Living Proof

Ever notice when you talk to someone in a relationship or even someone who has gone through a recent breakup, the person usually will tell you that they are the "better half"? In a sense that says, "Well, I do everything right, while they always screw everything up," and those who've gone through a breakup will usually call their exes, "the evil ex". Nobody's ever "wrong" - because let's face it, they are the most angelic, generous, thoughtful partner anyone could ever have. We never want to be seen as the "mean partner" or the "evil ex" - it's either egotistical or just human nature, or are they both correlated? I don't know. Don't get me wrong, there are conscious and honest people out there who will say, "Oh man, I'm a huge pain in the ass," without thinking twice about it, but the majority will tell you, "I am innocent. Period." Truth is? Nobody's "innocent...

Nothing can bring you peace, but yourself. ~Ralph Waldo Emmerson Sincerity. It's a rarity these days. As I always thought, asking a simple, "how are you" doesn't require an answer any longer, in fact, it usually doesn't want one. A "how are you" is a another form of, "hello" - and if you do decide to expand on how you are doing , eyes will start rolling. Although I know there is an unwritten rule of the good ol' "how are you" - I will always ask you and expect a truthful answer. When I ask how you are - I wanna know the good and bad and I will always try to be of some help to you or just lend you an ear if you need to vent. I have found a few friends who are very sincere (not more than a handful mind you.) A little over a week ago I was going through some turbulent times. A good friend of mine recognized I wasn't quite myself and so, I decided to text her some bizarre message of the craziness that I was going through. She ...

Sometimes I look over at my dog and wonder what she's thinking. Does she even think at all? Does she have a thought process? Is she plotting against the squirrel out on the lawn? When it rains, she looks melancholy -  as if she's wishing her sunny days back, lying in some random sunbeam. Occasionally, she'll run up and jump on me, indicating she wants something. I have to walk and follow her in order to know what she needs. If she heads to the kitchen, she wants a treat. If she heads near the door, she needs to go out. Sometimes, it could be that she just wants to cuddle on the couch, so she'll pull my pant leg and steer me over to the sofa. Our communication isn't the best, we mess up and well, I have to clean up the occasional 'mess', but overall, it's pretty damn good. But this isn't about my dog, oddly enough. Have you ever wondered what someone in your life was thinking? It amazes me we have this precise language that we can tell others exactl...

Sometimes I just stare at my puppy in amazement. She has no cares in the world except if she needs to go out and do her business or if it's feeding time, which is quite often in her mind. She plays, lounges and occasionally barks relentlessly at some moth that she spotted across the yard. She relies on me for food, companionship, toys and cuddles when she gets sleepy. We put in a doggy door a few months back so she could have her freedom to go in and out of the house. We chicken wired the entire deck so she wouldn't slip out of the banisters God forbid. It's her 60 ft playpen. At times, she needs a little help coming inside for some reason, even though she is able to hop in and out of the doggy door with ease. Either she's tired, or she knows I'm working in my office (where the door is) and feels she's just too lazy to push through the rubber glass. I help her, regardless. Sometimes we all need help pushing through life's challenging doors. I wish I had th...

As I sit to write this post, I just had walk over and close the window because there's a log still smoldering out on the back patio from the fire pit we had last night. It's strange how something can burn for so long and yet the people who enjoyed the fire are long gone, at work and moving on with their day. Isn't that how it is with certain types of relationships, or better yet, breakups? There's always one person still 'burning' for their ex, sometimes it's mutual, most times it's not. And like the people who  enjoyed the fire pit, they have no clue that the log is still burning, trying to hide its embers, but if you're close enough to it, you can still see it smoking, waiting to be rekindled. The entire process is really sad, especially if the other person lets the fire go out because theirs did long ago. There's no point. Start a new flame. There are rare cases where the need to rekindle is inevitable, but for those who are still pining for...

Many times, I’ve found that it can be extremely difficult to write during certain periods of my life, especially when I was separated or going through a breakup, it was hard to write down all of my feelings and share it with the world. It was emotional, raw, angry, sad, vulnerable - all things that would make a writer “great”, or perhaps relatable. I remember I had written a post called, “Napkins”. Many people commented or emailed me about it, but one of my favorite writers had text me and said, “Wow, that was a really powerful post, Deb.” I deleted it because I didn’t want the person I spoke of to be worthy of my ‘ink’, or perhaps to have the feeling that she has some sort of faux power over me. The one thing I have that she didn’t was a medium to outlet my feelings and get advice and comments. Although it was such a long time after we parted, I would sometimes get overwhelmed by unanswered questions, lack of closure if you will. The reason why I’m writing this is because a wonderful...