Living Proof

Poetry is personal. I even want to compare it to the bible because it has so many interpretations and possible meanings to it. Each person who reads one poem will have a different take on it after they have read it. I’ve always found myself drawn to the type of poetry that has a bit of play on words and a grip on the heartstrings. One of those types where you can say, “everyone can relate” type of poetry. I’ve been to poetry readings, finding myself tilting my head sideways like a Golden Retriever wondering if this person is trying a bit too hard to construe their words into a bundle of challenging metaphors and words hardly ever used in the English language. During a trip in Provincetown, MA, I found myself grimacing while it got more politically offensive as I was the only one sitting amongst extreme liberal lesbians standing on the right side of the room. I had to decline an invitation from my friend Lisa during that trip to go to another poetry reading. I had told her to meet...

A long period of my adult years were spent living in a little apartment above from my parents, if you want to call it that. Granted, it had two bedrooms, two living rooms an office, plus a full bathroom, but when you walked downstairs, it was lacking a door to separate the two sections in order to make it officially private. There was a huge deck that overlooked three neighboring towns and a lake which was breathtaking. The fact that I’m pretty close with my parents, and best friends with my mom made it that much nicer. The only problem or, (problems) were that #1. My parents both smoke like chimneys, which made it difficult in the winter when my asthma flared up and #2. My mother never really took my writing seriously. She thought freelance work was something retired people did - not for someone in their late twenties begging publishing houses to at least read their manuscripts. But it was okay for a while. It helped a great deal to stay home for a while and save some money as w...

Maybe it’s the reflux problem I’m having, but people are annoying me more than ever lately. I do realize that I get very irritable when I feel sick or extremely tired, but sometimes, there is just no excuse for certain individuals. I’m going to start with dipshit #1. There is this guy that works for our management office who is absolutely bizarre and traveling along his own world. He’s about 60 years old or so, kind of muscular but a bit ratty looking. He arrives at the office about 7am with heavy gangster music blasting from his Dodge Durango. The man has white hair for the love of God and appears to be either Irish or ---just really white. Anyway, aside from my judgmental views of him, I’m watching him take a broom and push the water off the walkway that leads into management office. As he’s pushing the water aside, the heavy rain is falling back down to replace it all. I feel like opening my window right now and yelling down some a few choice words. Go inside and listen to yo...

It’s almost 9am and I’m sitting here with a cup of hot tea with honey and some toast. I can barely swallow because it hurts. I’ve always had a problem with heartburn in my life. I had an ulcer years ago which healed under a doctor’s care, but last night those pangs of agony struck again, as I found myself clutching my neck and chest screaming in pain. It was then I noticed that my scream was more like a loud whisper. I had lost my voice a bit and the burning sensation was awful. I took a Zantac to reduce the acid and it seemed to calm down a tad. Now I’m sitting here with the damaged goods, trying to swallow toast and having a difficult time. Acid Reflux Disease, also know as GERD ( Gastroesophageal Reflux Disease ) is so common among many people, but if left untreated can be actually really dangerous, in fact, even deadly. It can range from having surgery to even esophageal cancer. Most people pop an antacid and forget about it. But, it’s been way too long and I’ve had my shar...

The good thing about blogging is, when I’m transferring clips into other programs or onto an external hard drive to save, it can be quite time consuming. I sit and wait. ..and wait...and wait. Luckily, I have this blog to kill time with, and of course, waste approximately 5 minutes of your life as well. Being that freelance work pretty much means that you have to be disciplined if you want to make any sort of money out of it, I have to push all temptations aside, like going out to breakfast with a friend or if I’m rambunctious, heading off to the gym. This morning I was invited to go canoeing with my friend Barbara who runs a nearby restaurant called, Al Laghetto right on Mombasha Lake, which enables her some flex time in the mornings which is great. I read her message and stopped everything. I wanted to go, but I had so much work in front of me that I was all geared up to do. If I would have left it, it would have sat for another 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 days. The foliage is at its peak...

