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Showing posts from 2011

Our 2011 Journey, With Open Arms for 2012

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Here we go! Although there is so much to be grateful for, I sometimes wonder about God's sense of humor. This year was definitely about change and transitioning in many ways. I received good news and I received bad news. But I have hope. I have hope that this year is all about faith, health, happiness and togetherness. Sometimes life gives us small to large tests depending on whatever you can handle, and that's the time to stop right in your tracks and see it for what it is...or what it isn't. So, I give you our moments of 2011. Some happy, some bizarre, some frustrating and of course, new friends we met on the way to 2012. First, Mad gets her haircut by Ryan Nickulas from The A-List New York. It all started right before last Christmas of 2010 while watching The A-List NY on LOGO. I had no clue what to get Madelene for a present, and then it hit me: her favorite cast member, Ryan Nickulas owns a salon in the West Village in NYC. I didn't know how I was going to do it

The Fear of Crossing Over

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If you cannot view this video, please click here . If you cannot see this video, please click here . There’s something much larger than us. As I said in my previous post, it’s too much of a mystery for us to figure it out, but what if people like Ben Breedlove who has cheated death three times and then tells us that there is something out there? Ben’s fourth time resulted in death on Christmas night due to a heart condition. Will the atheists start believing? Will all spiritual and religious people stop fearing death? It’s life’s biggest kept secret - biggest mystery - biggest fear. It’ll never downgrade or be seen as something we never think about on a daily basis. I wonder how his mother feels - does she believe he’s okay? Does it make her own questioning about the mystery of death any lesser? Or, does she believe that what Ben was seeing was purely out of visions manifesting from his brain? No one is ever convinced, even when this happens to a loved one. At the end of this video,

Do We All Secretly Live In Fear?

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It’s no wonder that the biggest of all debates, besides the political ones, are religious ones. It’s amazing to see people battle with something, or (someone) that they absolutely cannot prove. Some will scroll down to a scripture in their bible to prove its truth, but when a bible or any scroll has been written by man and translated a bazillion times, how can we go by this? Faith is the answer. No one can argue with what you believe in, unless of course you have scientific proof to back it up - and I don’t mean testimonials, (although I love hearing them). Some people believe that religion was “invented” so we as humans wouldn’t have to fear death. It was meant to be some sort of security blanket for all who were scared. I’m grateful that my belief is truth to me, and yet, there’s that small little seed of doubt about my afterlife. I accept it because it’s completely normal due to living in my physical being. But all of those unexplainable happenings, revelations, spiritual expe

Is It Over Yet?

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Yes and no. The holidays seem to be passing us by very quickly as usual, perhaps a bit slower for those who have just recently had a breakup or divorce. We got through Christmas, but then there’s New Year’s Eve, the one night of the year where you actually stay up past 12 midnight and spend time with your closest friends and family, and of course, hopefully the love of your life. If you’re not with the one you love, the entire night (and I speak for most people having been through it) is that you constantly wonder what he or she is doing that very minute. When New Year’s Day and a nice ripe hangover arrives, you’ll be much better off watching marathon episodes of The Honeymooners and popping Advil. It’s done and over with...or is it? You get only one month to rest and BAM -- Valentine’s Day will be creeping up before you know it. I don’t care if you spend that evening with a bunch of single women -- you’re. going. to. think. about. him/her. What a bullshit holiday designed to boost flo

Faking 'Happiness' on Christmas

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Years ago, I remember running around doing last minute Christmas shopping used to be fun. I actually did it on purpose. All the decorations were in full bloom, people seemed happier and the overall feel for the holiday was much more evident. Yesterday, as I was driving store to store, I realized it’s no longer that ‘quaint joyous feeling’ - it’s become absolute rage and chaos. Between traffic being backed up for miles and people trying to nudge their way into the mess, one kid almost slammed right into my passenger side of my car. I kept beeping and beeping, but he kept coming. I had to go on the other side of the lane in order to avoid him. Of course, I ‘silent screamed’ at him through my windows with a few choice words, but then, I saw his face. He had the face of a pitiful and stressed out young man. I read his lips: “I’m so sorry! I am so so sorry!” He had his hands up as if he was surrendering. Then it dawned on me: I’m the holiday bitch from hell. The kid really didn’t see me, ev

Rare Breeds

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Whenever I see my friends complain about other people, whether it be about their behavior, their lack of attending certain functions or they’re just not doing enough -- I tend to feel bad for them. I never think about a certain friend and say, “Well he or she doesn’t do enough for me” - it’s more of a question of “Am I doing enough” , which makes me wonder about other people’s motives. I have a hard time trusting people through my own personal experiences. Either one friend expected way too much from of me, whether it be money, more time or whatever - and if I don’t ‘pull through’ for them, I'm gossiped about in the henhouse as a ‘vedy vedy bad person’. (Yes, done with an accent & all.) I can only do my best, and sometimes, my best isn’t good enough for some. I have encountered people downgrading my relationship with my wife, telling me that I wasn’t in love with her because I had been with her for this many years. I have had so many friends judge my lifestyle, judge my entir

Occupy Wall Street Greed

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Milk Street Cafe in New York City near Zuccotti Park has closed due to the Occupy Wall Street movement. The owner of the cafe said, “Hope you're happy, Occupy Wall Street. All your rabble rousing has driven a small business owner out of business.” Not only was this business severely affected by the 9/11 tragedy, but now our own people - New York protesters - people who want to ‘give it to the big corps’ are certainly giving it to the small mom & pop stores. Occupy Wall Street protesters are no different than the big greedy corporate world: they don’t think about anybody other than themselves, they act like pigs, they are defiant, rude and most of all, take away business from hard working people who are trying to make it out there. There is absolutely no difference whatsoever. A bunch of hypocritical unemployed asshats roaming the streets, smoking pot, banging on drums and pissing on patrol cars are sending one solid message: we’re bored. They’re quitting their jobs (to complain

Amplified Emotions & Wallets

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What is it about the holidays that puts a fine line between joy & sadness? Some say it’s circumstantial: loss of employment, economy, death of a loved one, divorce or a breakup, etc., etc., etc. But if you think about it, you’ll never see a kid depressed around this time of year. You’ll never see them mope around the house dreading the Christmas decorations being put up or grumbling profanities while putting up the tree. (Yes, I know I’m not being politically correct.) I finally figured out why some of us adults are so grumpy, blue and miserable this time of year: we grew up. For one, our fantasies have been crushed to smithereens. Santa Claus isn’t real. He was dad with a bunch of pillows stuffed inside his shirt. All of our letters to him weren’t “received”, but were granted by mere humans: our parents. (Which we should be grateful for.) But it wasn’t some magical fat man in a red suit riding a sleigh with reindeers. I remember calling the 976 number to see where Santa Clause was

When the Churches Justify Their Hatred in the Name of God

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Exactly one month today, I had written a post entitled, “ The Messy Christian ”. In short, it basically summed up my dislike for the people in the church who were so quick to judge, yet failed to look at the speck in their own eye. We’re there to pray to God, not to play God. Like I said in that post, I had grew apart from the church for a very long time and developed a much stronger relationship with God, however I was finding that lately, I feel more of a pull to go back. Each time I prepared to go, something made me think, “I can’t go back there.” I can definitely sit and ‘try’ to focus on what the speaker is saying, but what if the speaker is tearing down those who are homosexual? The last time I went to church, they had a service dedicated to gays and lesbians. In my head, I thought this was going to be a positive thing. ...It wasn’t. They basically tore us down. As the female minister described a scenario of sorts, I began to question my own self-worth. She said, “Remember when y