Living Proof

You gotta love people when they only see what they wanna see. For me, it’s been a huge problem in many aspects of my life. Having anxiety disorder and depression, I tend to overcompensate by “denying” my symptoms so that I can live a “normal” life, whatever that may be. It’s a bit ironic that when I step into any psychotherapist’s office that they all say the same thing: “You look like you have it together.” I will admit I did something pretty sneaky... I tapped into my psychiatric files once at this rundown clinic I used to go to since I didn’t have any insurance at the time. Mind you, their regulars were schizophrenics and sociopaths. The waiting room itself was a psychiatric ward full of people rocking back and forth drooling over one another. I wanted to see if they really thought I was batshit crazy. As I flipped through each page describing the same diagnosis, I was (and I admit) a bit disappointed. It said, “Generalized Anxiety Disorder”. I said out loud, “Bullshit!” It also ...

There are times when the media is "fun and entertaining" and there are other times when the media can be questionable, or somewhat skewed in their facts. But the one thing that makes me crazy are conspiracy theorists conjuring up all sorts of stories to try and "debunk" whatever's brewing. For instance, remember the claims that the conspiracy theorists made about Newtown? They called it The Sandy Hook Shooting Hoax and claimed that they were all actors and that the tragic ending of childrens' lives were all staged. It went viral. Surprisingly, many, many people believed it because it was so incredibly shocking that some people just didn't know how to react to it, which resulted in various versions of the story. People are human and they get nervous -- they were traumatized. How are they supposed to act? In this video , you can see how "believable" it could have been if it just went a step further, one step towards truth. But it didn't. Co...

All throughout my life I’ve always enjoyed seafood, especially shellfish. As I’ve written before on this blog, my father owned a fish market at the South Street Seaport in NYC and brought home every type of fish you could imagine. Wednesday was our seafood night. We had everything from calamari, clams and spaghetti, shrimp, lobster, crab legs - you name it, we had it. Every Christmas we heed to the old Italian tradition of The Feast of the Seven Fishes. We still do it, however I tend to steer clear from it these days. About ten years ago, my sister started developing severe allergic reactions to seafood - mostly shellfish. Symptoms varied from rashes to face swelling, which is an indicator of a possible anaphylactic shock, which could be deadly. Soon after, I began to notice every time I ate shrimp, lobster or crab, I would get hives inside my mouth -- nowhere else. I quit shellfish immediately, but was able to still eat clams and mussels. No one could figure it out. Some would assume ...

Anytime I wake up and see the streets and buildings packed up with snow, my mind automatically fills with excitement. It’s certainly not because I want to run out there to clean off my car and then move it so the plows can do their thing, --it’s because it triggers some wonderful memories of when I was growing up. Snow meant the possibility of having a day off from school. My sisters and I would go outside and make snowmen, or we’d just watch my dad push a shitload of snow onto a mound with his backhoe and make a 20 ft tall snowman himself. He even packed it with the plow to make it somewhat 'round'. We’d climb up the giant snowman with carrots and little stones to finish up the face. That snowman must have stayed well into the middle of July - he was so big! We would come running inside, tracking snow everywhere until mom stopped us at the end of the hallway to take off our boots and jackets. I always had to wear this hideous snowsuit that made it impossible to move my arms,...

T here’s always something tugging me back; holding me from whatever it is I want to do. It’s a debilitating feeling that has me kept inside my own prison: anxiety. Where does it come from and why does it persist? I’ve dealt with anxiety for a very long time – half my life actually. Sometimes it’s not bad, and other times, it’s so debilitating that it prevents me from doing everyday tasks. I can control it, but there are times when I just give up and let it take over. That part, of course, is my own fault. I read something today that encouraged me. “God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love and self-discipline.” ~ 2 Timothy 1:7 Underneath the passage there was more… “Debilitating fear is not from the Lord. We can call upon God’s Spirit to give us the power to face our foes, the love to overcome evil with good, and the discipline to persevere through our trials. We have been given the power to turn from fear to faith.” And that right there tells me that I nee...