Living Proof

I think I’m back. I hope I’m back. It’s nice to be back and not in a doctor’s office of some kind, waiting and waiting and waiting to hear about their “educated guesses” of what might be what they call, a "diagnosis".    Here’s the thing: my story is so frig’d up that the doctor’s only have what I tell them, as well as the evidence left on my body. My poor family and friends have been over-tweeted and over status messaged over on Facebook, that they are a bit baffled themselves. On Monday, I was walking out of my apartment down the stairs carrying a cornucopia of things: laptop, purse, a bag of fruit, water, and a video camera. When I got to the last flight of stairs, my left foot slid out from under me and I fell down 9 steps...on my ass. ~Ca-chunga chunga chunga chunga chunga chunga chunga chunga chunga BOOM! ~ I had hit my tailbone each time, bouncing off each step like an old rag doll. I felt the pain all the way up into my head. Thankfully, all of my equipment

Lately, there have been a few animalistic occurrences that have been popping up on me and I don’t know why. Although if you follow me on Twitter and Facebook, you already know all the details. Someone even challenged me if this was really true. I was surprised myself to say: “Yes, cross my heart - this is truth!” I’ll begin with the first funny incident. Picture it, New York - 2009 (ah the great Sophia Petrillo)... It was last Thursday morning and I had gotten ready to head out for one of my power walks around the neighborhood. This community is pretty tight with rules and regulations: dogs, cats, mice and guinea pigs all need to be on a leash. You get my drift. I’m usually never afraid to come across an angry dog around here. If I do, it’s usually attached to its owner. No biggie. Let em’ snarl and growl at me, the owner will keep it from attacking me (I hope). My walk was intense and powerful - I had a little momentum going. The air felt refreshing and I passed by my elde

“Does it hurt?” These words resinated with me all throughout my life. These words were spoken by someone I respected, cared for and still love dearly. These words, spoken by a former teacher of mine. She didn’t say it to be mean, she said it because she must have felt my pain. She touched my face gently and looked at me with tears in her eyes. Why did she care about me so much? What made this woman, who taught me most of my academics, love me like her own daughter? I took an entire month off from school when my parents got into trouble . Within that month, I developed severe acne that went from the very tip of my forehead all the way down to my neck. They were clustered up so closely, that it looked like someone had placed me in a huge pot and boiled me. You couldn’t tell where one pimple began and where another had ended. I looked down at the floor mostly. I went to many dermatologists, only to have tons of medications and needles stuck into my face, fail. ..fail terribly. I

I know different parents teach their children different tactics about dealing with life, but sometimes certain issues don’t come up for whatever reason - maybe a parent has a fear that if they do teach about this one thing, then their child will somehow develop it or suffer through it - like bad karma of some sort. When I was younger, I was taught to be polite: say “please” and “thank you” to people who I would come across. I was taught how to sit properly, help with homework and of course, don’t let the boys touch you. Boy did that advice go a long way. All these things my parents have taught me are wonderful, but sometimes you have to ask yourself: what about life? What about the other things like anxiety, depression, bad breakups and divorces or nervous breakdowns? What about life’s struggles that we sit here now, as adults wondering, “why me”? If you were lucky enough to have been taught all of this, then hats off to your parents or guardians. They certainly don’t teach thes

It’s 4am and I’m wide awake. I couldn’t sleep, whether it was too much garlic in the dish I had made the night before or because I simply had too much on my mind. Somehow, watching South Park’s little characters walking sideways has amused me to the point of forgetting my troubles temporarily. Vince from ShamWow almost convinced me that I’m gonna love his nuts but, surprisingly, many things happen at this time that I’ve never noticed before. Birds chirp the loudest during this time - one even hit my sliding glass door not too long ago. There are people up working at this time, continually backing up trucks for some God known reason: “BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!” I wonder how I slept through all of this before. I hear people getting into their cars to drive off to work and other people just coming home from a night out of partying. I can’t believe how lively it is. There are people having a conversation below my apartment, so I decided to take my laptop out on the deck and write from

Have you ever come across people who are so extremely toxic in your life, yet somehow there is something that keeps you drawn to them?   The bulk of the relationship may be full of drama and chaos, yet there is something that you’re not quite sure of that makes you keep in contact with them.  Or what about those types of people where you have to watch every word you say, because to them, their relationship with you is totally conditional and full of “terms and services”? Are you nodding your head in agreement? For whatever reason you stay in this friendship or relationship, it never seems to change. They say they’re sorry and that it was a misunderstanding, until the next chaotic event which literally drains the life out of you. “I forgive you.” It means nothing to them. Well, maybe it does - it may mean, “Ok, you’re back in my life and you can start wreaking havoc all over again because I like you that much.” To us, we’re asking, “Please stop the bullshit?” You can even l

What happens to a person who dies and then becomes more treasured after his or her death, where we simply forget about all the things we disliked about them? What about an artist who hasn’t made one penny off of his or her paintings or sculptures, but then dies to be known as one of the most known artists of all time? Do we have to die to get noticed? Do we have to be pushing up daisies in order for someone to treasure what we do for a living or hobby? It kind of makes you think. Have you ever noticed when someone passes away, the people in their life or even remotely associated to them will amplify their friendship or bond with the deceased? It’s crazy. Why tell everybody they were your best friend now? Why not while he or she was alive? Although we respect the deceased and pray that they rest in peace, we don’t have to prove our respect by lying about how close we were or how magnificent they were, just because they are no longer with us. What about now? Think about someone

It’s amazing how time flies up into a whirlwind of ‘remember whens’. There are so many ‘it feels like yesterday’ moments and times you’ve had where you’ve completely forgotten it, leaving you with thoughts and memories that haven’t been tapped into for some time. It’s odd to trek into the archive files of your mind to discover things that seem new when they are actually deep within the past. This morning at around 6am, Madelene and I were snuggling in our bed listening to the rainstorm, wishing it was Sunday morning. We started reminiscing... Mornings like these remind us of waking up in Montauk, listening to the waves crash besides the beach house. The entire ground rumbled as each wave made its way onto shore. It was like the ocean’s heartbeat. I remember the first time I had brought my parents over to the house for a vacation. They hadn’t been on a vacation for over 15 years. It was time. To see the look on my father’s face when we arrived to the house was one of the b