Living Proof

Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.             ― Fulton Oursler It's amazing how time flies. It only seems like yesterday when I was a little girl lying on the grass looking up at the sky with my older sisters without a care in the world. We never left the poolside in the summertime. My mom would come out with a huge tray of iced tea and sandwiches after a long morning of swimming and playing. My dad would normally get home from work at around 3 o'clock in the afternoon. His big black van would swoop around the corner, and park nearby the pool area. He'd make a few snarky comments like, " Youz' have the life, you know dat?" He would chuckle and poke fun at us for a while, and then he'd go straight into the house and nap until around 6ish because of his long day working over at the fish market in NYC, to only have to wake up at 2am to do it all over again. We had so many friends come in and...

The one thing I've noticed, especially as of late, is that people seem to thrive off of negativity. They can say that their thoughts and actions are justified, but they stir things up, wreak havoc or just throw themselves in a pit of depression. I was one of them. I stayed in my depression for long periods of time. But the one thing I noticed was that my negative energy only fed off of others alike who were also negative. I couldn't get much from the positive people because their frequency was much different. But in the same aspect, because of their higher frequency, they sometimes pulled me out from that dark pit. So in turn, I learned another thing: it's nobody's responsibility to save you. Nobody is obligated to help you in any way. One day, I just decided that I was no longer going to torture myself. I mean, granted -- I still get anxiety from time to time, which leads me in a very exhausted depressive state, but I pull myself out of it quickly now. I try to be ve...

Lately, I've been reading a lot of books regarding spirituality, near-death experiences and overall ways to cope with the mind's inability to shut the hell up. One of the books that I particularly enjoyed was called, The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. I know, I know, I'm like a decade late on this best seller, but I feared it may have other belief systems that went against mine. I'm more open to other belief systems today, but surprisingly, they referenced a lot about Jesus in this book. The main gist is to separate yourself from your physical mind and become your "Being" -- your "soul" and observe what the mind does to you or what it conjures up. And once you witness and notice the thoughts, all thoughts seem to dissolve, as if you caught your own mind undressing. That's the best way I can describe it, because this book can be very 'wordy', the the point of dropping it and picking up The Cat in the Hat instead. I guess it's very ...