Living Proof

Where do we learn tolerance for people who may be different than us? You can even post the question a little differently: where do we learn prejudices from? While society may be a factor, it also stems from what a child learns from home, or even what the child is hidden from. Kids are smart and eventually, they come to terms with Santa Claus being a fraud, the Tooth Fairy's a character played by mom and of course, the Easter bunny is just a fib. But those are 'good' lies; to enhance the child's wonderment. I do believe that. But what do you say to a child who sees two men holding hands or two women in a loving embrace like mommy and daddy do?  That's a hard call, but eventually they find out by their friends in school, which is just as scary as amateur sex ed. As society progresses into a new world of tolerance and equality for all (thank God), the old world of prejudices still lurks out there, waiting to offend anyone who dares fit the mold of the ~unknown~. At m

I learned quite a lot during this past week of my father's passing. Having this to be the first one of our immediate family member passing away, it gave me a glimpse into how other people react, feel, think and handle everything. The one thing that sticks out in my mind is how strange death can be, in terms of finally seeing people you love from years ago to pay their last respects. Where did the time go? The biggest repetitive thing said was, "It is so great to see you! -- Of course, it would be better under different circumstances," as their smile fades into a solace look and perhaps, a prolonged holding of one's hand. Why does it take a death to finally get us all together?  But that's life. Life gets in the way. And death brings us all back to that common ground: reality. It was such a great turnout and so nice to see so many coming to share that day with us. There were also some who were taken aback by how the services were handled. It was a one day event -

This morning I woke up into a puddle of tears. I dreamt that Dad was living his final days up in a beautiful room provided by hospice. My family and I, one by one, would walk up, giving him a kiss goodbye telling him "I love you" for the last time, staring at his weak, frail, grayish-blue frame sunken into the last bed he'll ever lie in. When I finally awoken from this nightmare, it hit me: it was real - it happened. Madelene came over to my side of the bed trying to control my sobbing with a hug, but it wouldn't stop. All I kept saying was, "It's real... It's real." Thoughts flooded my mind, memories, flashes of moments where Dad tried walking out of the house to get onto his backhoe because "he had to go to work", then realized he couldn't. His head sunk down realizing his passion in life was nothing but a memory. The last time he was conscious he said, "I don't think I'm gonna make it kid," as I helped him walk th

It's a proven fact that if you don't love yourself, you can't love another person. It's also a fact that if you don't take care of "you" first, you can't take care of other people. When you constantly 'do do do' and don't take time out to replenish your mind, body & soul, you'll end up resentful and perhaps full of anxiety.  Sometimes there is a misconception of whose life is easier. And while that may look like the case, it certainly is not. Each person has their own cross to bear so I always try to keep in mind that judging their circumstances or lack thereof is just unfair. Remember, people don't always tell you everything that's brewing behind closed doors. But while being in the midst of this 'messy life' we all live in to certain degrees, there are some wonderful suggestions and tips that are always given, but are they always taken? Yesterday afternoon while I was having a "me" day, I went to a well

Questioning life is a good thing. We never want to reach that level of "OK, I don't need to learn anything else." Questioning the afterlife is inevitable, for every religion and those who don't believe in a "god" or higher being.  What truly happens when we die? Logic will explain everything - even for those who had a near death experience witnessing that great big 'white light' as well as seeing deceased loved ones. It's just something the brain produces that makes you see your life flash before your eyes and perhaps, your dead relatives coming to see you.  Sounds cooky, doesn't it?  But, it has happened and yet, science keeps batting it down as if it was nonsense. Even in my own experience, I was planning to go up to visit my grandmother once in the hospital. The night before, she came to me in a dream and stubbornly said, "I don't want you to see me like this. Don't you dare come to the hospital!" Just a dream... I br

There are a lot of people who simply just amaze me. And I say "amaze" in not so much of a judgmental tone, but more on a curious level - like trying to get inside their minds in order to fully understand why they think and do what they think and do. Capiche?  I'll never forget about ten years ago, a friend of mine who was much younger than all of us had driven to our house crying hysterically. She was nineteen years old was still living with her parents at the time. What happened was, her parents found out by another family member that she was a lesbian and had been seeing a young woman for the past six months or so. I remember "Christine" sobbing through her words, telling Madelene and I how she was about to come out to them and truly thought that her parents wouldn't have made such a big fuss over it. When Christine came home from her job of working with those who are developmentally challenged, she found that her parents had all of her belongings out

It's been one of those weeks where I just want to scream, "I can't laugh anymore!!!" To all my family and friends, they know me as the 'jokester' - sometimes with the most hideous jokes, but nonetheless. I make light of things and try to defuse any tense situation. ..I try. They do the same for me as well, or at least try. Yesterday morning was especially hard for me. I woke up feeling nauseous, possibly from nerves to help my mother with some personal issues to tend to and getting things situated for her back home. I made some coffee, had a little something to eat with Mad, and while I was in the bathroom, I came back out to find my Chihuahua licking up the last bits of my coffee while there were shards of the glass mug all around her. She has learned to jump onto the table now with her little 2 inch legs and knock things over. Needless to say, she zoomed around the house like Speedy Gonzales on meth. After cleaning the mess up and taking her outside t

A friend of mine suggested this Buddhist based book that basically gave suggestions on how to handle life's circumstances and turmoils. The main message was, instead of stepping into your next chapter of life with fear, step into it with curiosity.  I have a few friends who are going through very turbulent times right now in their lives, as I am too. We all share, give our best advice and sometimes, just give an ear or shoulder to lend out if need be. They all fear the worst outcome. (So do I.) The point is: everyone is going through something, regardless how small or big. The significance of it all depends on the individual. It doesn't even have to be an outward circumstance - it can be an inner turmoil that someone's going through that makes them do things, say things and think things that are just out of their character. And to undermine what someone else is going through, just because you went through something similar is beyond my understanding, and it also does not

Everything has become so impersonal. You get happy birthday wishes on your Facebook wall - no card or phone call. If it weren't for Facebook, perhaps your birthday would be forgotten altogether. You no longer have to wonder what people are doing on the weekends or what they're up to during the work week and if it sucked - they always let you know. The funniest entertainment for me are the ones who create those little online dramas online with a status message indicating how upset they are over people commenting over 'this' or 'that' or posting whatever. Who gives a rat's ass? And as much as I would like to think that Facebook has dwindled down a bit, like Myspace, truth is, it hasn't at all. In fact, I want to even say it has gotten worse. This is why I'm more of a fan of Twitter. It's an outlet for whatever and however you want to express yourself and you can hashtag a topic in order to start a conversation about a particular topic. I also fin