Living Proof

In the fall of 2011, I remember setting up a flat screen TV in Mom & Dad's living room. They never had a TV in there before because Mom wanted that room to be the "conversation room" --- for parties and guests, etc. She didn't want some TV blaring away while people were trying to talk. As a kid, I was always confused over why we never had a TV in this gorgeous room, but Mom said no and that was that. As Dad and I were having a cocktail together in the living room, we had such an amazing conversation. He was on a good wave that week - no pain, no anxiety and very upbeat. For many, cancer just sucks the life-force right out of you, in all aspects. But that night was a good night. We sat there talking for hours and at some points during our conversation, we held hands. Dad was really never the type to show affection through hugs or by holding hands, almost ever, but he did show his love in many other ways by his actions. For the longest time, he was resentful over

As much as I joke around about my crazy hypochondriacal life, a lot of frustration is involved with the anxiety which is the "probably" the root of the problem. We all fear death. We all fear illnesses and pain, but when does it come to the point of losing your marbles over every single ache and pain?  My mind says (and so does WebMD) that the chest pain I'm having is linked to a possible heart attack. When in doubt, check it out, right? Who wants to mess with a possible heart attack? Some people, like myself who have GERD or some underlining bogus diagnosis of costochondritis live with periodic intense pain that comes from the chest, sometimes radiating into an arm (usually the left for me) . So, how am I to know this isn't the big ticket into heaven? (I'm assuming heaven.) For instance, the other night I'm about to go to bed. I slip into my comfy PJs and cuddle up to my wife and our little chihuahua. We were about to watch a movie when all of the sudden

Facebook rejected my post due to this image. For the past couple of months, I noticed that periodically, I would get an email from Facebook telling me that my post (article) was rejected due to violating their terms of service. It's not like this is an erotica blog or some sort of hate group blog --- it's a nonsensical, semi-political, everyday type of rants kind of blog. It has no importance whatsoever other than maybe someone relating to my madness. Once in a while, something really gets under my skin, like a mother asking her son to "stop being gay". So I write about it and encourage people to accept one another regardless of their gender preferences. I don't think I have ever written anything in a hateful manner -- maybe a few complaints about this and that, but that's as far as it goes. Well, third time's a charm. Facebook once again notified me that they would leave my post up on my wall, however, it would not show up on any of my "fan's

To be completely honest with you, I'm really not sure if being gay is a choice or not. There hasn't been "concrete" evidence that it's purely genetics, but then again, there are unexplainable behaviors in young children that determines their sexuality later on in life. For me, I knew all my life I secretly preferred females. I also dated guys when I was a teenager. I even fell in love with one man. Overall, I "chose" to live a life with a woman because the emotional connection I have with a woman exceeds any connection I ever had with a man. Some suggest that I'm bisexual. I'm not. I'm just a person who loves whoever I fall in love with, regardless of gender. My point is: it doesn't matter if it's a choice or if it's genetics - it's about loving someone and wanting to be with that person. It's about your happiness. I have had a couple of my 'gay' friends, (one lesbian and one gay man) say to me, "Deb, I hope

She gets the tinfoil hat of shame. Without a rebuttal from my better half, because (fortunately), she doesn't have access to blogs or social media at work, I am pleased forced to post a part II on her. Yesterday, as I was reading a fellow blogger named Katy go on about her grandmother and how she feels the government is out to get her, I shared my story telling her about Madelene and how paranoid she is - conspiracy-theory-paranoid about the government. I'll start with the other night while I was preparing dinner. I was washing something in the sink. We have this huge window overlooking the wooded area outside, and now that it gets dark around 4:30, it was pitch black. I turned the shade down and said, "Ugh, feels like I'm being watched for some reason," in reference of not being able to see outside. I always get that feeling if I can't see beyond a certain distance. Mad quickly turns around and says, "You are." All you hear is a "ka-pla

