Yet I have encountered another case of the unrealistic views and opinions which many lesbians have. It’s disappointing to me that I come across this a lot. Don’t get me wrong, I love receiving emails from different people from all walks of life; but this one had its taste of bitterness in it.
A woman we’ll call “Nicki” writes me yesterday. She explained to me she was a butch (a lesbian with manly features…just in case some were wondering what ‘label’ that was) and criticized me for being ‘too feminine’. I’m not sure if this was the previous ‘anonymous’ commenter a few weeks back who basically ridiculed me for appearing as ‘bi-sexual’; but all this labeling has me exhausted. Must I be labeled in order to be a ‘real lesbian’?
I never fitted in with the lesbian crowd---ever. They always saw me as an outsider; possibly an impersonator. Have I dated men before my relationship with my partner? Yes. My partner was even married to a man at one time in her life. My whole being is focused on ‘who I love’---not ‘what gender I love’. That’s just me though. For some, they are forever labeled until the day they die. I can’t promise that. I have fallen in love with a man before, so to me, it’s hard to say that if Madelene (my girlfriend) and I were to ever break up, who’s to say that a man can’t sweep me off my feet? (Unless I gain a ton of weight—then that’s a different story all together!) We’ll just focus on the labeling part for now…
These ‘hardcore militant lesbians’ prance around intimidating women who appear to look like…umm…women! If I don’t give a rat’s ass about women who choose to look like men, then why should they care about how I choose to look? Are appearances everything? Do they make us ‘who we are’? Or are these women so insecure with their own sexuality and looks, that they have to ridicule those who look different from their cult-like group? This one email upset me, sorry to say—because it just never stops.
“Are you going to the Bush and Iraq protest in NYC this month?” she asked me. Now I have to be some militant opinionated politician in order to get the badge of approval to be a certified lesbian. Great. I am not going to this protest because I find it useless in my opinion. Some of these ‘lesbians’ give other women who prefer women a bad name. They prance around with picket signs proclaiming their rights as civilians all over the city. That’s not the bad part---the worst part of it is, they sometimes feel the need to go topless—displaying their sexuality. Can you imagine if heterosexual people did this? I think it’s a disgusting way to get your message across. I want no part of it. Why would picketing topless make the people change their minds? (Don't answer that please...)
Someone from a GLBT group sent me flyers to pass out for a meeting held regarding rights for gays and lesbians to get married. They hold meetings every week at a church and talk about ways to get the government to change their views—which have been set since the beginning of time. Good luck. I am happy living with my partner and enjoying her time. I went into this knowing that we couldn’t have the exact same rights as heterosexuals. A piece of paper telling me I’m married won’t make our relationship any better. We have beneficiary papers that make me confident knowing that if I should ever pass away—my partner will receive my money and other possessions. That’s all I need.
You have no right to judge me. You have no right to tell me that I have to be bi-sexual if I have long hair and make up. You have no right to decide whether or not I fit in with the gay & lesbian community. I don’t think I want to fit in with that community---the community that's so desperate to be accepted—yet they don’t want to accept anyone else that differs from them. Ironic, huh? I call them hypocrites if you ask me. Every word out of their mouth spews anger and resentment. Please keep in mind I am speaking of the militant hardcore bull-dykes who rant and rave about who’s a lesbian and who’s ‘pretending’ to be.
I have been judged by many lesbians; not only because I look like a girl (God forbid) but even with my religion. “How can you be a Christian?” I love Christ---therefore… There are so many sectors of Christianity—so many extremists and beliefs. Who are they to condone my relationship with God? That’s mine. It’s personal. If I choose to share it on my blog, then I do. If people don’t want to read it—they certainly have a choice. Just like God gave us a choice. If you’re that offended by my lifestyle and choice of religion, then stop reading my blog. (This going out to the girl who labeled herself a ‘butch’ in the email I received.)
It’s funny; I’m accepted more in the straight community as a ‘lesbian’ more than in the gay community. I feel more accepted by them, and they don’t judge my character, or the way I dress, or who I love. It’s amazing to see so many accepting people. And yes, you have your judgmental peeps out there—but the vast majority is willing to accept those who are confident in their own skin.
Some lesbians that I have encountered will isolate themselves off to ‘just their community’ and banter back and forth discussing how bad heterosexuals treat them. Well then stop being such an alien and come back into the real world! You treat them like a plague as much as you think they treat you like it. All of this has to do with major insecurity issues. It’s sad, because if they didn’t hide themselves so much and judge everyone and their mother, they can probably get along with mostly anybody. But they refuse; they neglect the fact that there are ‘different’ people out there who are willing to accept and not judge. They stereotype straight people.
Look at some of their cars--rainbow stickers everywhere and bumper stickers that scream, “PROUD TO BE GAY!” Now what if one of these lovely women got behind a car that had a bumper sticker screaming out, “PROUD TO BE STRAIGHT?” I’m sure these ladies would get their shorts up in a bunch and call them bigots. In fact, I wish they did make bumper stickers like that. I’d love to watch that in action.
My whole point is, these ladies are begging for acceptance when they have none of their own for anybody. What’s the golden rule? I guess they forgot it.
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