Living Proof

A long time ago, a friend stated that she couldn’t possibly go to this restaurant I suggested because it reminded her of her ex. It was a bar & grill that I’ve been going to for years. I said to her, “I have had around five exes that I took here, and hell if that’s gonna keep me away.” She just shook her head and said, “I can’t do that. It hurts too much.” Although I completely understand what she meant, I tried sharing how I felt about associating places, people and things. For me, it’s more about associating songs. Maybe I danced to a particular song with an ex or just attached a song reminding me of her. “Places” never did that for me. Any time I visit a place, I disassociate immediately - nothing attached, making it completely new. Some people, after a divorce or live-in situation, throw away all of their furniture (even if it’s pretty new), pictures, or objects in the home that was once shared by them. For me, yes, some of that must go, but if I really like an “object” - I m...

It’s funny, because when my partner, my wife comes home from work, I make sure there’s dinner on the table for her and comfortable clothes for her to change into - clothes that I washed for her. Usually, roommates don’t do that for one another. We do things as a team. We spend time with family and friends and make sure our home is welcoming for those who visit. We sleep in the same bed. We never go to bed angry. When we wake up, I quickly shuffle into the kitchen to make her coffee and a big breakfast - not because she demands it, but because I love her. We do things for one another out of love, not out of obligation. We enjoy making each other extremely happy however we can. When either one of us are sick, we take care of each other. I’d be lost without my best friend...without my wife. How is this different from other heterosexual married couples? Legality? Religion? Well, we’re now legally married here in New York and wow, we’re both Christians. Go figure. And if some religious zea...

Kudos to you, Mayor Bloomberg as an Independent, going against the grain of the majority of Republicans in putting so much effort in marriage equality and taking a stand for human rights. Some could argue that it would be easy for me to make that statement, because I’m a lesbian, however there are many straight people, Democrats and Republicans who are for same sex marriage to be legalized. I appreciate the fact that you’re traveling to Albany this morning, pushing for people who love one another to be able to marry, like any other human being. I understand that during your first half of mayoralty, you didn’t speak much regarding gay marriage. I’m sure there are many Republicans who feel the way you do, but are unable to speak up because they’re still running with a herd of sheep. It takes courage and guts to stand up for what you believe in, for what New York believes in, and to push for New York to be the sixth and largest state to legalize same sex marriage. So thank you. Sincerely,...

The great debate of “is it a choice or is it genetics” has completely gone down the drain once I heard a friend of mine tell me why she “chose” to be a lesbian. I quickly interjected and said, “Nobody chooses this lifestyle”, hoping it would alleviate the stereotype that many religious people hold who feel it is a choice. However, in her case, it was a choice. With her permission, I’m able to write about this, although I will just refer to her as, “Jen” instead of using her real name. She asked me to write this, so that maybe my readers out there can give her a little advice or words of wisdom. She shared a personal story with me the other day that took me by surprise. While growing up, her stepfather sexually abused her for approximately four years. It started when she was eight years old and ended when she was around twelve. During the time she was attending middle school, her friends would always try to fix her up with boys. She wasn’t interested. In fact, she never even dated in ...

While sipping my coffee before work, I was scanning down my Facebook feed seeing what my friends were up. It was then I saw a note that was shared by my friend & comedienne, Mimi Gonzalez, written by a lady named, Ife Franklin. It was a heartfelt letter written to Bay Windows and being sent to the Governor of MA and the Boston Globe regarding men hitting on she and her wife in Provincetown, MA. As I continued to read it, it started to become much clearer that this woman was not just ranting about black men hitting on her, but she was ranting about the lack of care by "the white folks" who hire them and who have "the power to fire them". I'll just copy and paste her note first, and then my long comment afterwards. I apologize for such a long blog post, but I had to speak up. Feel free to leave your honest thoughts about this - even if you highly disagree with me. I understand she has a very unfortunate, traumatic past with rape and harassment, but this went...

( Click the photo for a larger view.) It had to be a full moon yesterday. Everything was a bit off kilter. Some of it was entertaining, and some, well, let’s just say could have been lived without. You’re probably sick and tired of me rambling about how excited I am to move out of this complex, but I will admit that there is part of me that will totally miss it. I love people - I love different, quirky, eccentric type of people. The weirder the better in my opinion. Of course there’s a fine line, but I think we all have our little issues that make us a bit interesting to certain people. My day started off while I was in my home office yesterday morning around 10am. There’s a man across the way who likes to go out on his deck and yell out to the women below who are walking their little dogs around the complex. He’s not rude or making lewd comments - he’s just trying to make pleasant conversation. Whenever there’s a bit of action...

So far so good. Slowly but surely. I can spit out every cliche about the process of moving, getting the old place cleaned up and getting the new place renovated and freshened up. But I do have many complaints about it and I will try the best I can to put a positive spin on it... If you’re going to come to the house and give me a “free” estimate, do not change it. Your estimate should be solid. You have looked at your ‘to do’ list and now you have just given somebody a price for your hard work. Be consistent. Don’t say, “Well, it was more work than expected so I had to add an extra $300 to it.” That’s just bad business. If you’re truly a professional and you’re out there giving “free” estimates, be truthful. I’ll even pay for the “free” estimate just for you to be honest. Our floor guy ripped out part of the carpet, not all like we asked him to. So, from $300 to do everything, he said that it would be $600 ---MORE! So he left us pulling up the carpet ourselves, as well as the million...

It’s a beautiful night as I sit here on my deck typing on my laptop. I’m going to miss this place in some ways. Although I bitched and moaned about my surroundings, regarding neighbors, fires, police, etc., etc., this was a cute little nest for the time being. I finally fixed my bee problem two weeks before I have to move out. I even had the HOA do some tree trimming around the area where it banged the crap out of my a/c unit and left us with sleepless nights. We just got a new boiler too after all the times it conked out on us, leaving us to bathe the old fashioned way. But here I sit, gazing at the mountains on my little deck with a glass of wine, listening to the neighbors down below laughing and talking amongst themselves. My thoughts trickle back into our first years here. We brought together many people in this little condo. All the parties, all the dinners, all the times someone needed a place to stay - it was a little haven. I’m going to miss the woman across the street who goe...