Showing posts from August, 2019

When In Doubt

What defines a new chapter in your life? Is it after a breakup or a divorce? Is it meeting the love of your life? Is it finding a new home? Or can it be as simple as a shift in your mindset? The mind is one of the most difficult thing to change. That's why the phrase, "battlefield of the mind" is so common. There's this constant tug between our inner pessimist and inner optimist. We can toss around thoughts about a new place: "Well, what if the boiler goes? What if I don't like the neighborhood? What if I have buyer's remorse?" And then the optimist comes in and says, "Wow, I sleep so well here. The neighborhood is awesome! I love how convenient everything is." There can be so many mixed feelings when it comes to these big life events. What if he's not the right guy? What if he turns out to be a complete jerk? But then you see the good in him and think, "Wow, he's gonna make a great father!" When you approach a complete


Lately, it's been strange for me. It's been two years since my mom passed away, and my partner and I just bought our first home together, which is exciting because we needed a different atmosphere and a new start. It was too much. I thought I was happy, I am happy about it, but every single morning, I wake up with a pounding heart and horrible anxiety. This is a new symptom for me. At first, it alarmed me---I started getting chest pain because I was panicking, and ended up at the doctor's to be told it was just anxiety. So, I literally and intentionally have to slowly rise, get up and go into the other room to pray and meditate for about an hour or so before even having breakfast. After a while, my heart rate goes back down and I can function again. I learned a few coping mechanisms from my therapist that really helps, but I rely on my prayer time with God first and foremost. Another thing I started doing was telling myself all the positives about this huge move we are d

Can Anxiety Be a Good Thing?

Just by reading my title, you're probably shaking your head and saying, "No, no no!" And as I sit here typing, I had just finished doing some deep breathing exercises to lower my heart rate just so I can drink my coffee. Sounds bizarre, but I can't give coffee up. Generally, people with anxiety shouldn't drink coffee for obvious reasons. But for me, it makes me feel good, especially if I can control my anxiety. The last few weeks, my heart rate has been 100+ --- sometimes reaching 130bpm. I've seen emergency medical doctors, cardiologist, therapists, psychiatrists to all tell me it's anxiety. Basic 'calming techniques' were given and of course, the follow up appointment. So Why Would Anxiety Be a Good Thing?  It's really not, but I just learned from both my sister and therapist that when your heart races or you feel this surge of anxiety rush through you---that can mean you're on the verge of a breakthrough and spiritual awakening.

It's OK Not to Be OK!

There's a ton of online gurus for every topic you can imagine. Some have degrees for studying their craft and knowledge, while others can only offer you their experience and research. I find both acceptable when it comes to reading content from either a qualified scholar or from someone who has experience of their own in whatever topic. Take for instance psychology. There are people like me who talk, write and live stream about mental health awareness, anxiety, depression and other related topics, only because I have struggled with it since I was sixteen years old. I cannot give you advice on medications or worse off, diagnose you. I can only tell you my story, and maybe relate to yours. I can tell you what worked for me, and leave it up to you to draw your own conclusions. Qualifying Your Therapist How do you know if someone can truly help you? Say for instance, a self-proclaimed "life coach" approaches you---do you ask for their qualifications and practice? Wha

When You're the Token Lesbian of Your Christian Friends

My walk with God is my own. It's my own personal relationship with God tells me I have my comforter, my friend, my Father and my great physician wherever I go and whenever I need Him. I don't need other people to assume or to tell me that when I finally get to meet God, that He'll say, "Depart from me, I never knew you." Trust me, God knows me very well. My time spent every single morning with Him is what I look forward to daily. Some mornings it can be 30 minutes, while most mornings, it exceeds an hour or two, especially if I'm studying the word. But putting a timer on your prayer time is not what's important: it's your faith and relationship. I don't just sit in church every Sunday, my relationship has nothing to do with the church itself. The church is there to fellowship with other believers and hear more about the Bible. But it doesn't end after Sunday service. It continues on a much deeper level. My communication with God is nonstop. H

What Is "Health Anxiety?"

Many people think of generalized stress or panic attacks when hearing the word "anxiety." But there's a new definition of hypochondria, which is called, "health anxiety." It basically defines itself: anxiety over health issues. I'm no stranger when it comes to going to the ER because I'm experiencing chest pain. For me, it's a valid concern. For most people who don't have anxiety, they'd be in the ER right away. But for people like me, who are constantly aware of their health, it can become a pattern. Throughout my experience of having met my share of EMTs, nurses and doctors, there are specific types of pain that I can identify as anxiety now. Here are things I do before it becomes an emergency: If the pain is sharp---that means it's usually muscle/skeletal and can be relieved by taking Tylenol or ibuprofen.  If you can somehow recreate the pain by moving your arms around, then it's also muscle/skeletal, or what's called,