Living Proof

Suffering with anxiety disorder isn't easy. There are so many lovely accessories to go with it, like depression, self-medicating and doctors who are too lazy to treat their patients with effective therapy, writing a prescriptions all day and hoping for the best. Like me, not everyone can take antidepressants due to their many side effects. I have to opt for 'talk therapy' and what's perceived as "cognitive behavioral therapy", when it's only some guy who's heard probably 20 people before you whine about similar things just staring at you nodding or asking you, "So how do you feel about that?" I started reading books and articles online. I have learned so much from reading that by now, I should have a fricken degree. I have the type of anxiety whereas if I feel a tinge of pain in my jaw or left arm, I'm off to the hospital getting the works done: EKGs, blood tests, stress tests, you name it. If I experience swelling anywhere (like puffin...

Yesterday was quite a day. The morning started out ok: had breakfast with my partner, cleaned the house, did some work and right after a phone conversation with a friend, I started to get severe chest pains. I’ve had many types of chest pains before- but this one was different. This started from my chest and made a beeline all the way down to my hands. Every jolt traumatized me. I finally collapsed and thought I should call 911, but instead I called Madelene. The last time I called 911, they charged me $500 for a ride down the road. No thanks. Madelene picked me up and we drove 10 mph to the hospital. I love Madelene dearly, but the woman drives like an old bitty. It’s her heart that counts, right? Or is it mine??? Anyway, we’re slowly making our way into purgatory, or I should say, the ER when she comes up with this question: "Do you think it's gas?" This isn’t going to look too good because now I’m getting irritated by her questions. Surprisingly, they rushed me in rig...