Living Proof

The one thing (among many things) I don’t understand, is why people try to control the person they’re with. They try to dress them a certain way, act a certain way, dictate their life as well as try to mold them into their own clone. If you met them that way, and you decided to date them, why change them? The worst thing in the world is to feel as though you can’t be yourself, dress the way you want or say what you feel to anyone you’d like. So why be with somebody who makes you feel so imprisoned? I love the fact that my wife allows me to be...’me’. She never tells me “you can’t do or say that” - she has discretion on what’s best for me, but never tries to dull my inspiration or goals. She supports me 100%. She has never tried to change my style, or tell me to wear my hair like ‘this’, or any of those types of suggestions just to please her ego. She doesn’t want control. She wants love. There’s a huge difference between control and love. When you truly love someone for who they are, y...

Life is too short to be spending your time with someone who makes your life miserable or makes you feel less than super excited about life. Of course love is a feeling, but it’s also a conscious choice made to “choose” who you want to love & grow old with. To consciously pick someone who is controlling, abusive or manipulative will eventually come to a head over time. When we’re young, we tend to pick the ‘wrong ones’ or be attracted to the badass types. That fades with time, and after a while, you’re going to want someone who allows you...to be “you”. My wife made a good point this morning while talking about this. She said that when someone stifles you or “smothers your feathers”, you can’t fly; you can’t be yourself. You’re trapped in this prison that you've created for yourself. You chose this. Also, you can choose to leave the prison whenever you want. I think many people who don’t leave a bad situation is because of all the time invested. What about all the times waste...

In the past I understood it more. I experienced the feeling of being in the grips of an ultimate control freak, or perhaps, the ‘emotionally kept’ woman who was scared to death to be herself, always wondering when the next explosive emotional time bomb was going to explode and fly off the handles for any given reason. Memories of hiding silly things, such as voice mails from my best friend that could have been interpreted as something else. “Well, why’d she say it like that?” It would always be my fault. I was always in the wrong. I’d end up hiding practically everything around her, including the “real me”. I ended up being someone else and crawled into a shell of fear. Who am I? I had lost myself for a while before I finally realized that the “real me” was dying to emerge from this Stepford Wife that I was created into. I’d find myself lying about the smallest of things, as opposed to the “real me” being very bluntly honest. “This is me, take it or leave it.” I missed that sonnvab...