Living Proof

Back in 2003, I was trying my hardest to become a writer. I started a blog in hopes to get my thoughts out on 'paper' as well as relate to others, hopefully help some people out there on the interwebs. Months later into my blogging experience, I found myself looking at another girl's blog who happened to be featured in the New York Times. She was blogging the same amount of time I was and was offered a book deal. I frantically read her blog, page after page, hoping to find her secret to success. Her writing style was easy to read, which I like because I think people who use 50 cent words are kinda pretentious. The content itself was really dirty though -- pretty much trashy. She mainly spoke about her dating experiences, much like how Amy Schumer would describe them. I'll leave it at that. Everyone ate it up. Her blog got thousands of comments, where she needed a personal assistant to just help out with all the replies. This was before social media, so blog comments...

I can work outside on my deck. Years ago when I was stuck in a cubicle for 8-12 hours, I would always imagine myself working from home. Back in the late 90's, early 2000's, that was a rarity. I never thought I could pull something like that off. There are many perks about working outside of your home: interacting with other like-minded people, a different atmosphere, office parties as well as no "set" office inside your home. In all honesty, I was very unhappy working in an office doing what I did. I went into accounting and then into a crazy high paced call center answering calls from frustrated customers for either technical support or to argue about a bill. It was tedious and downright draining. The last thing I wanted to see when I got home was a phone and a computer. In 2002, my company started laying off people by the droves, or reducing the salary into HALF. Management started shifting playing musical chairs, our quotas and numbers needed to be 99% or h...

Have you ever spent time with someone who's just incredibly bitter at the world, that once you've separated from them, you kind of feel that same bitterness yourself? It definitely rubs off sometimes. There's a huge difference between someone who is going through terrible circumstances in life and someone who is just a chronic complainer of life in general. Everyone is to blame and they take no accountability for their actions whatsoever. And don't get me wrong, I'm no stranger when it comes to bitching about something or someone -- I just can't imagine doing this for no other reason than to start up a conversation about something... anything . For the most part, many people feel it's a funny thing to be bitter, especially those who twist it into a 'joking around' type of thing. And sometimes it is. But when does it come to the point when you realize that all you do is complain about other people? Or do you even notice it? I'm friends with ...

Have you ever felt like all your efforts were unseen and just invisible to everyone but yourself? Ever try to make people in your life happy but it just feels like you're hitting a brick wall over and over again? Then you start asking yourself, "Am I even happy?" A friend of mine wrote a really great post called, " Play Nice " which really spoke volumes on the laws of attraction. She writes, "The law of cause and effect where every action produces an equal and opposite reaction essentially states that there are consequences to our actions. We are the crafters of our own destiny and happiness and what we put out creates a kind of energy that will travel through the Universe and in a different form will come back to us." It sounds like this "law" should be foolproof, working on all levels of everything that's positive. My question is, are these theories and "laws" similar to ones in the Bible - "to control the masses" ...

For the longest time, I've been trying to write my second book. It's been challenging the last three years with my dad being sick and all. My emotions gave my writing ability a huge wall. Dad would always say, "Oh you gotta put this story in your book," but it wasn't my story. It was his. I'm jotting this book down in more of a lighthearted feel. That's how we were - all of us - lighthearted and laughing at our struggles in life. We never played the victim. That wasn't what our family was about. Dad would say, "I gave you excitement!" And he did. He begged me to write everything down, so with his wishes, I am collecting all of his stories as well as my own experiences to show you how life was for me as a kid and an adult. Of course, some names and places have been changed to protect the guilty. So please bear with me as I work on this next project. I'll be using this blog to vent out some of my frustrations about whatever. Until then, ...

For the life of me I cannot remember the title of the movie I was watching last night, but it was about this young girl who was an aspiring writer during the great depression. She lived with her family in an urban part of Canada, until she started coming down with a terrible cough, which led the family to believe it was tuberculosis. They sent her off to live with her aunt up in a rural part of the area to get some fresh air. Her aunt lived alone, lived off the land and relied on nobody. She was strong, strict, hardworking and brave. The girl eventually got better due to her aunt’s care, but while she was there, she revealed that she has always wanted to be a writer. The aunt encouraged her and said, “Tell your story. Every story has a beginning, a middle and an ending.” So when the girl got better, she wrote a story about “The bravest man I’ve ever known was a woman” (her aunt) and wrote about how fearless her aunt was to live alone, get her own food and to live out her dream. She won...

