Living Proof

Over the years, I've learned several things 'not to do' while living in this crazy world. It's hard to make the right choices when you'r'e conflicted about what's "right" and what's "wrong" -- and granted, sometimes there is no right or wrong, it's just a matter of opinion in most cases. In most circumstances where I think I should let someone know my opinion, it usually is. ..until it isn't. And what I mean by that is -- have you ever told someone you care about that their spouse or significant other was cheating on them? 9 out of 10 times, you'll find that it will always backfire. You then become the "bad guy" -- and morally speaking, you would think that you should be able to go to your friend with this crucial info -- but the bearer of bad news can quickly become the enemy, or at least, "the one who told me" -- which gives them a bad feeling every time they see you. So in my opinion, it is best...

At times, apologies are more than welcomed and surely a brave act of love and a willingness to oversee any past hurts that have been endured. But is it enough? Words are sometimes meaningless. And the old cliché, "Actions speak louder than words" can be applied here. There's something to be said for a constant persistence of sincerity - a genuine act of regretted actions in the form of a friendly invite, a "welcome back" if you will - if one accepts of course.  With anything in life, I weigh out the cons and pros. It may sound corny, but it really works. I even weigh out the cons and pros of a past friendship, an old job opportunity, to even bringing something new (or old) into my diet. Anything. Is it worth it? Will it (or they) improve my life? What if "just taking a chance" is the only option you have?  Fear can play a major role in your decision to bring back something in your past. Or, should the past be completely forgotten about? What if your ...

Betrayal to a woman seems to be more detrimental than it is to a man. Women are emotional creatures with softer hearts, or seemingly so. They absorb so much and at times, they never let the absorption dry up, or for a lack of better terms, forgive; to let go. Betrayal can be many things. It can be finding out your husband or wife cheated on you. It can be finding out that a friend has spoken unkindly about you to another person. It can be finding out that your secrets have been revealed by someone you trusted with all your heart. Forgiving and forgetting are sometimes hard to do. You can either forgive, but the forgetting part is still going to hold onto that heart of yours. So how can we truly forgive someone when we're finding it difficult to forget? Madelene asked me yesterday, "Oh, you still talk to her?" She was referring to someone who had betrayed my trust at one time. I said, "Yeah, it's okay. I just won't tell her anything personal, that's all...

In the past, I used to roll my eyes whenever someone would talk about, “the laws of attraction” or “karma” type of situations where they could place a ‘blame’ on something happening in their lives. Some would chuck it up to luck and others would simply say, “it was all meant to be.” The one cliché that I tend to cringe at, but I somewhat agree with is, “You are exactly where you’re supposed to be.” What about déjà vu? I remember a friend telling me that when déjà vu occurs, it’s a 'scene' that you have already been through in a previous life (perhaps repeating your life again), where the message or purpose is to let you know that you are exactly where you’re supposed to be in your life. It would happen a lot during one point in my life where I questioned it constantly. I still do. I get various answers - too many answers to where I just chuck it up to a ‘faulty memory’. Getting back to the laws of attraction or even karma, I have to say that these past couple of months h...

A companion. Someone you can rely on in good times and bad. Someone who looks through your human flaws, idiosyncrasies and sees the soul of who you are and doesn’t count every mistake you have made. It’s someone who forgives, but most of all, is able to forget and move forward… with you. It’s the person you go to with your deepest secrets and the knowledge that it stays between you and that person. It’s someone who can identify with you, even if they disagree with what you’re saying. It’s the one person who would drive through a hurricane just to be with you only if for just a few hours. It’s the person you can sit in a comfortable silence with. This person will always edify you and lift your spirits up, not tear them down. You can always be reassured that outward appearances are superficial to them; it’s the heart, the soul and the love in your heart that matters the most. This person will provide an atmosphere of love, compassion, loyalty, friendship and safety for you. This person...

T here are many people in my life that read me incorrectly. They take what I say and turn it into something totally opposite of what is meant to be heard in a positive tone. Then I think, well what if I’m saying it in a different tone? What if my words on “paper” are coming out wrong? What if my emails and blog posts are being misconstrued? Text can be misleading if taken the wrong way. You don’t hear the “tone” of the words that are being typed out. My words can be delicate yet distrait when writing an email to a friend or loved one. Even while blogging, I can definitely come across as politically incorrect or insensitive while discussing an issue that may come across as “offensive”. I've also found myself writing or talking much faster than my actual thought process. This could be a bad thing… Sometimes I don’t think when I speak or write, which may cause a lot of confusion for many people I communicate with. I’m working on it. Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get ...

Have you ever been used by somebody you cared about--not even necessarily relationship-wise, but used in the terms of them taking advantage of your good nature? We’re supposed to give without expectations and expect nothing more than a ‘thank you’ or some sort of appreciation. But what if that appreciation isn’t reciprocated or acknowledged? It shouldn’t matter, right? But, deep down inside, we feel this horrible twinge of sadness, because we've done so much for this person and we didn’t even get an acknowledgment. What’s an acknowledgement? Maybe it’s just a “thank you”. Or maybe, it’s some sort of gesture to indicate that it was needed; a sigh of relief. I was really hurt by a friend today. I feel bitter. I feel used. I feel all these negative things that I want to get out of my system. I hate feeling this way. I want to understand “why”, but sometimes, there are people out there that are brought up differently, or they don’t have it in their hearts to realize what they’re doing...