Living Proof

The best thing when I'm in a really great friendship is, there are no judgments, (unless they're hurting themselves, then perhaps an intervention), but aside from that, I've never been one to say anything about how someone else lives. What they do is their business. For me, friendship is about sharing yourself and being open and honest about who you are. No aires, no complications - just total acceptance of the person you are. Just like in relationships, nobody's perfect. We all have our 'thang' so to speak, and if that 'thang' isn't to be tolerated, then simply walk away. Simple. But why are some people so intolerant to other people's lifestyles? Years ago I had a friend absolutely appalled over the fact that I was married. ..to a woman. It baffled her mind that I could even commit such a "sin" and in her eyes, I was living a destructive lifestyle. I could have easily turned around and told her how destructive I think drinking an en

This is not the last time you're going to go through something difficult. "How did you know I was going through something?" You're alive. That's how. The unavoidable mystery boardwalk. No matter what - you have to walk it. You have to go through the entire length of the boardwalk to get to the other side. Then there's always the easy way out, over there on the side where the never ending ocean sucks you into its riptide just because you couldn't handle life anymore. But is it the easy way out? No one will ever know for sure. Each shop and concession stand is a distraction - a good distraction. You stop in one shop, come out and head off onto the boardwalk again. But at least you took a break. Even with life, everyone needs a break. People often feel guilty while having a pleasant distraction while going through a turbulent time in their life. "It's just not appropriate."  And remember, the boardwalk cannot survive without all of its "d

When will it stop? Another case where a Brooklyn 8th grader, Kardin Ulysse was bullied to the point of potentially being blind in one eye if it cannot be corrected. The kids were harassing him, calling him antigay slurs and attacking him physically. On Good Day New York, Kardin stated, "They were calling me such horrible words, like being gay." Instantly I thought, wow, progression hasn't really taken place as far as acceptance for the LGBT community. More so, being called "gay" is seen as horrible, as Kardin described it. Nobody should be harassed for who they are or who they aren't -- my point is, these kids have the mindset that "being gay" is a terrible thing. Even Kardin said it was a terrible name to call him. Even if he's not gay, regardless, the word itself or description is certainly not of a negative one, unless used in a derogatory manner. I'm hoping by him describing gay as "horrible", was meant by derogatoriness.   

Through my own experience having dealt with atheists who have challenged my faith, I find them to be constantly searching for answers, or proving that religion, or perhaps, spirituality is just nonsense. But they want concrete proof; scientific proof. And just because I can say I've had a spiritual experience and saw God Himself -- they can chuck it up to extreme euphoria that the mind can produce -- who knows. But if a person is truly atheist, then why ask so many questions? It reminds me of the girl who was in the closet about her sexuality of being a lesbian asking me a million questions about what it's like to be gay. To me, it's the same concept. The curiosity of it all springs up new assumptions about atheists. I can be totally off on this, but this is how I see it. One atheist told me something I'll never forget. He said, "Atheists don't do 'good deeds' just to please some 'god' - they do it from their hearts."  Meaning there is no

As I sit to write this post, I just had walk over and close the window because there's a log still smoldering out on the back patio from the fire pit we had last night. It's strange how something can burn for so long and yet the people who enjoyed the fire are long gone, at work and moving on with their day. Isn't that how it is with certain types of relationships, or better yet, breakups? There's always one person still 'burning' for their ex, sometimes it's mutual, most times it's not. And like the people who  enjoyed the fire pit, they have no clue that the log is still burning, trying to hide its embers, but if you're close enough to it, you can still see it smoking, waiting to be rekindled. The entire process is really sad, especially if the other person lets the fire go out because theirs did long ago. There's no point. Start a new flame. There are rare cases where the need to rekindle is inevitable, but for those who are still pining for

While speaking to a friend last night, she had asked about my views on religion and asking what my book was about. I started the book in 2003. The manuscript sat there, waiting for something, a bite, anything. I thought it would be just another unfinished project, however I finally published it. You're talking about almost a decade ago, so you can imagine that some of my ways of thinking have changed slightly -- "slightly". Back when I was writing it, my views were very extreme and perhaps a bit rigid for some, while others tell me it wasn't. It's a mixed review. I started a blog after writing it and my views were quite hefty to some, leaving it open to heated debates that caused nothing but frustration and anger. I had other Christians bashing me for being a lesbian, while other Christians weren't accepting of some of my views -- which should have been "okay", yet we all decided to see whose sins were "okay" and whose sins were damned to

There's not much you can do to help someone who has a hidden resentment toward you for whatever reason. Even if you're experiencing the same, or perhaps similar turmoils in life, "your" experience seems less important for some reason. Or at least, that's how I feel. If you don't show your feelings, then you're insensitive. If you reveal too much emotion, then you're insensitive for not holding it in. If you have a little peace within the chaotic wave of happenings, or dare smile, laugh or experience a little joy, then you're insensitive. So, I show nothing. I hide. I try to stay out of everyone's way so they can deal with what they have to. I try not to say anything that'll upset anyone or stir up emotion - I stay neutral. Of course, if you're not around at all, then again, you're. just. too. insensitive.  When I'm pushed away, I stay. When I offer to help or do something that'll make someone else's life a little easie

Sometimes it's hard to just keep it together and not run outside screaming bloody murder just to get it all out. It's expected, and yet 'uncivilized'. So, we keep it under wraps. Have you ever felt like if one tiny change disrupts your life, it's the be-all end-all? When all of it finally passes, maybe weeks, months and even years later, the inner chaos withers away miraculously. I heard a phrase used by Joyce Meyer. She said, "I may not be where I want to be, but thank God I'm not where I used to be." And if you truly meditate on that one phrase, it kind of hits you like, "Wow, I made it through all that," whereas before, you thought you'd never. And of course the old saying, "If God takes you to it, He'll get you through it." I do believe that. It's easier to believe something like that before a stressful event and months after it. Strange how life works. It's hard to stay calm in the midst of chaos - to have inn

Mike Bloomberg is trying to control the obesity rate. Good luck with that. But how can you pick & choose the "sin" of other people's guilty pleasures?  Ok, so he takes away the oversized 62 oz. of sodas and yet leaves KFC in the clear, the chain, Friday's untouched (which one plate is approximately 2,000 calories) and oddly enough, today is "National Donut Day".  Smoking is still legal, but not in most public places, oversized 40 oz. bottle of beer can still be sold in your local bodega and of course, you have BJ's and Sam's Club to go bat shit crazy and buy everything in bulk. Although I can't see anyone actually finishing a 62 oz. big gulp of soda, the same people probably can't see me finish a 40 oz. worth of Heineken. Which is worse? Alcohol is legal, but marijuana isn't? So many priorities are far way up the wazoos of many political idiots. Whatever the political agenda is on Mike Bloomberg's part, it's not going to sto