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Showing posts from July, 2005

The Dating Pool

I always thought finding the right partner was similar to buying a new car. I wanted the model to be just right, it had to have style, character, class and most of all speed for excitement. I wanted the interior to be understanding of my need of comfort and support. I needed the interior to have a lot of room; possibly for all the baggage that I may bring into it. The headlights (the eyes of the car) had to sparkle; had to give the car a personality of its own and had to shine above anyone else. The back end had to be cute, but enough trunk space to really make it stand out above the rest. My car had to turn heads, had to make people think, “Wow, how did she get into that car!” What if I couldn’t afford the ‘perfect car’? Would I have to settle for less? Would I have to resort to finding an economical ‘cute’ car? The constant struggle of finding Miss Right lies in the hands of God. I do believe that we have more than one soul mate. There are plenty of ‘perfect’ mates out ther

The Sunday Morning Paper

How I used to look forward to the weekends when I used to have the conventional-type career. Now it’s just a plain ol’ Sunday. I used to love Sunday mornings. I just got the paper this morning and made an observation... I find myself resenting some of these ‘newlyweds’ who have all these success stories. Why is it that every wedding and engagement announcement only has successful people in the paper? “Bill Smith the bridegroom is a graduate from Harvard and a stock broker for Wall Street and his lovely wife Jane Doe is a graduate of Yale University and a professor for NYU.” For once I would love to see an advertisement such as, “Joe Shmoe is a high-school drop out from Monroe Woodbury now currently trying to find himself living on disability due to his Carpal Tunnel pain from playing the guitar too much and his lovely wife Nancy Jones is a GED graduate working now as a cashier at 7 Eleven.” Let’s be realistic here and put ‘real’ people in these ads instead of these successful la

Beaver vs. the Dam

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Safe sex and protection should always be a priority when we are about to romp around town or find ourselves entangled with a new sex partner, but not everyone cares whether or not they use protection. Not every woman believes they can catch an STD through having an intimate moment with another woman. As lesbians, we have challenges as far as sexual protection paraphernalia goes. Heterosexuals and gay men have it so easy when it comes to protecting themselves. Lesbians, well, they have dental dams. Why do we have to settle for a piece of rubber that is much like a fruit roll up on our partner’s genitalia? If only this lovely invention tasted like a fruit roll up, it wouldn’t be half bad. The only option for avoiding that horrific latex taste is to use Saran Wrap… What a romantic thought, huh? “Hold on honey, let me grab the Saran Wrap!” Heterosexuals and gay men have it fairly easy when it comes to this option. They can roll a condom on their penis, and have it stay there. Lesbians ha

The Inner Circle

Have you ever noticed illegal immigrants that cross over from whatever country they are from, usually all flock together within their ‘same people’? They all know one another, and work in the same fields sometimes. Mostly all of them will rent out an apartment and have numerous roommates to help with the rent. Almost all of them that are living within a one hundred mile radius all know one another. It’s comforting for them to know their own kind in a society that is foreign to them, and a society that most likely will not be so accepting to ‘illegal immigrants’. I almost find the same situation in our own gay & lesbian community. We all know one another most of the time and we hide out in our ‘hang out spots’ that are mainly for our community. We even have some that team up as roommates as well. It is comforting for us to know that there are other people like ourselves. Discrimination has run so freely among society that it has all of us scrambling for a ‘safe zon

All Work & No Play

All work and no play makes Jane a boring girl, as the old saying goes. Being in a monogamous relationship for more than a few years may become a bit redundant at times, depending on the two people. Especially today, it is extremely challenging to make ends meet off one income. It’s even more of a challenge for a couple to have a normal life with two incomes due to the lack of time together, and the fatigue that comes into play when there are two people working in the household. Real estate keeps going up and up, as well as renting an apartment or a condo. Working has become the means of ‘living’. We live for our work. Most of us are in careers that we don’t even like, and if you are fortunate enough to be doing something you like—you are indeed very lucky. The whole bottom line is, when do we get enough quality times to be with our significant others? When do we start making time for our lover? Procrastination has become a big part of being in a relationship. Of course, when

