When You're the Token Lesbian of Your Christian Friends

My walk with God is my own. It's my own personal relationship with God tells me I have my comforter, my friend, my Father and my great physician wherever I go and whenever I need Him. I don't need other people to assume or to tell me that when I finally get to meet God, that He'll say, "Depart from me, I never knew you." Trust me, God knows me very well. My time spent every single morning with Him is what I look forward to daily. Some mornings it can be 30 minutes, while most mornings, it exceeds an hour or two, especially if I'm studying the word. But putting a timer on your prayer time is not what's important: it's your faith and relationship. I don't just sit in church every Sunday, my relationship has nothing to do with the church itself. The church is there to fellowship with other believers and hear more about the Bible. But it doesn't end after Sunday service. It continues on a much deeper level. My communication with God is nonstop. He is within me---living in my mind and heart. So when someone tells me I don't know God or that God doesn't love me, I know that's a message from the devil. He wants us to feel like God doesn't love us. He wants us to think that God is going to say, "Depart from me! I never knew you!" He will speak through other people and have you feel horrible about who you are and what you do. Remember, the devil comes to steal, kill and destroy, whether that be through people or through our very own thoughts.

But isn't that what many Christians do to one another? They rebuke each other, or call it "righteous judgment." I do believe in trying to help someone who is struggling with something that threatens their salvation, but the nonsense of mocking fellow Christians for their imperfections or their 'thought-to-be' sin is pathetic. I joined church so that I can meet other believers, because it's kind of hard talking about Jesus with enthusiasm to an atheist or someone of another religion. We're all different, and I respect that. I'm not here trying to convert anyone over to my religion. I can be an example of my faith, but I'm not going to tell someone they're going to hell because they don't believe what I do. Those are big shoes to fill. But sadly, many Christians feel it's their job to rebuke and judge people, leaving them to feel bad about their own lives. Life and death are in the power of the tongue. You can either choose to uplift and edify people, or you can choose to scare the living bejeezus out of folks who are trying to just learn more about God.

Having said that, I have friends from all different kinds of faiths and religions, and some with little to no faith. Sadly, the ones who are Christian seem to be the ones who tear me down the most. Some like to take me in as their "token lesbian" to point out some kind of "YES GOD IS GOOD BECAUSE SHE IS HERE" type of ministry, hoping that my testimony will be that I am 100% converted into some heterosexual unhappy married broad with a few kids and 20 cats. I don't want to live that life. They want to take credit for turning you into one of them, without giving God the glory. They want to take all the credit---narcissistically twist you into their image, and not God's. I remember I had one Christian friend who admitted that she would pray every single night that my union with my wife, and best friend would fizzle out so that I could meet "a nice boy" at her church to marry and settle down with. She even offered me to live in her home while I 'transform.' And of course who would get that credit for turning me hetero? It's an egotistical agenda these Christians have---to get you to do what they want---to get you to live how they live. Characteristics: unhappily married people, single folks and of course...priests---these groups seem to want to pull you down with them. I always say, if you think I'm sinning, then just pray for me. Don't try to break up my relationship with someone I have been with for 25 years! Most heterosexual marriages don't even last that long. Some couples don't prefer to have children---and who does in this evil, crazy world anyway? But nonetheless, I'm done being the "token lesbian" for these fake Christians who spew nothing but egotistical messages that God doesn't love you because of "this" and "that." God loves ALL of us, messy lives and all. He will take us as is, as long as we have faith in Him.

And what is the greatest commandment in the Bible?

“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”--Matthew 22:36

So with my strong and unwavering faith, I will choose to hang out with the sinners, for I am one as well....we all are sinners and fall short in the glory of God. I will spend time with the "common man" as the Bible says.

Roman 12:16 says, "Live in harmony with each other. Don’t be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people. And don’t think you know it all!"

I know some Christians who say to STAY AWAY from unbelievers. But if your faith can't be shaken, then what is there to fear? God says to fear not, for He is with you. Jesus spent time with the sinners, despite what religious people thought of Him. These people aren't truly reading what the Bible tells us to do. And when you point it out to them, you'll either get total silence, or cherry picked version of what they 'think' it means. It's all very black and white.

My final thought on this is to pray for people like this. These people are insecure and unsure of their own fate. They're not sure if they're "right" with God, or else they wouldn't tear you down or verbally attack you. Be quick to listen, and slow to anger----and if people disagree with you, just pray on it. That's all you can do.

Trust what God thinks of you, not what people say about you.

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