Living Proof

There are days where I just want to shut the world out, live inside my head, turn all TVs, phones, radios and other electronic devices off and listen to nothing other than the fire crackling and maybe a few dogs barking along the way. I was supposed to head into the city today, however after my second dizzy spell, I decided to take it easy and do my work from home. Human interaction is such a wonderful thing, isn’t it? But sometimes, you need that “me time”---that time to just shut the world out and focus on whatever it is you want, if even nothing at all. I had a friend ask if I wanted to join her for a quick glass of wine and talk. Normally, I would, but I just wouldn’t be good company today. I need the complete silence surrounding me and the calmness of just being content as one. I’m so grateful I have that option, because if I chose another path, it would be quite different. The other night while Madelene and I were grocery shopping, we had seen a woman and her three boys, pro...

I remember when I used to have nightmares when I was younger, I would slip into my parents' bed and sleep in between the both of them.  I felt safe. Nothing could harm me now. My dad would wake up at 3am and head into New York City to work at the South Street Seaport. I would hear his fish van start up and then pull out of our driveway. I’d slowly creep onto his side of the bed, knowing now it was just me and my mom. I still felt safe, even though dad had left us. In the morning, mom would wake me up, we’d get dressed and I'd run around town with her doing errands and giving her grief at the grocery store. I remember riding in the car seat in the back of our huge yellow Cadillac that took up the entire street ...length-wise.   I’d whine about why I had to still use this uncomfortable seat and then pass out from being such a pain in the ass. Nothing has changed really. Dad would come home at around 1 o’clock in the afternoon, grab lunch and head off to his excavating job. ...

What does it mean? Whoever you talk to- a friend, spouse, family member or a co-worker, 95% of the time, they will agree with whatever you have to say regarding a personal matter that’s going on in your life. Some advice may be a little too over the top, and others may be generalized for the sake of staying neutral, but overall, you’ll come to notice that the advice you get from the people closest to you will deter you from making a conscious and wise decisions of your own. Influences. People who are close to us have the influence to persuade us one way or the other. Sometimes, people do it out of self-gratifying reasons. Sometimes, you have to ask yourself, does this person want something out of this? What would he/she gain if I told them this, or got advice from them about that? Does this person have a romantic interest in me? Or is this person jealous of the relationship I have with whomever I’m having the problem with for whatever reason? How do you determine what’s “good advice”?...