Living Proof

Sometimes it's hard to just write one word no less an entire article, so instead I'll just do a live stream and have that be my "blog post." Fortunately, I love to cook so I won't bore the heck outta people, well we can only hope. My schedule as I've yapped about before has been quite the rollercoaster. I'm awake until 6am. It used to 3am (no big deal) or even 4 or 5am. I decided to do most of my work at night now. I don't mind working at night, but I truly wish I was more of a day person like I used to be. Now, my body tires out when the birds are chirping outside. If I am not running around like a chicken with its head cut off, then my mind will do it instead. I constantly need to be busy, either cleaning like a lunatic or cooking for an army.. .of three, at most. Leftovers, right? My insomnia stems from anxiety. Someone asked me the other day if I was depressed. I'm not. I am incredibly grateful for every single thing, every single person a...

Richard Sherman said it right: "There's no need to be a barbaric human being, but on the field, we're playing a very barbaric sport, you can do what you please." I've had my fill of all the haters bashing Richard Sherman left and right, when in fact, most of these people ranting about how "classless" Sherman was, have all had their share of outbursts one time or another. Emotions are a funny thing. Once you've already established tension with someone, and that opportunity arises where you can just release all that anger and hopefully, in a healthy way --- that's what makes us human. Of course, our actions speak volumes about our character, however I don't believe what Richard Sherman did was such an abomination. He managed to make a touchdown right over his enemy. The emotion that came over him was more excitement, satisfaction and a final outlet for all of his pent up emotions. Even the reporter who was taken aback wasn't frightened in...

On Christmas Eve, Madelene and I have a little tradition that we never break. We go to our favorite restaurant, sit at the bar, order a dry martini straight up with olives and an antipasto for two. We then head off to my sister's Christmas Eve party. While sitting at the bar this year, we noticed two older men at the way corner end and a few stragglers to the side of us. The female bartender was swamped with orders from the tables as well as right in front of her. She couldn't pour fast enough. She looked like she was ready to throw in the towel. I said, "Come to the other side of the bar and have a drink with us," - in jest of course, and she said, "Ugh God I wish!" It wasn't even minutes later when the old man sitting over in the far corner screamed out, "Goddamnit! This is the worst Manhattan I've ever tasted! Are you kidding me?" -- He went on and on about it. A sufficient, "Can I have another drink, this one isn't very good...

Life. Strange. Mysterious. Complicated. Surreal. Some people have all the "luck" in the world, while others suffer so terribly. I always think of that song, " Only the Good Die Young"  by Billy Joel and I have to wonder, is it true? Even with fairness overall -- (to which I just had this conversation with Mark , a fellow blogger), why is it that there are people who work 12 hr shifts 8 days a week, while some wealthy guy sits back and collects inherited millions? Hard work. What is hard work? There are some people who have quit school and gone to work making more than the person who went to college for over 4 years with the desired career of choice. It's not about "fairness" -- it's all about our choices. We make our choice and yes, you can say, "Well I didn't choose to be poor, no one will hire me!" And of course, the wealthy man collecting inheritance money could say, "Well I didn't choose this either, but I'm sure as ...

"Well it can't be all that bad since you've gone out a couple of times this week," she texted, while trying to prove a point that I was miraculously and emotionally healed just by going out for a bite to eat (and drink) with either my mom or my wife at the local bar and grill. Did she just expect me to sit home and cry for another six months or so? Would that prove to her that my love for my father was genuine? My friend was very angry, bitter and very sad over a few things. She's going through a horrible divorce after an abusive marriage and her dog just got hit by a car and didn't make it. She is self-medicating heavily, and dangerously I might add. She continued on with her rant... "I've been drinking and popping xanax from morning till night not getting out of bed for nearly a week because of my sadness between my divorce and my dog. My dog wasn't just a pet, he was my world." My response was, "I'm so sorry you're feeling...

Maybe it’s because the holidays are over, or maybe it’s because it’s getting bitterly cold out there (as January should be), or maybe people are suffocating from the lack of sun and not getting a sufficient amount vitamin D. Whatever the reason is, I’m noticing a lot of cranky little critters running amuck. I had to take a ride to the grocery store the other day to pick up a few things and the place was just swarming with people. I had to go into the aisle where they had the Progresso soups and wait on a line to just see what was available. There was an employee stocking more onto the shelves while some customers were grabbing what they wanted. One lady grabbed a can of soup, looked at it and then put it back down on a lower shelf. The employee looked at her with such intense rage and screamed, “What the hell are you doing lady? Can’t you see I’m stocking these and you’re placing them in the wrong sections!!!?? Now put that back in its right place! I’m sick and tired of customers not...

