Showing posts from July, 2008

The Unknown

The unknown: it’s scary to some and yet exciting to others. Anything and everything can be the “unknown”. Whatever one is not used to or accustomed to in their daily lives, is the unknown. People either fear it or embrace it. There’s really no other way to go about it. There’s no gray area, although there are stages where a person has to adapt sometimes, and therein lies your exception: the learning process. I’m somewhat disappointed in the lesbian community. I say “lesbian community”, because the story I’m about to tell only has to do with lesbian women that I’ve come across regarding this particular topic. I’ve been doing a little research of my own on how accepting lesbians truly are to other people who are different than them. My end conclusions left me in disbelief. In the past, I’ve written before how I absolutely detest “lesbian support groups” or anything of that nature, due to the fact that they leave other groups out. Naturally, right? If it were a perfect world, we’d all

We're Getting Married---Legally!

In May of 1994, a woman named Madelene changed my entire life. She’s unlike any other woman I have ever met. Her love is unconditional and consistent; never changing and always giving the benefit of the doubt. I’ve always wondered why she stuck around so long, and always feel grateful that she did. We pulled through many tough times, but had much more good times above all. How did I get so lucky? She’s beautiful, smart and so caring. She comes from a close-knit family, which enhanced her ability to love people for who they are and care for others in a way that most people cannot. She treats my family as if they were her own. She calls my mother, “mom” and my father “dad”. They love her. I love her. In a peaceful town in Massachusetts, I asked her to marry me and presented beautiful matching diamond rings. She almost fainted because she never thought I would surprise her like that. It was October 10th, 2005. We’re now planning our wedding at the same place on Oct 11th of this year (sin

Are We Selfish?

A very good blogger friend who goes by Neers , brought up an interesting thought: are we all selfish from the result of being human? She writes, ”… it IS indeed about people and not a subset of people ... it used to baffle me, how people kill/rape other people (doesn’t it even HURT to see someone on the screen being hurt??) and then i reached theory -- everyone is a part of god, but then, since there are lots n lots of us (mankind) ... god got divided into so many parts ... now if it was just any of his other creations ... it would have been easier .. like animals, who only prey on what is necessary ... to maintain the food chain, balance ... but the chemicals inside the things called human brains ... makes him prey, esp when it's un-necessary (there are some in number of lines, I have on that) and hence, the mankind has lost the specialty of being a man ... a favored child... 1. Because there are just too many of the original good thing. 2. And also because we let ourselves believ

The Lack of Spirit in Religion

As Christians, we’re taught at a very young age how to be a “good person”. We’re taught not to be “bad” and the consequences of bad behavior. What “religion” defines as “bad” can have various meanings. First of all, “the spirit of religion” is a total contradiction. To me, religion has no spirit. It’s rigid teachings of what people expect others to do, in the name of God. They don’t go by the spirit of God; they go by what they were taught as a child. It becomes robotic and redundant. There’s no “life” in their teachings. Many people are turned off by what religion has taught them. They’re scared and terrified of being human, which results in eventually drawing away from God out of pure fear. In my beliefs as a Christian, God brought His only Son down to earth to experience what it means to be human and to save all sinners – which means – all people. He suffered just like us, He was tempted just like us, and he knew what it meant to be oppressed and hated …just like us. People, who


This morning was different. It wasn’t my typical, get up, open email, drink my coffee and scarf down whatever’s left in my fridge since I tend to do the groceries on Saturday afternoons, which means: zero food content in the icebox. With my meager piece of toast and a huge cup of high-test java, I opened an email from a very angry lesbian who had a few things to say about my content in this ol’ blog of mine. Her complaint is that I cater more to the heterosexuals, because more straight readers are on my blog than gay or lesbian. She has also complained about my book and how it needed to focus more on the LGBT community instead of "generalizing" relationships, which meant: including heterosexual matters. Let me respond to her email the best and tactful way I can… Dear “Lezlie”, Thank you for reading my blog. I’m all about “people”---whether straight, gay, transgender, bi-sexual, a-sexual, black or white or with a different religion - I love the fact that I can relate to all

A Male Version of My Girlfriend

If you are in the office or somewhere "reserved", please turn the volume down a bit. (Minor profanity.) This video was sent to me by a friend and I could not stop laughing. This is what I have to live with every single night of my life! (Minus the bunk beds of course.) (Love you Madelene!)

The Underlying Truth: Love

There are fierce demons lurking inside all of us. As humans, we're familiar with their names: love, hate, passion, lust, emotional and physical pain as well as the aches of self-loathing. From time to time, these demons may rear their ugly heads and make us literally insane. Whatever the triggers are, we must acknowledge that it’s temporary. ... Or is it? There’s a fine line between love and hate. There are cases where you love someone so much, but when they constantly hurt and torture you, (either emotionally or physically) those feelings of love can turn into hate. On the flipside, you can detest somebody so much that you end up falling completely in love with them. It’s an oddity, but nevertheless, it’s out there. In cases such as a divorce or breakup, you can find yourself omitting factitious behaviors to deter your ex from finding out the underlying truth of your real feelings: complete love. This is always the case: the brain says no, no, no, but the heart says yes yes ye

Tripping Out of the Closet

As a child growing up into the beginning of my teen years, I found myself being attracted to my girlfriends more than I should have been. It wasn’t normal. I kept it a secret for a long time, not saying a word to anyone. If one of my crushes started dating a boy, my heart broke. It was absolute torture having crushes that could never be revealed. I stood on the sidelines waiting for those short-term teenaged relationships to end. It always did. I bided my time, and when my friend needed someone to cry to, I was always more than willing to pick up the pieces. I wanted to be the one they dated. I didn’t only want to be “the friend” that they turned to; I wanted to be their girlfriend …their partner. My mother says she always knew, but I don’t think she had a clue back then. There was one particular day after school when she caught me “playing house” with a girlfriend of mine. She walked in on the “husband and wife” kissing. I always played the husband and my friend always played the wife

Crashing Through the Barriers

“If you say a bad word again Debbie, the devil will come crashing out of the floor and drag you down to Hell with him!” This is what I heard from my parents and sisters while growing up in order to keep me in line. It was embedded in my brain that if I were to curse, the horns of the devil would come crashing up through the hard wood floors and suck me into a fiery pit of hell. It scared me to death. I was taught to say “please” and “thank you”, with each social interaction. I was taught to be polite and courteous. Their fear tactics pushed me in a better direction as far as my manners went. Of course, during my teen years, I realized that some curse words were inaudible to the devil. He never came crashing through the floors to grab me, nor did I ever see his horns coming through the plywood. Maybe this “devil theory” is just the same as the Santa Clause lie. Who knew? I didn’t know the truth anymore. The evening I recognized dad through the funny Santa Clause suit that didn’t fit h