This morning I woke up early, brewed some coffee and made breakfast for Madelene. She works on Saturdays, which are her high-intense sale days. I always feel bad she has to go in on Saturdays, so I am always up when she is, trying to make her feel at ease before she rushes into the world of rude rich people and nasty customers complaining about their $100k car. She has a lot of pressures at work, but finally, she is at a place that respects her time and pays her what she deserves as a hardworking woman. She sometimes hides her stress from me when she comes home at night. Her reasoning: because she doesn’t want to bring work home. But if she can’t vent when she’s home, then where can she vent? Her stories about her line of work is interesting because everyone buys or leases cars every so often, and they like to hear the ins and outs of a car dealership. I’m always trying to make our home a place of peace; a place where she can walk through the door, see the fire roaring, warm up ...

There are times I find myself being surrounded by people who love to argue, just for the sake of arguing. They can’t let it go. I’m not even talking about heated arguments - I’m talking about people who just disagree with you in order to challenge your beliefs or factual basis’ upon certain issues. I found myself sitting in my shrink’s office, when he had asked me, “So, have you been keeping up with current events?” He knows that my views are a bit extreme to have a “normal” conversation with someone who may be leaning toward the left, as well as those who are not of the Christian faith. My politics go hand-in-hand with my beliefs in Christianity, so I just keep tightlipped about it these days. Instead of politics, I just rambled off the news I had heard that day regarding three people dying in a sweat lodge over in Arizona. “It’s two.” He said, in a very irritated tone. “What?” “There were two people who died - not three. Where do you get your news?” “I heard three.”   I sa...

H appiness doesn’t come in a gift box guaranteeing you a lifetime warranty full of bliss. I know this, because I suffer from bouts of depression from time to time and more often than not. I guess with age, I’m realizing that happiness starts with “you”. I’ve noticed that if I view the world (or my world) in a positive way, my attitude becomes just that. It’s easier said than done. I’m trying. I used to focus so hard on the ‘extreme-type’ of happiness, like finding the perfect higher paying job, owning a big house or obtaining the perfect relationship, but instead of focusing in on the monetary and uncontrolled types of things, I've tried just being content with “me”.  For me, it wasn’t about controlling or stifling your emotions, it was more about seeing things for what they are. It was looking beyond the happiness that “may” come out of all of these things and looking outside admiring the foliage on a crisp cool fall day, or enjoying a hot mocha latte from your favorite ca...

In fear of sounding like an alarmist, I just want to say that I’m only asking questions here and that I don’t necessarily feel one way or the other ...just yet. Yesterday, I went online and checked out the schedule for my local pharmacy’s flu vaccination times. I have acute asthma, which is triggered greatly by the flu or irritants, such as smoke, mold spores and chemically induced vapors, especially pet hair and dander. I sometimes even find myself in the emergency room hooked up to a nebulizer machine and electrolyte and anti-inflammatory bags, along with a high dose of steroids. With the wonderful combination of uppers and downers provided, it’s enough for me to say: “Gimme’ the flu shot NOW!”   The thought of the H1N1 virus is quite alarming to me, as to most of us, however from what I’ve been hearing, this vaccine isn’t something to take lightly. While Googling through many websites, I’ve found tons of what it seemed to appear as anti-conspiracy theories of many articles and...

Have you ever made a conscious decision to maintain friendship with someone you particularly don’t care for? What I mean is - have you ever stayed friends with someone out of reasons of guilt, or feeling that you “should” be friends with them because they’re inside your circle of friends? There are people that we’re going to like and not so like. It happens. Sometimes you just have to wonder: is it all worth it?  See, my problem is that there are people in my circle of friends that I may highly disagree with on certain topics, but when it gets down to brass tacks and that person starts preaching to me as if it was the end all be all ---I tend to run. I understand that I’m always going to find myself disagreeing with certain things about opinions and whatnot and vise/versa, because let’s face it - that’s life, but when someone is so in your face about something, it’s time to step out of that circle and pluck that one weed that’s been strangling your daisy. Facts are facts and opinio...

