Living Proof

Nothing can bring you peace, but yourself. ~Ralph Waldo Emmerson Sincerity. It's a rarity these days. As I always thought, asking a simple, "how are you" doesn't require an answer any longer, in fact, it usually doesn't want one. A "how are you" is a another form of, "hello" - and if you do decide to expand on how you are doing , eyes will start rolling. Although I know there is an unwritten rule of the good ol' "how are you" - I will always ask you and expect a truthful answer. When I ask how you are - I wanna know the good and bad and I will always try to be of some help to you or just lend you an ear if you need to vent. I have found a few friends who are very sincere (not more than a handful mind you.) A little over a week ago I was going through some turbulent times. A good friend of mine recognized I wasn't quite myself and so, I decided to text her some bizarre message of the craziness that I was going through. She ...

Never be mean to the wait staff.  For the most part, I'd like to think that I'm not so much judgmental as I am careful of who I select to be in my world. I don't care what color, race, gender or sexual orientation you are --- I go by my judge of character alone. I'm not perfect. I'm not trying to be. I never criticize unless it becomes obvious.  I observe. For example: if I see you being mean to the wait staff, I'll call you out on it and I'll avoid you at all costs and hope to God that the waiter or waitress spits in your food you brought back. If I see you intentionally hurting or using someone who is a good person, I'll steer clear. If I sense you're out to just use anyone who will just spend a moment's time with you just because you're bored, your invite will be declined. There are two sets of people: those who gain friends by hurting others and those who gain friends from being genuine friends. No doubt, people love to gossip and ...

Betrayal to a woman seems to be more detrimental than it is to a man. Women are emotional creatures with softer hearts, or seemingly so. They absorb so much and at times, they never let the absorption dry up, or for a lack of better terms, forgive; to let go. Betrayal can be many things. It can be finding out your husband or wife cheated on you. It can be finding out that a friend has spoken unkindly about you to another person. It can be finding out that your secrets have been revealed by someone you trusted with all your heart. Forgiving and forgetting are sometimes hard to do. You can either forgive, but the forgetting part is still going to hold onto that heart of yours. So how can we truly forgive someone when we're finding it difficult to forget? Madelene asked me yesterday, "Oh, you still talk to her?" She was referring to someone who had betrayed my trust at one time. I said, "Yeah, it's okay. I just won't tell her anything personal, that's all...

Your life isn't for nothing - everything you do is for something. I remember weeks before Dad passed, he said to the social worker, "Ya can't believe it - it was like yesta'day when I was out working two jobs makin' money and enjoying life, n' just like dat - (as he snaps his fingers) - it's ova'!"  She looked at him and said, "But look what you did, Charlie? Look at all your accomplishments. Look at all the families enjoying their backyards because you laid the foundations for them. Look at all the people who enjoyed a good meal because you ran a fish market. You made a huge difference and you're still making a difference today."  Life can seem grim and hopeless, especially when everything you've worked so hard on is initially over. But when you truly think about it -- is it over? Have you left something behind that people can still look back upon? Have you planted seeds that people are still appreciating? Even good advice is a...

There are many things I have learned over past decade or so that makes me wonder about other people’s motives, and even my own. In relationships, we all would love to trust the person we’re with and have that be the best friendship we’ve ever had. We want to trust our friends, the ones who we confide in, the ones we think who are keeping our innermost secrets. Reality is harsh sometimes. We sometimes find out the hard way that people aren’t perfect. It hurts. It feels like betrayal - but is it? Or is it more or less just being human? I guess it depends on the level of “betrayal”. My trust begins with myself - the ability to forgive, and hopefully forget if possible. There are so many outside people interjecting into relationships - giving them unnecessary advice, whether or not it’s genuine. The problem with that is, if that one outside person is negative and unforgiving, the person in the relationship taking the advice will then most likely not forgive his or her partner. Why do you t...

Have you ever been used by somebody you cared about--not even necessarily relationship-wise, but used in the terms of them taking advantage of your good nature? We’re supposed to give without expectations and expect nothing more than a ‘thank you’ or some sort of appreciation. But what if that appreciation isn’t reciprocated or acknowledged? It shouldn’t matter, right? But, deep down inside, we feel this horrible twinge of sadness, because we've done so much for this person and we didn’t even get an acknowledgment. What’s an acknowledgement? Maybe it’s just a “thank you”. Or maybe, it’s some sort of gesture to indicate that it was needed; a sigh of relief. I was really hurt by a friend today. I feel bitter. I feel used. I feel all these negative things that I want to get out of my system. I hate feeling this way. I want to understand “why”, but sometimes, there are people out there that are brought up differently, or they don’t have it in their hearts to realize what they’re doing...