with our smartphones. Even I have to sometimes catch myself and consciously turn my ringer off or tuck it away when I'm in the company of other people, especially in a restaurant. But it goes beyond just being rude in general. We're so focused on capturing that perfect rainbow or that amazing view of the mountainside or that incredible sunset right before nightfall, that our minds forget the actual moment. We cannot enjoy that moment, because we're too busy trying to capture it all onto our smartphones and then loading it up onto social media. I did an experiment and refrained from grabbing my iPhone because I saw a huge owl sitting peacefully up on a phone wire, on the road next to us. I could have gotten a great shot of it. It's my favorite bird in the world. Instead, I watched him jerk is head around and I looked at all of his beautiful colors, until he opened up his magni

When I was around 18 years old, I wrote a book. It was a fictional love story about two women who were just coming out of the closet. It was also in one of those black and white composition notebooks - handwritten. Can you even remember the last time you wrote something at great length with a pen and paper? It's kind of sad today and I know I'm totally guilty of it too, but we are all microblogging and shortening great stories into 140 characters or less.  We're posting our deepest thoughts and adventures onto Facebook with only photos and a few words. We're downloading ebooks and not holding a printed out paperback or hardcover book and reading it from front to back, getting lost in every single word. There's a movie for every book and it's quite rare to hear, "the book was better" these days because nobody reads anymore. And if they do, it's the electronic version - which is fine. But hold up… Technology has advanced, so to keep up, we a

So here's the deal. Uncle Tony (my mama's sister's husband) who is 80 sumptin' years of age, asks my mother for my phone number. She gives it to him, knowing that I may get 1,2.3, or perhaps, 453 calls in one day. Soon enough, I get a call and I see the name on it. I couldn't answer it because I was on a Skype conference call at the time. I thought, well he'll leave a message or something. But no. He kept calling and calling again and again. On the 5th try, he finally did leave a message for me. When I called him back, he wanted to know what kind of computer I gave my mom. "It's a Macbook, Uncle Tony. You have to go to the Apple Store or Best Buy to purchase it." "I only want it so dat' your aunt can call ya' mutha up - so they can see one anutha' on dat' ding dare'." "You mean, Skype?" "I don't know. Can't they see each other on video and talk at the same time?" "Yes, but she d

We learn from our environment, but we can also change it. Every time I hear someone use a slang word for a particular race, religious person or someone from the LGBT community, I cringe - even if I find out later on that the word isn't so much a bad word. For instance, about 15 years ago, I remember my wife brought home a friend of hers for dinner. Now my wife and her friend are both Puerto Rican and share very similar things, like food, culture, family, etc. They're used to certain words being thrown around that I'm not familiar with, and of course some in Spanish. Now I admit, I can be sensitive to certain things. With that being said, while making dinner, her friend looked over at what I was cooking and said, "It must be a gringa thing." I shuffled into the office and typed into Google "gringa" and saw a slew of people commenting on how "gringa" was a derogatory term for a white person. I also saw some comments arguing, saying that it wa

I received an email the other day from a reader who wanted to know my views on if I was pro-choice or  pro-life. I never wanted to dabble into this controversial debate, because I know people who have had abortions and also know people who have protested against it. And it's not that I'm afraid to speak my mind, but I have mixed feelings on it. I believe God gave us "choice" - and below, I have written my own personal stories to make you see why I am mostly pro-life. I don't judge anyone who is pro-choice or who has had an abortion, but it does make me sad sometimes, and for good reason. This is the very first time I am coming out with my story, our story… A few months ago while leaving my doctor's office, I saw a bunch of people holding picket signs protesting in front of a Planned Parenthood clinic. Usually, religious zealots come out of their faces with this sort of topic and start bible thumping those who have had abortions. It's their version of

A few weeks ago, we were sitting at the bar having a late lunch watching the soccer game. It was a beautiful day out so the bar was pretty much empty, except for this one guy sitting with his girlfriend or wife (or whoever) across the way drinking pints of draft beer. Although they were in their late forties or early fifties, they looked like a new couple - you could just tell. They saw Madelene and I watching the game as well and we all started talking about it. As soon as the woman left to go use the restroom, he had stated that she was not his wife and that his wife was home. This was a girl he had met online and has been dating her for several months. Whatever. I didn't need to know all the details, but he felt the need to get it all out on the table. I felt that instant 'creep' vibe. I focused more on my wife after his awkward confession. Anyway, they both asked if we could take a photo of them with their phones. Sure, why not, right? Then I see them tinkering arou

The other day, a dear friend of mine named, Marlo Bernier had posted something very interesting on her Facebook page. It was an article called, " Transgender People Are Not Responsible for Educating You ," written by Parker Marie Molloy.  I have to say I loved reading this piece. It was well written and she made some great points. However, part of me has another opinion on it since society is either too lazy or too prejudice to get informed on certain issues. Part of it goes onto say, "Writers, activists, and professional educators like myself have chosen to use our time to instruct individuals on these matters; but it really, truly needs to be stressed that it is not any individual trans person's responsibility to educate others. For most, being transgender is only one facet of their existence. They can be teachers, lawyers, doctors, or accountants, and they should not feel obligated to take on the role of educator in addition to these already time-consuming care

There is a lot of truth to that saying, "Whatever you resist persists." I've heard it before, but sort of dismissed it as one of those nonsensical inspirational kinda' quotes that you usually find on social media. But think about it: whatever you resist will persist, so when you stop resisting, it will stop - it will discontinue . I remember telling my therapist about all the panic attacks I was experiencing. She said, "Acknowledge it and accept it. It's like the riptide: the more you fight it, the more it will attack you." So basically, what she meant was: what you embrace is what will dissolve. Think about it - if someone taunts you and tries to get your goat, what happens if you ignore them? What happens when they get no response from you? They stop. But what if that person gets an angry response? It continues. And that was my entire problem - even recently. I mean, I would react to things that I didn't want to happen. So, it would go on and on

We all have our limits with anything. Every one of us stresses over particular things in life because we all hold different lifestyles. Some have kids, some have demanding jobs, some have troublesome relationships and marriages and others just have anxiety disorder stemmed from PTSD or going through a rough patch from something in the past. We all look fine on the outside, but on the inside, some of us are dying. I remember watching this woman at work who was directing a seminar on "better customer service". I couldn't believe how chipper and outgoing she was. She was zipping from one side of the room to the other, full of excitement and positive energy. You never saw this woman without a smile. It was like - wow - can someone be this happy all the time? I sat there and envisioned her having some sort of mental breakdown. Her happiness was so extreme that I entertained myself with these scary images of her curling up into a ball screaming and crying in some corner of th