Living Proof

The one thing I have learned over the past decade or so is that you cannot change people. You can only change yourself and the way you perceive an issue or situation that you may not care for. I can't tell you how many times I have seen people complain about their own significant others on Facebook (which is so tactless) again and again and again, to where I think, "Then why stay with them if you're so unhappy?" I wish I had a set of balls to type my thoughts in the comment section, but it's really none of my business...or is it, if they're making it a public issue? No relationship or marriage is perfect. We have to love (even grudgingly) the idiosyncrasies and uniqueness of who we are with - who we chose to have as our life partners. If you complain about a certain issue on and on and on, then why not change how you see it? Obviously, if it hasn't changed then, it's certainly not going to change now or anytime soon. We all have options. #1. Leave. ...

Sometimes I look over at my dog and wonder what she's thinking. Does she even think at all? Does she have a thought process? Is she plotting against the squirrel out on the lawn? When it rains, she looks melancholy -  as if she's wishing her sunny days back, lying in some random sunbeam. Occasionally, she'll run up and jump on me, indicating she wants something. I have to walk and follow her in order to know what she needs. If she heads to the kitchen, she wants a treat. If she heads near the door, she needs to go out. Sometimes, it could be that she just wants to cuddle on the couch, so she'll pull my pant leg and steer me over to the sofa. Our communication isn't the best, we mess up and well, I have to clean up the occasional 'mess', but overall, it's pretty damn good. But this isn't about my dog, oddly enough. Have you ever wondered what someone in your life was thinking? It amazes me we have this precise language that we can tell others exactl...

If there is one thing I have learned in all of my, umm, 29 years is this: never expect anything from anyone. I don't mean to think less of someone else's abilities to do something for you, but never expect what may seem "appropriate" or what someone "should do" ---- they're not you. They can't read minds and if you don't tell them what you need, they may never know. "Well, he/she should know." --Not acceptable. People have these high expectations for others, which sometimes can be seen as unreachable or unobtainable, and it's not fair because that one person being mentally battered hasn't got a clue of what's brewing. For instance, and this one is not a huge deal, but my dad had a long time friend for years who had stopped calling once he passed away. Mom piped in, "Well he should have called by now."  But if you look at it in a different view, maybe he's taking it much harder than we realize. Granted, yes,...

This morning I woke up, rolled out of bed and made my way to grab a cup of coffee. Mad wakes up before I do, so while she is in the shower, I'll make her breakfast. We have a little routine. Afterwards, we sit, watch the news together and talk about whatever is happening or even look at stuff on the computer --together. This morning I found a little note left on the coffee maker just to let me know I was her 'everything'. Although she may have wanted a lumberjack type of breakfast, it was something my heart really needed today. We never run out of things to talk about - we're like two hens yappin' & yappin' about this-n-that. One morning, while vacationing in Provincetown, we went to the dining area of the bed & breakfast we were staying at. It was Women's Week, and needless to say the entire greenhouse-like dining room was filled with coupled up women. It was strange though, we were the only couple chitchatting and laughing. We looked around and w...

Reflections of self-loathing or insecurity issues: Why do we blame the people in our lives for what others have done to us in the past? And, not necessarily for the same thing, but by the simple action of transferring ‘unfinished business’, or anger toward someone we’re associating with or dating. I’ve done it, I do it and I may do it again. We have a lot of mistrust, and rightfully so at times. We’ve been burned, we’ve been heartbroken and we’ve been disappointed countless times. You’re nodding... We’ve also put high expectations upon people. High expectations = disappointment. I’ve also found that people who genuinely don’t like themselves very much, are the very people who think everyone is out to get them, or either dislike them for some reason or another. If you come across a person who doesn’t like themselves very much, you’ll immediately think that they don’t like you just by their behavior. They can’t. Just as that expression says, “If you can’t love yourself, how the hell you...

T here are many people in my life that read me incorrectly. They take what I say and turn it into something totally opposite of what is meant to be heard in a positive tone. Then I think, well what if I’m saying it in a different tone? What if my words on “paper” are coming out wrong? What if my emails and blog posts are being misconstrued? Text can be misleading if taken the wrong way. You don’t hear the “tone” of the words that are being typed out. My words can be delicate yet distrait when writing an email to a friend or loved one. Even while blogging, I can definitely come across as politically incorrect or insensitive while discussing an issue that may come across as “offensive”. I've also found myself writing or talking much faster than my actual thought process. This could be a bad thing… Sometimes I don’t think when I speak or write, which may cause a lot of confusion for many people I communicate with. I’m working on it. Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get ...