Living Proof

A long time ago when I was around 11 years old, I had this boy named "Mikey" on my bus ride home from school, taunting me and pulling my book bag straps. He wouldn't stop. I was fuming, but also at the verge of crying too. I really couldn't figure out his motive, but in my mind, I plotted and schemed his impending demise, because his stop also happened to be my stop. I made sure to get off the bus before him, so I could sucker punch him right in the face. And I did. This was totally out of character for me - I wasn't a bully or retaliated so violently before, but this time was different. He fell down, but quickly got right back up. My mother was at the bus stop waiting for me, holding her face screaming, "Stop!" He ran up to me and hit me right in the head, as I kept punching him, left-right-left-right. I was so angry that I started to pick up a ton of shale that was on the driveway and started throwing stones at him. Talk about barbaric. The kid ran ...

I'd like to think that I give people the benefit of the doubt when it comes to human nature type of b.s. in life, but sometimes it's frustrating when you get hit with a brick again and again and again . I 'get' human psychology and the way most minds work: when frustrated about yourself, you may try and drag someone else's self-esteem down with you. Usually, if someone is very insecure about themselves, whether all the time, or even just once in a while, this kinda of crap happens. I'm guilty of it too, where I'm a moody bitch just because I don't feel good about myself. It happens. But when does it come to the point where your self-esteem is so low, that you actually feel better by insulting another person for whatever reason? And the passive aggressive ones are the worst because they can always backtrack their blows by saying, "Oh, you just took it the wrong way…" Did I? The worst is when someone tries to "insinuate" somethin...

Betrayal to a woman seems to be more detrimental than it is to a man. Women are emotional creatures with softer hearts, or seemingly so. They absorb so much and at times, they never let the absorption dry up, or for a lack of better terms, forgive; to let go. Betrayal can be many things. It can be finding out your husband or wife cheated on you. It can be finding out that a friend has spoken unkindly about you to another person. It can be finding out that your secrets have been revealed by someone you trusted with all your heart. Forgiving and forgetting are sometimes hard to do. You can either forgive, but the forgetting part is still going to hold onto that heart of yours. So how can we truly forgive someone when we're finding it difficult to forget? Madelene asked me yesterday, "Oh, you still talk to her?" She was referring to someone who had betrayed my trust at one time. I said, "Yeah, it's okay. I just won't tell her anything personal, that's all...