Living Proof

Isn't it fascinating how some people can tear you apart over on social media (keyboard warriors) but in real life, they wouldn't dare confront you? Even if I'm debating with someone online, I try to take a respectable approach, a nicer approach, because it's the adult thing to do. It's what I want to do. I want to treat you with respect, and hear you out, but also be allowed to give you my opinion as well. But what happens when you're verbally attacked and insulted for say, tweeting out an opinion? Would that same person be willing to say that face-to-face? I could not even make this up, but a woman named, Karen----go ahead and laugh it out----seemed to be upset when I replied to a tweet that said, "People recovering from COVID-19 may suffer from significant brain function impacts, with the worst cases of the infection linked to mental decline equivalent to the brain aging by 10 years, researchers warn."    So I responded... Karen decided to chime in,

 "Do you need a hug?" Madelene asked, before she was heading off to work. I was crying into my coffee, reading a scripture that said something along the lines of, "God can giveth and God can taketh - and to be prepared for anything God takes from you." My heart felt incredibly heavy, thinking---"How could I possibly go through another loss? Not now, not ever, please." I kept thinking about the loss of my dad, my mama, the house, to the pandemic, the isolation, my freedom, and the ability to do everyday normal things. But, then Madelene pointed something out to me. She said, "You may be interpreting that incorrectly." I didn't understand. But she explained that it may just be God removing an obstacle--or even my anxiety or something that's unpleasant in my life---hopefully the pandemic itself. Then again she asked, "Do you need a hug?" I gave her a big ol' bear hug, possibly crushing her collarbone, but it's all good. It

This may be an unpopular opinion, so bear with me. I'm trying to share my thoughts and experiences with you on why I disagree with the 12 step program. About 12 years ago, I attended my first AA meeting because I wanted to do a 90 day clean out. Yes, you can attend meetings if you are doing this. Will you be completely embraced by the members? From my experience---no. Also, the only requirement of AA is if you have the desire to stop drinking. I remember feeling so isolated from the group as they spoke about their stories. Many eyes shifted my way, judging or guessing what my poison was. The other unnerving experience in this was seeing faces that I recognized. That's the risk you take going to a local meeting....note taken! But in a way, it was sort of comforting to see some of my old friends in there, and even some who I used to party with. Odd, yet familiar. I was never the type of drinker where I had to wake up and chug down the good ol' 'hair of the dog' in ord

My heart's been feeling heavy lately, and I'm not sure why. I mean, I can list off a ton of heartbreaking stories, but none of it is sticking out right now. I just have the 'blahs' but yet, I'm okay. Last night, I sat in my little prayer room upstairs, lit some candles and was going to just pray and tell God everything. But nothing came out of my mouth. I even tried to muster stuff up in my mind---things I wanted to get off my chest, but nothing came out. Nothing was standing out in my mind. There were all frivolous types of thoughts going on: "Make sure to prep for my virtual meeting 1pm---Did I check my bank account to see if that fraudulent charge was cleared---Will our town shutdown again---What if I get sick again---What if, what if, what if...." I kept hearing in my heart, "Tell me everything."  Nothing but unimportant things were surfacing, and I felt something deep inside tugging at me---giving me interrupted sleep for the past couple of

What a long year for all of us. As we approach the fall season, we're also may be facing another lockdown here in New York, thanks to a couple of communities who made that possible. But it's much more than playing the "blame game" because thousands congregated in a venue without masks or social distancing (whatever you believe)---it's about control, it's about the elections, it's about corruption. So we citizens have to take the short end of the stick (closing our businesses, losing our homes, apartments and jobs) and just hope for the best. As our anxiety starts rising once again, so does our alcohol intake. Well, for some of us---it's incorrect to say "our" or "we" when some people have self control. I'm just going to start off by saying "me" and "I" with this one. "I" found out the hard way why my heart rate was out of control. I found out why I was up all night, wondering why I couldn't slee