Living Proof

Some people believe that forgiveness is just a verbal confirmation of "we're okay"---"we're good," until later down the road, the offense has been brought up again by the person who was hurt. Most likely, the person who holds all the resentment and bitterness will usually regurgitate the offense over and over throughout the relationship. They truly believe they have forgiven that person, yet they keep reminding them about what they've done in the past. That's not forgiveness. Remember the saying, "forgive and forget?" The forgetting part is hard, I know---but the concept of "forgetting" is about never bringing up the one thing that hurt you to the person who begged for forgiveness. See, when we bring up the offense, that's bitterness coming out. Imagine eating something bitter. That's the face you'll make when you bring up a past offense. Think about it. Truth is, you'll probably never forget that 'offens...

Sometimes I feel like the word "forgiveness" is overused, or perhaps misplaced at times. For instance, forgiveness not only means pardoning an offense, but it also means to pardon certain behaviors or personality types. To be completely honest, I find myself having a hard time connecting with certain people---which doesn't mean it's all their fault. I place blame on my view of them, their behavior or maybe a clash in opinions and beliefs. It all depends. In the past, I have had a couple of friends who were just bluntly honest to a flaw. I remember this one time, we were all having dinner at a local restaurant and bar. We were talking about our passions in life, mine being art, writing and music, and the other people were very passionate about exercising and going to the gym. They were in super tiptop shape! I admired their dedication to their health. For me, I've never really cared if I was 'thick' or overweight. I mean, granted I'd like to lose wei...

There's a fine love between love and hate. Love can quickly turn into hate, as well as hate turning into love. Are they one in the same, or do you truly think someone can "hate" on someone without some sort of feeling of sadness, (loss of the friendship or relationship) or a deep admiration for them? And what I mean is this: when somebody falls indifferent towards you, doesn't that imply a lack of interest? Which is worse? A deep seated hatred for someone ( why ) or a true lack of interest -- an uncaring feeling toward someone else? Hatred implies that there are underlining feelings -- or unresolved issues brewing. About ten years ago, I had a falling out with a friend of mine. We were working on the same project together, so it was more work-related. She was talented, intelligent, funny and very compassionate. We disagreed on something so strongly, that one day it just tore our friendship apart. And although I had less respect for her stance in something th...

What does it mean to be a "real Christian?" Does it mean obeying all scriptural laws? Does it mean being perfect, like Jesus was? Does it mean you can't make any mistakes? If that's the case, then being a "real Christian" means that you have to be Jesus -- period. Nobody can fill His shoes. We all fall short, and it says so in the Bible. We are flawed through and through, which is why we should be dependent on Him. The word "independent" should be flung into the waste basket. To be DEPENDENT on Him means that we trust in God enough to be reassured that He will guide us. And of course, it's up to us to keep constant communication with Him, even when we fall short, again and again and again. Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not just seven times, but seventy-seven times! --Matthew 18:22 Many people feel like their l...

How sad is this message above?  It's not the first time I have seen the above message or something similar posted onto someone's social media account. I remember being this person. I remember the fear of trusting again, or at least, being vulnerable enough to let someone back into my life. And like it says, "behind every fake smile is a backstabber" -- that alone, when you truly believe that with every person you come across, you automatically limit your life experiences. I love that old saying, "Bitterness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die." Holding resentment blocks every energy channel you have. It prevents you from living a fulfilling life. I'm not just saying this to 'seem wise' or to pretend I'm some sort of spiritual guru because I'm not -- I can only speak from experience. I once shut the doors, the windows, the blinds on every. single. person. in. my. life. for a very long time. I went through terr...

"Why are they wearing HAZMAT suits?!?!" Lately, it has been quite the plethora of ailments that either led me into the doctor's office or the emergency room. Sometimes, I have a quiet spell of good luck. Well, that was hardly the case this month. I now just make jokes of it all, but it does get crazy from time to time. My list of ailments this month include: nightly myoclonic jolts, a gigantic boil behind my ear that infected my entire system giving me a high fever of 102, hot grease that was splattered into my left eye and last but not least, heartburn so bad, that it tore up my entire esophagus making it impossible to swallow. I started to vomit half dollar size globs of blood. The pain was so excruciating that there wasn't any way I could possibly sleep. The fact that I couldn't even sip water without it coming back up was a cause for alarm. The round-the-clock NSAIDs I use for my menstraul cramps (Advil) was the main culprit on top of stress. ( Read this a...

Jesus agrees. Any time I speak about forgiveness, I seem to hit a chord with many people. We either need forgiveness, or we really need to forgive others in our lives. Do people hurt us intentionally? Maybe they do because they were hurt first, or they were jealous over something you weren't aware of. But do you think all people offend others maliciously? I always find a madness under the offense, especially when it's of my own offense toward somebody else. My friend Mark said something so beautifully in the comment section the other day in my previous post. He said, "When you forgive me for harming you, you decide not to retaliate, to seek no revenge. You don’t have to like me. You simply unburden yourself of the weight of resentment and cut the cycle of retribution that would otherwise keep us ensnarled in an ugly samsaric wrestling match. This is a gift you can give us both, totally on your own, without my having to know or understand what you’ve done." --Te...

Just get rid of it! Sometimes I wonder how my dad did it. He would hold a grudge for a very long time for a very old offense. I never quite understood it, as I sat there watching his jaw clench , then release, clench , and then release. Any time he would do this, we knew he was deep in thought about something he didn't want to talk about. 'Just get rid of it' or "them" would solve the problem. (Little joke there.) When his thoughts would slow down, he would chime into our 'already in session' conversation and blurt out something strange. "Wha? Ginger Rogers? Why you tawkin' bout' her?"  "WHAT?" We'd all scream out laughing over his selective hearing.  There are things that must be 'worked out' and there are some things that need to be let go of completely. For instance, unresolved issues that are still on the brain and heart should be worked out, talked about and even shared with a trusted friend ...