It’s been a couple of days of taking a vacation from our vacation. Although we loved where we stayed, it was also nice to sleep in our own bed again. The one thing I’ve noticed is that during our stay in MA, everywhere we went, we had lots and lots of walking to do - which was great. We lost some weight on this trip, but still managed to indulge in seafood galore up to our gills. Now I’m just trying to keep up with the walking the best I can in order to maintain it. I have to admit, it’s hard when you don’t have street entertainers or a few drag queen and comedians to pass by, but I’m sure something amusing will cross my path, or...chase me like that goddam pug every once in a while in my neighborhood. Our filming project was better than expected. I managed to get a lot of footage. I haven’t even started the editing process as of yet because I’m still organizing each interview individually and placing them on CDs as a ‘to do list’ at a later date. Some of the interviews were very ...

Today I am taking a vacation from my vacation and spending some time at home just resting, but I wanted to throw a couple of videos to show you how much fun Provincetown, MA is. We had a great time, a wonderful anniversary celebration and such an incredible filming experience as far as the documentary. In fact, we have changed our entire theme of our documentary to cater to gay Christians, including a heartfelt interview with Rev. David L. Clarke, our minister who married us. We're so excited about this more than ever, because this will give a voice to those who have been struggling with their sexuality and trying to justify their religious beliefs to those who condemn them. I'll be traveling to different locations filming bits and pieces of this, but it'll be all worth it! It may take months, but I'm putting my entire heart and soul into this, because this is something as you all know, that I hold close to my heart. But for now, enjoy some of the fun clips I have...

The time has come where we are approaching out big project - our documentary about stereotypes and labels, and how it affects many of us. This film will show how unique each individual is, regardless of gender, orientation or religion. We're trying to grab our audience's attention and trying to show them that being transgender has nothing to do with sexual orientation. We're trying to bust the myth that all bisexuals are polyamorous. We are seeking one bisexual male or female who is strictly monogamous with whoever they are with. We're also seeking a feminine lesbian who gets comments such as, "Oh she's not a 'real' lesbian", just because she's a girly girl. We have gay ministers as well as guest star appearances which is going to make it that much more fun! So if this describes you - please email me at deb@debrapasquella.com ... We'll be leaving this Thursday for Provincetown, MA do start out project, as well as enjoy our annive...

The other day I was asked if I had any “straight friends”. It was apparent that this person had not seen beyond the small scope of my sexual orientation, but rather, she chose to see what she wanted to see. My answer of course, was a “yes”, however my wife and I mingle with anyone who we click with - not just because of a sexual orientations.   Many heterosexuals feel that the gay and lesbian community only surround themselves with “their own kind” - which kind of sounds like some bizarre species of sorts, but that is so far from the truth with me. In fact, most of my interactions and are with straight people and not because I choose to, but because I focus more on the person and not their preferences.  Most of my readers are straight. But the thing is, I never even thought about it, until this person had asked that question. For me, I don’t think, “gay”, “straight”, “bisexual”, “transgender”, or “polyamorous”. I don’t care what people do, or who they choose to love or even if th...

For me, writing has always been a great therapeutic outlet. It has also been a great sounding board to where many other writers and readers will interact and tell their opinions about whatever the topic is about. During the years, I have been friends with Tamar , a long distance runner, who had decided to put her running experiences and short stories of her own onto a blog. We initially met as coworkers at the phone company back in 1999. I remember Tamar showing me her short stories printed out on a piece of paper, or written in an email about what she had experienced while running on the trails nearby. I couldn’t put down the stories - I was addicted to her writing. She then had written other stories that I was so excited to read because through her experiences, she made it entertainment for everybody reading it. It was then I suggested that she should write it all out on a blog and have a little site to jot all of her incredible stories on. It’s not all about running either, t...