Living Proof

Some people believe that forgiveness is just a verbal confirmation of "we're okay"---"we're good," until later down the road, the offense has been brought up again by the person who was hurt. Most likely, the person who holds all the resentment and bitterness will usually regurgitate the offense over and over throughout the relationship. They truly believe they have forgiven that person, yet they keep reminding them about what they've done in the past. That's not forgiveness. Remember the saying, "forgive and forget?" The forgetting part is hard, I know---but the concept of "forgetting" is about never bringing up the one thing that hurt you to the person who begged for forgiveness. See, when we bring up the offense, that's bitterness coming out. Imagine eating something bitter. That's the face you'll make when you bring up a past offense. Think about it. Truth is, you'll probably never forget that 'offens...

When we hear or read the words "mental health," there seems to be a stigma attached to it, regardless if you are suffering or not. Anxiety, depression, PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) or even bipolar disorder, which used to be called, "manic depression"' back in the day are all common things people suffer with. We hear or read these words and then begin to think negative associations with it. Movies and TV shows may warp your definition of what mental illness can be like. Some are severe, while others are less severe--regardless, it is a struggle for many people. Back in the 70's and 80's---you rarely heard the word "anxiety" or "panic attack." The word "phobia" was commonly used, as well as "fear." If someone was agoraphobic, experiencing panic attacks on a daily basis back in the 70's and 80's where they can no longer function in life, it was known as having a "nervous breakdown." Seeing...

If we're all striving to be a better person than we were yesterday, then what if yesterday was one of our best days? All of these redundant cliches, platitudes and inspirational quotes told by other people tend to make you feel all warm and fuzzy, but isn't it just a temporary fix to just say, "You're life is messed up, so just get your shit together." Due to my line of work, I network with a bunch of online marketing entrepreneurs, life coaches and seminar gurus -- the kind where you'll most likely never see them having a bad day -- kinda like my chihuahua -- all piss 'n vinegar and revvin' to go to new and exciting places. Words like, "journey", "goals", "achievement" and "success" are all used in order to make you feel as though you don't have those right now, so by listening to people rattle off these highly motivating words will somehow make you wanna jump right out of your chair and do something BIG...

If I had to say one thing about my friends, I would definitely consider them to be my chosen family. When I bring someone into my life -- or better yet -- when someone chooses to spend their time with me, I never take it for granted. Just like a relationship, I always try to seek out a lifetime friend. Of course you're either going to get 'for a reason, a season or a lifetime' -- and that's okay. People that come into our lives are meant to either teach us a lesson, to help us in times of trouble or to simply make you laugh and smile for however long. And as we grow older, that whole "BFF" thing sort of takes a left turn to Albuquerque. It's okay to have that once a month friend (and no I'm not referring to Flo), and it's okay to pick up where you left off after 6 months of not seeing one another. I have friends that I haven't seen in almost a year, where I can talk to them this very minute and it feels like just yesterday. That's what I...

I'm sitting here listening to the rain, trying to finish up a chapter from my book. Hopefully it'll be out before winter hits us. I've been thinking a lot. And by a lot, I mean obsessively thinking to the point of insomnia. I'm very sad, but I know that sometimes it's necessary to just drop people from your life without any sort of explanation whatsoever. Most of the time, it's because we're old enough to know what we don't want in our lives, and that the person who is filling up your love tank with a bunch of toxic waste should learn the hard way of why they're being dropped. An explanation would just conjure up a negative response. As I have learned, silence is the best communicator when distancing yourself from negative people. As I always say, "Just pretend I'm dead," and that's that. You don't have to give an explanation of why you died, because you're simply not there any longer. While pushing up daisies, they can f...

You could have everything in the world you can possibly want: a nice car, good looks, wealth, education and anything else you would desire. The one thing it doesn't guarantee is happiness, contentment, a healthy mind…peace. Sometimes I wonder about some people I come across who seemingly "have it all" - but then think, just by their attitude toward life and people in general, they're not at peace at all. When I look at the videos of Elliot Rodger, here you see this handsome young man, going to college, has a gorgeous BMW and somehow, somewhere, something's lacking. You can hear it - you can feel it - you can sense that something is a bit 'off'. When I first saw his face, I said, "He killed all those kids?" He's gorgeous and probably comes from a well-to-do family. But why would this guy have any problems with girls? Why would girls reject this gorgeous kid? Didn't he have it all? And then I listened. I observed. He's 'off...