Showing posts from April, 2006

Just a Note...

I'll be away for a few days...I'll be back soon!

The Cobbler, the Banker, the Candlestick Maker

Every Thursday morning I usually have to scurry over to the bank to cash a few checks and get to the dry cleaners so that I can have everything ready by the weekend. I really shouldn’t be telling the whole world my routine---because that’s a stalker’s dream. The next thing you know, I’ll see Mikey driving behind me on my way to the bank with his oversized wood paneled station wagon waiting to pounce on his prey. (That’s if his car makes it all the way to New York…) Don’t let Kathi fool you either. She’ll be the one driving in a huge Ford pick up truck with a bunch of lawn mowers in the back waiting in the parking lot for me to come out of the drive-thru, so she can make her move. ( I hope I can at least convince her to mow my lawn for the love of God…) It’ll be well worth being the stalked victim. As I pull up to the bank’s drive-thru, I notice a young boy greets me at the window. He was probably around twenty-two years old, tall, lanky with dark hair. He looked like one of those, ‘I’

A Couple of 'Joes'

Let me just take you a few days back when I had that get together at my house. You all saw the embarrassing photos, but what you didn’t see was my trip to the store getting the goods. I thought it was going to be easy—a beer & soda store and a deli that makes homemade Italian goods. Bam! Done. As soon as I headed out the door, my dear sister Carla and my three year old niece hop into my SUV to take a ride with me. Great. Now I have precious cargo. No problem, I could use some company anyway. We head off to the store and I rush in like a lunatic looking for a few specific beers so I can cater to everyone with different tastes. This beer and soda place looks like a fricken garage—no lie. I went into the desired aisle and tried to squeeze out a case of Heineken. “Well well well! You need help with that young lady?” A nice looking man said to me behind the cold glass door that I still had swung open. “Why do I look that weak?” I asked, joking around with him. “Well, I’m just offering

I'm Totally Fried

It’s true—I’ve been a vedy’ vedy’ bad blogger. I’ve been absolutely exhausted of taking in anything mentally. I can’t think. I can’t read. I can’t do anything that requires me to just be human. I’ve also been a vedy’ vedy’ bad person with my eating habits. My choice of foods lately has been quite alarming. Didn’t I just post about eating healthier a few days ago? Hmm. Since my girlfriend has been off these past couple of days, we went shopping at the mall, and then of course ventured out to meet a couple of our friends for happy hour at Cheeseburger in Paradise . Jimmy Buffett owns this franchise. Not sure if you all have that chain around your area—but it’s a great place with a menu of drinks. No —really— a menu of different types of cocktails you can order. It’s like a ten page book of drinks. (I can hear angels singing now) Madelene (my girlfriend) and I got there first and parked our rears on the stools. They gave me a huge 22 ounce of beer, and Madelene got a Mojito. Our fri

A Starry Night Passion

Carrying out your lifelong dreams and doing what you love is quite difficult for some people to do if they don’t have the time or money put aside to tackle their desired projects. Some of us ‘do what we know’ for a good paycheck—and that’s fine. We all have to make ends meet. Natalia’s post inspired me to write something along these lines. Her post today really sparked something in me that’s been brewing for quite some time. From struggling with school to hopping from one career to the next, my path for ‘success’ determined what job I landed. I hated most of my jobs, and tolerated others. I had to make money and have good benefits. This is what was told to me. This was reality; this was life. You need to survive. I can’t just sit here and paint, draw, sketch, play guitar and write all day…can I? I had to be jammed up in a cubical taking calls from nasty customers complaining about a .03 cent increase in their phone surcharge. Anxiety attacks and depression plagued my mind and numer

AA Meeting Held At Deb's House

Anyone knows, when Deb is with camera, things get tossed into my blog of course. From embarrassing photos to taking shots of random things just to make a point. (And no, I am so done with that previous post guys—don’t bring it up again…) Anyway, I usually like to embarrass my friends —not myself. Of course I’m going to embarrass them, but this time, I’m going to put up embarrassing pictures up of me. Remember, when alcohol is involved when taking pictures, things get a wee bit interesting. This was a spontaneous little gathering I had at my house. We had a little guitar playing & singing—by Alyssa who plays for The September Dogs . She was amazing as usual, and her voice is comparable to Janice Joplin, Joss Stone, and Melissa Etheridge. Yeah yeah, I said Melissa Etheridge —we’re all lesbos. Can’t have a party without the stereotypical terms, right? …Right. So now I present to you...Deb's embarrassing photos that will soon be regretted or deleted soon afterwards. Naw...I nev

