Living Proof

When we hear or read the words "mental health," there seems to be a stigma attached to it, regardless if you are suffering or not. Anxiety, depression, PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) or even bipolar disorder, which used to be called, "manic depression"' back in the day are all common things people suffer with. We hear or read these words and then begin to think negative associations with it. Movies and TV shows may warp your definition of what mental illness can be like. Some are severe, while others are less severe--regardless, it is a struggle for many people. Back in the 70's and 80's---you rarely heard the word "anxiety" or "panic attack." The word "phobia" was commonly used, as well as "fear." If someone was agoraphobic, experiencing panic attacks on a daily basis back in the 70's and 80's where they can no longer function in life, it was known as having a "nervous breakdown." Seeing...

Have you ever been so riddled with anxiety, that you can barely decide on what to do next, whether it be a new project, first tasks at work or just picking a hobby on a Saturday afternoon? Even the most simplest things seem so incredibly complicated. I guess one of the signs of depression is indecisiveness and the inability to focus or finish a task. I've learned from experience that after an anxiety attack, I slip into a strange fatigue-like state, and I am assuming that's the depression part of it all. I'm not "sad" per se -- I'm just blah and I find myself pulling back from the world. Sometimes my friends think that I'm upset with them or that I no longer want to spend time with them. But it's so far from the truth. My mind can only handle very little interaction at that time. But it does pass. This is what keeps me sane. Some episodes last longer than others. The one thing that I have learned is: it's OK to have your down moments and become a...

On a few occasions, Dad would chitchat about his faith on 'the other side' and how he believed that there was definitely something out there. He never went into specifics, like talk about Jesus or the trinity-based beliefs, but more so from an agnostic viewpoint. My mother always had complete faith in Jesus and Catholicism. It was an interesting mix of beliefs. Dad would talk about his experience seeing his deceased friend as a ghost in between drags of his cigarette. "You kiddin' me? There hasta' be something out dare'. I saw Bobby walk right up to me while I was working -- you wouldn't believe it, Deb!" His friend died while inspecting a house that he was going to flip for a profit. The structure was very unstable and collapsed right on top of him. He was only in his mid-thirties. His son who was around my age saw the entire thing when he was around 8 years old. He was traumatized beyond belief, as only you can imagine. It was a tragic loss for his...

If I had to say one thing about my friends, I would definitely consider them to be my chosen family. When I bring someone into my life -- or better yet -- when someone chooses to spend their time with me, I never take it for granted. Just like a relationship, I always try to seek out a lifetime friend. Of course you're either going to get 'for a reason, a season or a lifetime' -- and that's okay. People that come into our lives are meant to either teach us a lesson, to help us in times of trouble or to simply make you laugh and smile for however long. And as we grow older, that whole "BFF" thing sort of takes a left turn to Albuquerque. It's okay to have that once a month friend (and no I'm not referring to Flo), and it's okay to pick up where you left off after 6 months of not seeing one another. I have friends that I haven't seen in almost a year, where I can talk to them this very minute and it feels like just yesterday. That's what I...

If you ask anyone if they're stressed out, the answer is going to most likely be one big "YES". If they aren't, I want what they're having. Aside from that, while I was heavily into the Paleo diet, trying to lose weight and boost my immunity, it's not all about the food you eat in order to keep you healthy -- it's about getting a good night's sleep and eliminating unnecessary stressors from your life. I mean -- how on earth are we supposed to dodge every stress bullet that comes flying our way? It's impossible sometimes. I remember an old co-worker of mine used to tell all the time, "Save it for the big stuff, Deb. Trust me." I was only 23 years old and stressing out as if I had 12 kids and an abusive husband. I had none of that. I stressed over every single little detail of my life. At the age of 40, I still fret over -- well, mostly anything sometimes. I tell my mom I get it from her. Although she is quite the worry wart, she doesn...

For the longest time, I've been suffering with anxiety attacks or just 'fear' in general. I guess you can call them "phobias" and whatnot, but it definitely debilitates my life on certain days. Some days are good and some days are bad. Therapists are good, but they can only help so much. They can give advice (which they hardly do) or they can sit there and listen to you while the sounds of the 'tic-toc-tic-toc' morphs into one big 'cha-ching'. They say (whoever "they" are), that just by someone else listening to you is helpful. Well, I disagree to a point. I can go to the bar with a girlfriend and rant all I want. Now that helps. I'm disgusted with the cost of therapy. Do they deserve that money? Some definitely deserve it, but others, like the ones that I have come across should be ashamed of themselves for just sitting there like a zombie pretending to remember what was told to them while writing it all down just to remember your ...

We all want to be understood, heard, related to and even helped in some form or another. We also don't want to be bothered from 'whomever'. There are people that you can trust, those who are always there for you like concrete stone under your feet, and others who seem to undermine your entire being. Some mean well, while others don't. The worst type of help when you are in your darkest moments are from those who have never been through what you are going through. For instance, a psychotherapist may tick some people off, because they seem to have this 'perfect little life' in their 'perfect little quaint office' and their degrees from various schools hanging on their wall screaming, "I'm successful!!!" They possess an overwhelming knowledge of textbook psychology. It's pure bullshit in my opinion. They are trained to understand. They push pills to make it all better and yet, they never actually dig into what's really bothering th...

The hypochondriac was a regular in the emergency room -- so much so that when he didn't show up for a week, the staff took notice of his absence. He finally did show up again, and one doctor said, "Long time, no see. Where have you been?" "Sorry I couldn't make it in," the hypochondriac said. "I was feeling sick." There are some people in my life who think all my medical issues, ailments and whatnot are ‘all in the head’ - that I’m a hypochondriac, and although that may very well be true, I still plan on engraving, “I TOLD YOU I WAS SICK” on my tombstone. For instance, one night I had chest pains. It felt like what everyone described it as: an elephant sitting on your chest. Then, the pain radiated down from my jaw (a known symptom) and straight down into my left arm. Of course this all seems to happen at midnight and Madelene hops into her jeans and carts me off to the ER. Being in a constant state of hypochondriacal alertness, needless to say ...

Usually, when somebody has a panic attack, they know where it comes from. Most of the time, they know what initially triggered it.  For someone with anxiety disorder, the response you will usually hear would be, “It just came on out of nowhere.” When you delve deeper, there is usually a trigger inside, hiding for dear life. I have been diagnosed with “anxiety disorder” since I was 16 years old. I have also been diagnosed for PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder). Some mornings, usually mid-morning after having coffee and overanalyzing my life into shreds and pieces, I’ll experience an anxiety attack. My wife will ask, “Well what triggered it? Are you upset? Are you thinking about something?” “No...It just came on all of the sudden.” Days later when I look back on the entire situation, possibly after an emergency room visit for chest pains, I’ll remember what had happened the day before. Did I just block it out, or did I simply shove everything into the “anxiety disorder...