Living Proof

Have you ever lost your zeal for life---you lost interest in the things you used to love to do? Your passions, hobbies and whatever it was that made you feel alive was no longer a priority---just a stagnant feeling of loss of one's self. Things like grief and depression of any sort can tear away our will to keep doing our best. It happened to me when I lost my parents. I lost my laugh, I lost my desire to write music, play guitar, and I even lost some friends along the way due to my disinterest in life. They had nothing in common with me anymore. I remember a friend wanted to take me to this beautiful resort in Mexico to go parasailing and relax in our own private pool. My heart said yes, but my spirit was too numb to even catch on how emotionally and spiritually healing this would've been for me. I stopped having parties, I stopped visiting my friends...I stopped socializing as I once used to. So here's my list of how I became free from my own mental prison: Put Down The S...

Most of us are afraid of letting go of the things we love, whether it's a person, place, past experience, grief and even the illusion of having some type of control. There's a twisted psychological truth in that some of us actually accept or even "enjoy" the feeling of negative emotions. This is why when some people are sad or crying, they'd most likely listen to sad songs. It amplifies the emotion, making them feel validated. "Wow, someone else relates!" People want to be understood and have others empathize with them, even if it's through literature or music. They refuse to get it through real in person encounters. It can make them feel "weak," when actually, vulnerability is the strongest element in a person. Not many are able to become vulnerable. But then again, why trust other people with your business? I occasionally blast it out publicly, to let you know that you're not alone. Personally speaking, I've suffered with anxiety...

The way you treat others says a lot about what kind of person you are. The way you talk about others says a lot about you as well. It also shows that part of you that lacks love and needs healing. When someone is speaking badly about someone else's appearance, I look at that person (even if they are beautiful on the outside) and see nothing but the ugliness on the inside. It's a huge indication their own self-image isn't the best. Even when I'm having a bad day with my own self-image---because let's face it, we all get insecure from time to time---how is downing another person's outward appearance going to make you feel or look any better? No matter who you're talking to, that person is already judging your character. Watch your opinions, especially around people you respect. Hurt People Hurt People Treating people poorly also can show how hurt you've been in the past. Hurt people hurt people. If you have a reputation of being mean, unfair, extremely con...

Many people underestimate the grief associated with a divorce or a breakup. This can even be with severed ties with a good friend. Everyone's different, and everyone grieves differently. But the power of a separation can truly destroy a person. Also, a separation can either make or break the relationship. So when your mind is set on, "He/she will never call me," ---don't bank on that. The void of your absence will either show one or two things: how much they missed and loved you, or how okay they are without you. That doesn't mean they don't love you---they probably still do. Sometimes a circumstantial situation can create a lack in contact. For instance, personally speaking, I've always told my spouse 30 years ago, I would never marry a cop or soldier. I respect them and thank them for their service, but I don't want to see two officers come walking up to my door and tell me the worst news imaginable, nor do I want to bite my nails off every time I se...

Sometimes, people can really disappoint us. Maybe you found yourself in an argument that burned out of control like a wildfire, where there seemed to be no hope for forgiveness nor reconciliation. Words are powerful and usually unforgettable. You start reading or watching videos about "toxic people" or "narcissism"---but be careful how you diagnose someone, because it may have been a knee-jerk reaction toward a previous action. Too many people use these terms to justify what these people have done to them. Many of us like to play victim and use these terms to make the other person look or feel bad. But technically, not everyone who hurts you is in fact, a narcissist.  Here are my 4 ways to truly forgive. You may not agree with my methods, but they work for me, even if there is zero reconciliation whatsoever.  Apologize Anyway This method works well, because you're acknowledging and apologizing for your reaction. That's OKAY---it's not like you're say...

Over the years I learned a lot about people. I'm pretty intuitive when it comes to people's energy. I'm not talking ~witchcrafty~ intuitive---I'm talking about true discernment. Don't get it twisted. You can tell a lot about how someone treats you, as well as if they prioritize you in a certain way. Keep in mind---people have busy lives and sometimes can't prioritize you for whatever reason. It doesn't mean they don't care for you or have your best interest at heart. I'm talking about those who make you a last resort sort of option. The kind of person I'm talking about will most likely avoid calling you, meeting up with you, however, they will send you a million videos from Instagram and Tiktok---(or as my gen-x lingo would have it, a "chain letter" of sorts---junk mail if you will.) They'll never just ask, "Hey, how are you?" You may see them at events, or bump into them and they'll spare a few minutes, but that's...