Living Proof

Sometimes I feel like everybody in my life wants to give me a jab because either they’re in a bad mood or they resent me for something.  Maybe it’s all in my head, I don’t know. As of lately, I’ve noticed certain people who are in my life poking at me for the smallest of things, making a big fiasco out of nothing. I find that if I don’t respond the way they want me to (combative and explosive), then they seem to get angrier. I simply accept what they say, without it seeming arrogant or nonchalant, nor undermining their feelings, and then I get blasted with a well thought out rebuttal as though they were saying, “Watch--this’ll get under her skin...” Even when I try to go out of my way for these people to do nice things for them, or to make them feel better when they’re seemingly in a disgruntle mood, I get comments like, “Aww, was that a Hallmark moment for you?” Maybe I don’t understand people as well as I thought I did. Maybe I’m doing something wrong here but all I know is, peo...

It’s been a while since I’ve actually written a solid entry in here. My computer, as you know went bonkers on me. I had to get it repaired and send it out since it was still under warranty. The most frustrating aspect of it all was the tech support group in India who helped me- or at least tried. Since I’ve been without a computer for this long, I’ve done a lot of praying, meditating and reading. I’ve been coming to terms with issues that haven’t been resolved. Yes, I have issues – ask my shrink. I realized this week that I’m a total control freak. If things aren’t going accordingly to “my plan”, then I’m bound to stomp, bitch and moan over the things that cannot be “controlled”. ( Hence my previous short post .) That explained a lot. See, all my life, I had this idea of anyone who came into my life needed to meet my ‘standards’. My standards were impossible. I'd make a fuss over many things, such as a partner on a business trip, late hours, someone who focused way too much on wor...