Showing posts from May, 2018

Grief & Loneliness

As I've been back and forth between a couple of grief support groups, I'm learning a main theme among everyone who has lost someone dear to them: loneliness and abandonment. I'm not even speaking of feeling abandoned by the deceased loved one -- it's abandonment from friends, family, acquaintances, etc. People seem to just leave your life just. like. that. I couldn't believe all of these people felt the same way I did. When I was caregiving for my mother, my friends would either come over, or sometimes we'd meet them for a drink or two -- nothing major, but they were still in my life. After the funeral, and after all of the "condolences" and "I'm here if you need to talk" kind of gestures, it was as if every single person drove off into the sunset to never return again. It's approaching the one year mark since my mother died and I've only spent a handful of times with my own siblings. I seriously thought that it would be the tot

Taking a Breather

Stress can be really strange as far as symptoms go. I mean, I can't tell you how many times I've had the 'good ol' panic attack' -- but that's expected sometimes. Other times, it's insomnia and myoclonic jerking before I fall asleep, while in some cases, it's strange heart palpitations from my adrenaline rushing way too fast for my heart to keep up. I've been checked out by a cardiologist to rule out anything serious. But lately, my symptoms have been different. I noticed that I've bene fitting into my old clothes, but with a high cost. I'm not dieting either, trust that. Some days, I can't even get out of the house because I need a bathroom nearby. See where I'm heading with this one?... Of course I can freak out, go to the doctor and wonder if I have some sort of disease --- but it's stress. I remember a few years ago, a friend of mine came over for dinner. She used to be very curvy -- a thicker frame like myself. When she wal

Memories, Prayers & Healing

If you suffer with anxiety or depression and/or experiencing grief and loss, you already know that feeling -- like a sense of impending doom -- or a heavy sense of dread that seems to overtake you. Sometimes, it's all you can do to get out of bed, while other times, you have a little bit of fight left in you. And that's all you need. I got a phone call at 8am the other morning asking for mother. I'm no longer being super polite, muttering out, "I'm sorry, she's deceased. How can I help you?' These days, I just say two words: "She's dead," just so I can hear the awkward silence on the other end of the phone. I'm just fed up with the amount of calls I get asking for her -- mostly from scammers trying to prey on the elderly. Then there are the calls about our ancestral home, which kind of tugs at my heart a little. I thought we'd be in a better place financially, so that we could pay off the reverse mortgage my father took

Deb's Home Remedies & Medicinal Advice -- Proceed With Caution

DISCLAIMER : I am not a doctor, nor play one on the internet. This information is based upon my own experience, as well as intense research on the web. Can't trust everything you read on the web. If you're reading this article and need emergency medical attention, CALL 911 AND GO TO THE ER!!! Please proceed with caution. I'm only someone who suffers with aggravating ailments like anybody else who has found some pretty cool solutions. Cheers! And please let me know if any of these remedies worked for you! A few of my viewers over on Periscope Live had asked me to write an article based on a broadcast I had done a few months ago about my home remedies and experience with medicines. Yes, this is a bit unconventional, but everything I have experienced and researched has saved me---literally. I couldn't believe how many people came in just to hear about what I've experienced. Maybe I'm a bit over-zealous about medication and that it's just my anxiety that m

Why Does Anxiety Keep Us Awake All Night?

Why has sleep become one of the hardest things we can do? Millions of people suffer from insomnia, waking up every hour, or falling asleep to wake up and then to only  stay up. In my case, I suffer from what's called, "myoclonic hypnic jerks and seizures." This is purely from anxiety. I have been a couple of sleep studies to show that nothing medically is wrong with me. In a strange way, I wish they did find something wrong with me so that I can at least address it. The thing is, with this unknown "mystery diagnosis" that stems from anxiety, it is the hardest thing to fix. It's like a doctor telling you "it's just a spider bite." They basically just labeled "anxiety" onto my chart and sent me off with a prescription of Klonopin that I never filled out. I don't have sleep apnea, nor any other type of sleeping disorders. So why is it so hard for us to fall asleep or to even stay asleep? Whether people admit to this or not, anxiet