About a year ago, I had written a post, entitled, “ Don’t Cry ”. I was speaking about how when I used to cry over my heart being broken, my mom would come into my room and plead to me, “Don’t cry mama - don’t cry, please!” I know she wasn’t downgrading the emotional torture I was going through, it was just that it killed her to see me so sad. As I’ve written about my mom’s proverbs that she obtained from her prayer & meditation, she wrote down this one: “My heart cries, when your soul aches.” Within her prayer, this is what God had spoken to her. Isn’t that what God does - the same thing our parents try to do? God doesn’t want us to be sad - He wants us to be full of joy, but being human, that isn’t possible all the time, which is why we need Him so much. The same goes for our parents: they want us to be filled with joy 24/7. God, like our parents, want the best for us, and seeing us sad makes them sad. At the same time, God and our parents are stronger for us, when we’re ...

Is it me or does Christmas sometimes bring out the worst in people? While reading the newspaper, I stumbled upon an article that told a story about a 45 year old man who had no record or history of violence who recently just got a divorce and ended up killing and injuring people at his ex-wife's Christmas Eve party. Some of those people included children. When he first knocked on the door, and eight year old girl answered. He was dressed up as Santa Clause. He pulled out a handgun and shot her in the face and then moved on to the rest of the party. He then killed himself afterward over at his brother's house 25 miles away. Some people call this "insanity". Scientifically, yes it can be called insanity for the amount of rage that one can delve into. But personally, I do "believe" that it's pure evil---not in the general sense either. Many years ago and still in some countries, people would have called it "being possessed by the devil"....

W ere they mistakes or little blunders in life? Whatever you decide to label them, the one question remains: have you learned from it all? A lot of people, including myself have said words like, “I soooo regret doing that”, or “I wish I never met him/her!” As the old saying goes, we meet people for a reason, a season and for a lifetime. I truly believe God places people in our lives for a reason. Even if your experience was a not so pleasant one, there’s something to be learned from it all. I had a hard time thinking this way and tried to psychoanalyze why this person came into my life to only have disappeared or to have left a pile of crap behind for me to clean up. It still remains a mystery. If you can’t figure out the behaviors of some people – try figuring out your own behavior. When somebody comes crashing into my life like a hurricane and leaves in the same way, I try analyzing my own behavior and how I could have handled it better. Let’s face it – we always think we handled ...

Here I am at the same spot, drinking my double espresso latte without the muffin, because I’m not quite hungry. It’s crowded more than usual in the café and my tolerance for people is next to zero. I had to wait to get this tiny little table so I could write about nothing. Some overzealous buffoon on his Bluetooth bumped into me, making me almost lose my balance on the long line ahead of me, hoping his aggressiveness will get him further in line…or maybe further in life. I’m sure he’s single and has been for a very long time. The lady’s perfume in front of me was gagging me half to death and making my asthma kick in overtime. I was ready to hose her down with Poland Spring. I get to my little table and set everything up. The echoes of every wannabe executive in that café on their cell phones were making me nuts. I instantly got ADD. I tried to focus, but all I could manage to do was read the headlines on Yahoo News. My eyes were dry and foggy. I didn’t get a good night’s sleep. I’ve b...

Anger is a compelling feeling to which many take action upon. It nearly consumes you. The emotional reaction affects your verbal or physical response. It’s a negative emotion, to which a lot of people give into. In fact, a lot of studies show that people, who get angry often, usually are at greater risks for high blood pressure, stroke and heart disease. This emotion isn’t only dangerous for other people around you; it’s dangerous for you as well. I’m no stranger when it comes to popping my own cork. I tend to lash out with words, or sometimes, as my sisters will say, I have a “poison pen”. If one of my sisters upsets me in some way, I’ll send them a very powerful and angry email. These are first responses. I usually never wait for the second response, which is a calmer approach to it all. They always say to wait 24 hours before you respond to something while being angry. Don’t sin by letting anger gain control over you. Think about it overnight and remain silent. ~Psalm 4:4 It’s so h...

There’s a time in everyone’s life when his or her back says, “It’s time for a new bed!” Well, this is my time. Full of excitement and anticipating my new bed’s arrival, I hurried up to “wait”. Furniture guys are similar to the cable guys. They all give you that window frame of time that’s so ‘tentative’ that it makes you sick. “We’ll have our guys be there from 9-12 or 11-3pm.” “Which one will it be?” “Those are the time frames that we’re giving you.” “Well which time frame should I expect them?” “Between 9-12 or 11-3pm.” Does this make sense? Why don’t they just say 9-3? “Fine, so 9-3pm is my time frame.” “Okay.” The girl says, as if she didn’t give a rat’s ass about how long I would be waiting. The next day, (yesterday), I got up early and started cleaning up. Don’t ask me why I have to make the place immaculate, just so two big burly men can zoom in there knocking everything down anyway. I wanted to make it easy for them so they could get the hell out of there fast. It’s not like...