Making a "Point"

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not this uptight wench who gets her shorts in a bunch every single time there’s a sexual innuendo made—however yesterday was ridiculous. It was a phallic-filled jam packed day of ‘let’s see how Deb reacts to another penis joke’! Okay, okay, I’ll label myself as a “lesbian”, because I am with a girl. Not because I would never date a man in the future, if my girlfriend kicks my sorry ass to the curb. It’s just that everyone knows I have been dating someone for about twelve years now, and they automatically love to test my resistance to the one thing I haven’t seen…in quite some time now. Well it first started out calmly. (Or did it?) It started with JP . He came over to comment on my blog, and well, I peeked at his blog—which may I say was quite impressed with his huge... template. Eh-hem, anyway, as I was reading his post, down below was a photo. Oh yeah—it was “him”. ... HULLO! No, I didn’t click out of it right away due to my good Christian-nature or my lesbi

She Won't Sing For Me

The media will do anything to twist your words around to make it appear as if you said something outlandish; when in fact—it could have been the total opposite. So who really knows ‘what’s true’? On American Idol, the contestant Mandisa, a 29 year old soul singer got booted off the show. In my own opinion, it was because she ‘went country’, when in fact, ‘soul’ was her thing. I voted for her constantly! I hit that redial button about a trillion times until I got through. I wanted her to win---because she had the biggest set of…pipes. An article in “ The Queery ” spoke on how Mandisa said she wasn’t an advocate for the gay & lesbian community. Mandisa was quoted in The Advocate Magazine in an interview, “Based on what I believe, I'm not an advocate for (being gay), so it's nothing I would take part in.'' People speculated that this was the main reason why she didn’t receive many votes. She’s a Christian who believes that homosexuality is wrong. She wasn’t gay bashing

Angry Lesbians Strike Again

Yet I have encountered another case of the unrealistic views and opinions which many lesbians have. It’s disappointing to me that I come across this a lot. Don’t get me wrong, I love receiving emails from different people from all walks of life; but this one had its taste of bitterness in it. A woman we’ll call “Nicki” writes me yesterday. She explained to me she was a butch (a lesbian with manly features…just in case some were wondering what ‘label’ that was) and criticized me for being ‘too feminine’. I’m not sure if this was the previous ‘anonymous’ commenter a few weeks back who basically ridiculed me for appearing as ‘bi-sexual’; but all this labeling has me exhausted. Must I be labeled in order to be a ‘real lesbian’? I never fitted in with the lesbian crowd ---ever. They always saw me as an outsider; possibly an impersonator. Have I dated men before my relationship with my partner? Yes. My partner was even married to a man at one time in her life. My whole being is focused on

Not Just For the Gay & Lesbian Community

Fort the longest time, I have been telling my friends, family and other people about the book I wrote. I explained that it mainly dealt with the gay community and how to cope with the issues pertaining to religion, spirituality vs. the homosexual lifestyle. Of course, I use biblical scriptures to back up my theory on why I believe God loves all of us unconditionally; why He knows every single person living on this earth struggles with living in the physical nature. Everyone falls short. Well, I got feedback on my book from everyone who read it. (Friends & family mostly) They asked me, “Why did you list it mainly for the gay & lesbian community when this book actually helped me?” They claimed that the gay and lesbian issues were very little and that the book applies to everyone really. I was kind of taken back and really thought about it. It does have a lot to do with everyone’s issues. I was trying to focus on the gay and lesbian community, so that they wouldn’t be afraid t

The Resurrection

It's every day I'm in this place I feel this way I feel the same It's every day I'm in this place I feel this way I feel the same Is it all inside my head? Is it all inside my head? I'll view the list And take my pick I'll view my faith And make a choice 'Cause it's nobody else's but mine... But you are in my heart I can feel your beat And you move my mind Fom behind the wheel When I lose control I can only breathe your name... I can only breathe your name... So many days within this race I need the truth I need some grace I need the path To find my place I need some truth I need some grace The part of you That's part of me Will never die Will never leave And it's nobody else's but mine... You are in my heart I can feel your beat And you move my mind From behind the wheel When I lose control I can only breathe your name... I can only breathe your name... You'll view the list And take your pick You'll view my faith And make the cho

Thank "GOD" It's Friday!