My wife and I are very much alike in many ways, but very different in a lot of other areas. We seem to hate purses. Now, the difference here is, I carry a purse, but I tuck it away, leave it in the trunk or I just take it to carry the OCD/neurotic essentials: water, antibacterial gels, an EpiPen, inhalers, Benadryl, aspirin and gum. I guess you can call it my first aid kit. There is no money in my purse. There are no credit cards or anything of value (except for that damn EpiPen) in my purse. If it was stolen, I couldn't give a rat's ass --- it's just 'stuff'. Everything of value is in my inner pockets of whatever I'm wearing. I just refuse to get the crusty ol' man wallet tied up with a rubber band. Her wallet as seen as above used to have so much crap in it --- receipts, business cards, dry cleaner reminders, discount cards, and oh -- a picture of me when I was only 20 years old. Don't ask. It was so packed that it looked like an oversized Italian su

I was bored waiting for Mad to check her circulars… Did you ever notice a lot of people complain about social media (including myself) and how society has just plummeted to a whole new low by being antisocial because of it? I remember a girlfriend of mine was talking about her sister-in-law and said, "She's on Facebook like 24/7 -- doesn't she work or have a life?" And when you think back to the good ol' days when there were no smartphones or any "devices" to connect you to the world other than the dial up internet connected to your wall, then yes, I would have to say, "GET OUT OF YOUR HOUSE!" But that's not the case here. Now, it's quite the contrary. People who do have lives and have something to say about it are all posting about it with their smartphones. I'm an avid tweeter, Instagrammer, Facebooker, and if I see something funny or something that'll raise your eyebrows, my iPhone is gonna capture it and send it out to t

So I'll admit, most of my posts nonsensical. I have a million and one fluff pieces to dish out so bear with me. I never said I was a journalist, so just keep that in mind. Also it's Saturday and I'm in my pajamas still and of course…I'm a blogger. I. am. a. blogger. Even with that being said, I have received quite a few emails regarding a few of my posts where people were so outraged over my opinion. Who really cares what I have to say? But hey, it stirred the pot and if people are outraged by your content, then you must be doing something right.  It's my nonsensical opinion as a blogger. The art of blogging is so lost. So many of my blogging buddies have either deleted their accounts or have just let their blogs float away out into cyberspace somewhere. A lot of the opinionated bloggers, such as myself can easily received more than their share of hate emails per day. I try to limit my 'piss you off' posts the best I can. At times, it's great to have t

To the best of my ability, I try my hardest to stay away from any doctor offices or hospitals from October to April because that's when I get sick the most. Let's face it - that's when most people get sick the most. Even with all my effort, it seems pointless because I also take my mom to doctor appointments as well. Her appointments don't require much "family care practice" - it's more rheumatologists, pediatrists, cardiologists and of course, ophthalmologists with bad cases of halitosis. "Why doesn't he pop a breath mint before examining his patients," Mom complains, as she stumbles out of his office, dizzy from holding in her breath the whole time. But that's not the point --- I am plagued with sick people in these "non-sick" (thought-to-be) places. Last night, I'm sitting in the waiting room while Mom was getting blood work done by her rheumatologist. She has gout, so she has to check her levels every so often. As I

The other day Madelene and I stopped off at this restaurant and bar to have a glass of wine. I was having some sort of anxiety attack, so we stopped in just for a bit. It had to be almost dinner time and the restaurant was preparing for its normal crowd to come flooding in. We sat at the bar and decided to also have an appetizer. Maybe it's because I don't pay attention enough or maybe it's just that people sometimes annoy the hell out of me, but this man sitting near us was eating his late lunch/early dinner, but so loudly that I wanted to vomit. From slurping, to smacking his lips and even grunting while shoveling a pile of mashed potatoes into his mouth. He was also eating a lot of his food with his bare hands getting gravy all over his shirt. At the end of his dinner, he was scraping his plate so loudly that I shot him a look. It was like scratching nails on a chalkboard. I'm thinking to myself, does he even know how rude he's being or am I just overly sensi

There's a big difference in "be who you are" and just "being plain obnoxious" when it comes to a first date with someone. Of course there are no set rules and you certainly don't want to pretend to be somebody you're not, but there are some unspoken guidelines to go by in my opinion. The other night I was in a heavy discussion with a group of my single friends. I was surprised by what they were saying, especially 'giving it up' on the first date for some. One girl said, "Well you just gotta go with your feelings - what's so bad about having sex on a first date?" The best relationships start out with a foundation of friendship (at least for me), which is why I'm married to my best friend today. Think about all your first experiences with someone in particular. You have to get used to them, it can be awkward most of the time, and you always have to learn with the other person prefers. That's a given. But once you 'give i