Out & About

Realistically speaking, is it fair to say that all men have this delusion that all women want to be spoken to when they sit at a bar with a friend? I personally think it is very brave of them to approach a woman ‘period’…but what if that woman or ‘both’ of those women have rings on their fingers? Should that man still continue a conversation and drink offerings? What are his motives? It still baffles me to this day that men will openly talk to married women without hesitation. Maybe they’re married themselves! Who knows. Should they sit there and make out to make it known that there may be a possibility that they're a couple?

Subject 1: Dapper Dan with his hair dark brown shortly cropped cut and slicked back, Italian decent, about 5’5, muscular build, wearing just a tang top shirt. A large gold crucifix dangling from his neck; nestled in the thick dark curls of his chest hair. Slacks, dark, but has this sheen that illuminates—almost indicating, “Hey I just got done with work, now ready to head to the club!” Versatile, adaptable, adroit, all-around, all-purpose, ambidextrous, conversant, dexterous… Accent gives off that Brooklyn/Bronx overtone, allowing his voice to be heard from the other side of the bar. His Hummer awaits him outside in the parking lot near a huge lamp post, as almost as if it was on display.

Subject 2: Frumpy Fred with a t-shirt and a dream. Hair is combed back, looks groomed, although in a hat-- but the causal Friday ended “on Friday”---it’s apparent that he extended this special day. Consequently he comes walking over just like Dapper Dan, both not knowing one another. Frumpy Fred makes statements like, “Ah what a nice day it was girls, I just got off my boat and figured I stop in here to see what it was like.” It was obvious he didn’t know there was a dress code. His t-shirt had some logo on it advertising some brand of a boat or supplies. (who knows)

Do I cut their hearts open with my words of, “Oh, we’re lesbians and we are not into men ‘that way’.” No. It’s just not good in that circumstance. You get one or two results with that comment.

1.) “Hey! That’s great! Wow! So tell me girls,…..yada yada yada”….too much intrigue for one night!

2.) “Ohhhh…..isn’t that like an abomination to God? You’re Italian right? Catholic I assume? So you believe that it’s a sin, right?” Throw the first stone buddy!

So neither one of those reactions are what I call---‘good’ in my eyes. I remain quiet and just let them blabber on with whatever ramble they want to go on about; wishing they would leave as quickly as they approached us.

Please do not get the impression that I am some 'manhater' because I am not, I am just so amazed of how men will continue to talk to my partner and I---when it is unwelcomed. I say this because even when we reject drinks from the guy across the bar, they still float over to where we are to try and conversate. It's motives & angendas that tend to get my suspicions in an uproar.

Now even if a beautiful woman were to do the same to my partner and I, it will still be as annoying as the two men that approached us. We tend to get the same thing at the ‘women’s bars as well. It depends on their conversation and where this socializing leads to. Agendas, agendas, agendas people! I guess there are tactful ways to go about telling someone you are involved and not interested in anything other than socializing and a possible friendship. People need to respect the fact that the person who is by your side, may be your lover. If people don't pick up on the signals, it can make for an awkward time.

There is truly an art when you enter a nightclub of any kind. Here is the perfect opportunity to make eye contact with the person that you are interested in, instead of the cheesy ‘buy you a drink routine’ and run over as if it was okay to talk to you. Dancing is a primitive way of communicating with someone of interest. Eyes meet, bodies flow together, and if you’re THAT sexy, you may even find yourself lucky enough to buy her a drink or two…or three! If you're one of those people who are typically called "wallflowers" and never dances, then chances are, you may miss out on meeting that special someone.