And I do thank God it’s Friday. If it weren’t for God giving up His only son on this day, my sins would have never been forgiven. This morning while I was praying, I realized that I was caught up with a few addictions. For the longest time I didn’t consider my daily routines and other little things to be called ‘addictions’; but they are. Sometimes I go into this denial phase and ignore what’s really going on, when in fact, it’s totally taking over my life. “Oh this? It’s normal…” I say to myself. It’s small enough to be intriguing or interesting--whatever it is, until it becomes a larger problem later on. Let me put aside my own addictions. (Not that I have a problem with alcohol, sex, over indulgence with good food and spending too much money that I don’t have.) Eh hem! ... Let me get into why I think it’s important to have God come into my life and ‘take control’ instead. Instead of obsessing over things that make the average human happy in this world, I’ve asked God to tak

Suggestive Behavioral Tips For Work and Play

At my old place of work, we used to have these seminars that would help you increase your sales and keep up with positive morale while working in a stressful environment. For the most part it was mostly entertaining. The two people who directed the seminars were funny, witty and had great advice for techniques they used to increase profit. They made a boring subject interesting for a lack of better words. Not only did these seminars help me with my sales and with my job overall, but it helped me in my everyday life; how to communicate better with people. They demonstrated the human behavior and what people ‘want to hear’, as opposed to what they hear everyday. Give them a whole other aspect of what’s approaching them—whether you’re in sales or any other type of position. Well, I applied this to my everyday life… not just my job. One of the many things that stick out of my mind was the topic of ‘open probe questioning’. Basically, it’s asking a question leaving that person to explain

Glad I'm Not in Her Shoes

You have to be kidding. You place Starbuck’s coffee shops in grocery stores and huge department stores near the entrance, and you expect people not to grab a coffee as they shop? “No food or beverage allowed in store.” Says your sign. What the? I mean, come on. How are these people supposed to make money? It’s like a tease---all these delicious coffees and other little treats available for the taking, without the permission to take it. It seems like a total oxymoron to me. Yesterday was a fun-filled day of shopping. Who am I kidding? It was completely exhausting. The mall was packed with angry shoppers and whiney little kids screaming, “Mommy mommy, I want this! Mommy mommy buy this for me!” Wait…I think that was me. Yes, I brought mom with us. She had to return the toaster that I bought her for Christmas. She’s been wanting to do this since Christmas day. My girlfriend and I make a pit stop at Target to return the toaster. They exchange it with no problem—and no receipt. I thought,

Confucius de Jour

Confucius Say: When you awaken tomorrow, solutions to your problems will become clear. That’s exactly what it said in my fortune cookie. I even put the little tiny piece of paper under my pillow. I woke up at around 9 am and was fooled. Everything was still foggy. I went to open the blinds, and to my surprise, the sun was out and it was a crystal clear day. It looked so warm and inviting. I went to step outside on my deck to take in the air. As soon as I opened the sliding glass door, a cold frigid wind practically engulfed me with its bitter bite. I closed the door immediately and turned up the heat. Sometimes things aren’t what they appear to be. I wonder if that concept sort of explains my nature. Am I who you think I am? Or am I who I want you to think I am? Some people conjure up a total different picture of what someone may be like. Have you ever come across someone talking about a celebrity as if they knew them in person? It amazes me how often all of us assume what a person is

Taken Seriously

Here we go. A bit of resentment from Deb---and then she will resume to a normal life after posting this. (Yeah right) People who know me personally, like my friends and family will probably be a little ticked off or concerned. Don’t read the blog, and you won’t get ticked off. Don’t show your friends or coworkers the blog unless you have read a variety of my writings, because each post is very different from another. I can be talking about Christianity one day, dog attacks and bad date stories from the past, to sex and lesbianism on the next post. So don’t get your shorts in a bunch if I happen to post something that makes you gasp and cringe. As I’ve mentioned before, my partner and I have been together for twelve years now. We had a little break in between due to some conflict—which is normal, but we’re very happy and I love her more than anything. Now, I have three older sisters who are all straight. Two of my sisters are married and one of my sisters lives with her boyfriend of eig