Living Proof

Sometimes I have friends or acquaintances ask me how I recovered from substance abuse and alcohol (although alcohol was more of an adverse reaction, it was also an addiction.) My answer usually makes them pretty uncomfortable. But I have nothing else to tell them. If I don't tell them the truth, then why even bother?  It started with Jesus. That answer alone had eyes rolling. But it's true. The chains of addiction were broken once I finally got uncomfortable. I remember praying one morning, asking God to make my wine taste like sour vinegar, to where I could no longer ingest it. I didn't get my prayer answered---(at least the way I wanted.) God answered me in the form of a life-threatening reaction. He needed to wake me up.  "'Lord, help!' they cried in their trouble, and he saved them from their distress. He led them from darkness and deepest gloom; He snapped their chains."---Psalm 106:13-14 It was when I opened my Bible, that my answers started coming a...

Removing the Bandaid For the longest time, I've covered a bullet hole with a bandaid. Any quick fix would do. I was never taught to ride out the storm, but to only shelter from it. If I cried, I was begged not to cry. I was only encouraged to laugh, and to also make other people laugh. As I got older, it was encouraged to numb the emotional pain or trauma by self-medicating. Of course, no one threw a cold one at me and screamed out, "Here---this'll help get the 'feel bads' outta ya!" Everyone around me drank to ease the pain. I thought that this was the norm---this was what you were supposed to do. Trust me, I didn't mind the liquid courage, but after some time, it affected my health, mentally and physically. The closer I drew to God, the less I needed the 'fruit of the vine' or the 'potato juice.' But once I put the drink down, that's when the soul wounds needed tending to.  For years, the only way to mask the anxiety was either to dr...

Do you find yourself easily triggered and angered by what someone said? Usually, the word "triggered" is used in a derogatory way for conservatives to insult liberals--yet I find many conservatives are also triggered. But I'm not talking about politics right now. I'm speaking on a human level---a level where we all can relate in some way. When someone triggers you, they've succeeded to anger you. And this "someone" probably didn't even mean to make you angry. It was their point of view that stirred up the fear that was already inside of you. Fear is what eggs on trigger-like responses. It's a defensive response to a vulnerability someone may have. I'm guilty of it. But I know that if I dig deep enough, it's from my own anxiety-driven mind, to which I'm desperately trying heal. Some people will take advantage of your fear, using triggering words to stir the pot. They know what they're doing, and they just want to grab the popcorn a...

Have you been feeling on edge, more so than usual lately? Have you been tempted to just tell someone off, or argue with someone just for the sake of arguing? You may even believe that what you are experiencing is completely just "you"---or that it's a normal process of anxiety and anger. But what you may not know is that something else is behind the scenes. This is the part where I tell you, 'believe it or not,' and if you don't believe it, then witness all that's happening around you, especially when it comes closer to July 5th.  What's July 5th?  Here's a fun conspiracy theory: CERN located on the Franco-Swiss border near Geneva. At CERN, the European Organization for Nuclear Research, physicists and engineers are probing the fundamental structure of the universe. They use the world's largest and most complex scientific instruments to study the basic constituents of matter – the fundamental particles. They use the Haydron Collider. The LHC is...