Conversation No-Nos

Dating is hard enough when you are living a homosexual lifestyle. There are so many various types of people out there and so many people who do not fit what you may be seeking. Even e-mailing a few people for potential dating purposes can be extremely exhausting. Going over and over about your life and what you’re looking for may feel redundant and down right boring. You start getting sick of your own stories and background. There’s only so much to talk about when meeting someone sometimes. Most of it depends on what their values and beliefs may be. I have come across many conversations that led into a debate due to my religious and political views. I’m sure you have heard time and time again about never to bring up religion or politics when engaging in conversation. I have a different point of view regarding this. Bringing up your beliefs is actually a way of opening up your heart to someone. Don’t come off as if your belief is better than someone else’s. The key word here is ‘sharin

I'm Coming Out!

For many people, coming ‘out of the closet’ (revealing your sexuality) can be a difficult task to do; for others, it may just come natural. Depending on your parents and how they were raised, it may affect the way they consume all the information that they’re about to absorb. Religion has a lot to do with it in most cases. “ It’s wrong, it’s an abomination, God hates the sin, but loves the sinner.” ---yada yada yada! In my personal opinion and as a Christian myself, I believe that each and everyone of us on this earth falls short in the glory of God, that is why God is a forgiving God; He loves us equally. There is a scripture in the bible that says, “How terrible it would be if a newborn baby said to its father and mother, ‘Why was I born? Why did you make me this way?’” ~Isaiah 45:10 To me, what this scripture basically says, is that God made us perfect. How can we even think God has made mistake? There are many scriptures that refer to homosexuality as being an abomination, being

What's My Identity?

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I was never one to subject myself to women with huge political feminist points of views. These types of women would scare me. They would march in those gay parades topless holding picket signs as their boobs hung down to their knees; much like what you would see hanging from the ceiling of an Italian deli. Much of the gay community are full of angry lesbians who are so busy trying to defy the ways of life by identity crisis’ that they lose all sense of the word, ‘female.’ They start rebelling by dressing like a man, proving to the world that they can be a man, they can look this way or that way, and that they can go against how God made them; as a woman. Another observation I have made is that a lot of lesbian women do not want to dress up to impress when they go out. So many times I have walked into a gay bar only to see women dressed up in sweat pants, sweat shirts, sneakers and a bandana. What is so terrible about dressing up, doing your hair, getting dolled up to go out? Back in

Wasn't All Roses

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Maybe it’s a case of amnesia, or some sort of delusional thinking, however my eleven year relationship with Madelene was not a constant, nor perfect one. In those eleven years, we separated for approximately three years. We were still very close, and did things together, but we didn’t live together anymore. I thought I should point this out, so that other people in my life don’t feel as though I’ve wiped my memories of intimate moments with them right off my forehead. In the three years of that separation, I dated a woman who I fell madly in love with. We were both insane over one another. Our relationship was a bit turbulent though. On-off-on-off, we kept this trend up for three years. The constant bickering, arguing, and jealous rages—to great make up sex and back to lovey-dovey status. We were both jackasses, loved to act silly and laugh our butts off over the stupidest things. We were very much alike, but sometimes, too much alike where it caused a lot of conflict. Do I really wan

Tic-Toc

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How long before I get in before it starts,before I begin how long before you decide before I know what it feels like where to? where do I go? if you've never tried then you'll never know how long do I have to climb up on the side of this mountain of mine Coldplay rings through my head before my alarm clock does. Tossing around like big caesar salad, I found myself on Madelene’s side of the bed. As my hands tap every inch of the bed, I realize she’s not there. “Honey, does this look okay?” She says as she walks in the bedroom with a dark forest green, sleeveless zipper up vest. Trying to open my eyes the best I can, I can only make out a girl standing in thick fog. “Uhh, yeah, it looks great.” I replied. I managed to maneuver myself to sit upright on the side of the bed. Thump! Thump! Thump! Thump! My head pulsates like a big bass drum. I grab my glass of water; drinking it as if I was dried up like a prune. “Ugh. What happened?” I asked myself... I walk into the liv