“There’s nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter (or computer) and open a vein.” ~Walter Wellesley Strangely enough, I had a few people ask me about writing within the last couple of weeks. They wanted to know a few things: between how to get started, creating a blog, writing a book and even if there were writers out there who would write for them. I was surprised at the last one because I know for myself, I can’t let other people take the wheel, even if I say, “Make a left hand turn.” I’m always the driver, so I have a hard time relating to that one. The people I spoke with all seem to want to go from zero to sixty in 3.5 seconds. Writing isn’t an instant job with dollar signs to be seen right away, unless you went to college for journalism and landed the ideal job at a well known media source. I didn’t see a dime for three years while writing. The first thing I ever wrote was my book, A Prayer Away From Healing . Then it was advised by the publishing house I t...

How do you see yourself? How do you think others see you? Do you care how others see you or think about you? Regardless, sometimes people are much different than what they come across online. For instance, I like some people better “on paper” than I do in real life. I’m absolutely positive the same can be said about me. Seeing words that flow together or seeing an article you can totally relate to is not the same as connecting in person. It’s a total different ball game. I remember a very long time ago, I was apart of this message board for gay and lesbian writers. I started exchanging emails with this one lady who happened to be so eloquently written and our conversations back and forth were so ‘in tune’ with one another that I truly thought we would click right away if we were to become friends in person. We were even discussing writing together and putting something out there from all of our brainstorms that seemed to have flowed so well. There were no photos exchanged, nor were t...

One of the best perks about blogging in my opinion is coming across interesting people and making new friends. Of course writing is a huge part of it, but along with the writing comes the reading. I love reading other people’s blogs. In fact, I’d rather read someone else's blog, rather than a famous author’s book. It’s more “raw” and it shows you a little peek of someone else’s life whom you’ve never met before. You start to get to know them, as you would a character in a book. I love that. In the five years that I’ve been blogging, I have met wonderful people through their writings, and I have also met quite a few in person as well. I don’t believe I have ever met a blogger friend I didn’t like or get a long with. I’d like to think that I’m a pretty good judge of character. I don’t think I have ever come across a blogger I have met in real life that I didn’t like. If I like the writing or your creative flow on your blog --I’m sure I’m going to like the person behind it too. ...

Completely and utterly tapped out of anything of importance to say, write or jot down on this blog. As I get older, I find that many things change: body starts to take a whole new form, bigger here, smaller there, bulkier there, with everlasting options of a nip & tuck doctor waiting in the wings. I find that passions for things in life tweak itself somewhat: I used to paint and draw, now I just prefer photography. I use to play guitar for at least 3-5 hours per day, then I found writing. I wrote lyrics and composed songs for hours at a time without realizing how much time had passed by. I used to love to write blogs and articles for the gay and lesbian community, for hours upon hours, until someone had given me deadlines. And now, my current passion is filming and editing videos, however it is seemingly gearing towards the business aspect of it. I’m hoping that my passion for it doesn’t die out just because someone is expecting “good work” out of me. Back in high school I maj...

I believe the ability to create and express yourself in an artistic way is a product of your past or present, whether it be from extreme emotions such as happiness and sadness. There are some people I know who “used to” draw and paint beautiful things when they were younger, while going through tumultuous times. Now, while being ‘all grown up’, they feel it’s childish to draw again or be creative in any medium they choose. “Oh I can’t draw like that anymore” or “I don’t have it in me any longer.” Although the stressful circumstances have now changed to different types of stressors in their lives, why cut off the creative flow? Why not try it again? Why do some people cut off their creative side as they approach a certain age? “I would be so horrible at that!” I hear that all the time. Why don’t you try? Why not give it a whirl and if you don’t enjoy it, then don’t do it. You don’t have to show the world your poetry, art work, photography, or whatever it is you have a pas...

Yesterday brought good news. My friend Tamar , who is a talented writer, finished her first book. She was so kind to send me an excerpt of it. As all of my close friends and family know, I write, but it takes a lot for me to read a book —or should I say finish one. I get disinterested really fast. This excerpt that she sent over to me was so interesting, that I couldn’t stop reading it. When it finished, I craved more. It stopped there? Then what? What happened? Wait! You can’t leave me hanging! When you can’t put a book down, you know it’s good. I’m so happy for her and thrilled that her passion for writing (among many other talents she has), came to fruition. After writing a book, even before it hits the publishers---it’s a huge accomplishment. You can visit her blog here . So, first of all, I’d like to say happy belated birthday, Tamar! I’ll be first in line waiting to get my book signed! Now get your butt over to my place and let's celebrate!!!

Although I was planning to head off to Provincetown, MA to work on my second book, and of course relax, I took a little detour. I put some clips together of my vacation so you can see how beautiful it really is over there. Here are some photos I took below. Whenever I see something that calms me, I take pictures. The last picture just reminded me of the hectic place I'd be returning to.