Living Proof

They say women are more complicated than men in terms of emotional and intellectual ways. We're over thinkers and obsess more than the average guy. But we're also more complicated in other ways, especially when it comes to a heart attack. For men, they get a chest pain. Bam! Heart attack. Simple. Easy to diagnose. For women, they can have a slight back pain, and that'll be the indicator of a heart attack. It's known as the "silent killer". We also get various other signs: jaw pain, chest pain that radiates in one or both arms and even good ol' heartburn. There's another ailment that plagues many hypochondriacs such as myself like costochondritis, which is an inflammation of a rib or the cartilage connecting a rib. It is a common cause of chest pain. I get this a lot, especially if I sleep on my left side at night. This pain is a sharp stab, usually in the upper left pectoral muscle which periodically hits a nerve that leads right down my arm into my ...

As much as I joke around about my crazy hypochondriacal life, a lot of frustration is involved with the anxiety which is the "probably" the root of the problem. We all fear death. We all fear illnesses and pain, but when does it come to the point of losing your marbles over every single ache and pain?  My mind says (and so does WebMD) that the chest pain I'm having is linked to a possible heart attack. When in doubt, check it out, right? Who wants to mess with a possible heart attack? Some people, like myself who have GERD or some underlining bogus diagnosis of costochondritis live with periodic intense pain that comes from the chest, sometimes radiating into an arm (usually the left for me) . So, how am I to know this isn't the big ticket into heaven? (I'm assuming heaven.) For instance, the other night I'm about to go to bed. I slip into my comfy PJs and cuddle up to my wife and our little chihuahua. We were about to watch a movie when all of the sudden...

As I sit here and type, every joint in my fingers, hands, arms are going 'clickity-click-click'. I've been having joint pain really bad lately. It then progressed into my elbows, spine, legs, knees, ankles, toes - you get my drift. I found myself literally stuck in my bed screaming for help one morning. But let me just backtrack to last Friday. My sister came over with her two adorable dogs, which Lola goes nuts for. They're now a little 'pack'. My sis (being the little athlete she is) runs all three dogs up our incredibly hilly driveway and into the woods. Lola. loves. it. Anytime I say, "Is Aunt Carla coming over?" She'll immediately jump up and look for her out on the deck. As we were watching the dogs play together, we decided to take the little party over back to my sister's house. After a few cocktails, I found myself having the guts to walk the trails with my sister and the three dogs. Not only did I overexert myself because I haven...

Whenever I'm stressed out, it manifests into something funky - like a weird ailments: pseudo chest pains, arthritic paralysis and all that fun stuff that brings me shuffling to the doctors or the emergency room.  When am I not stressed out? Last week, I woke up with this huge lump under my ear that extended down to the middle of my neck. The pain was absolutely excruciating. It felt hot and tender to the touch. I thought it must have been the q-tip that broke inside my ear a few months back and got infected. (Don't ask.) In my mind, all I kept saying to myself was, "It's near my brain! I'm gonna die!" My hypochondriacal manias started to kick in and I started dialing my primary care physician to get an emergency appointment. No ER for me, because well, it's flu season and hell if I'm gonna walk into a germ-infested environment and risk being sick. Not that a doctor's office is any cleaner, but at 8am, people are usually there for blood tests. The...

My mom left me this funny message on Thanksiving morning, reminding me to preheat my oven. I thought it was the cutest thing, so I started saving her voice mails and adding them to videos. The very last video is my personal favorite. It reminds me of why I should never take advice from mom, even though I love her dearly. All of these videos are short. VIDEO 1: Thanksgiving Day VIDEO 2: A Post Thanksgiving Reminder---What To Do With Your Leftovers VIDEO 3: The Hospitalization of Both My Parents Good news... They're both doing well and home resting.

Yesterday was quite a day. The morning started out ok: had breakfast with my partner, cleaned the house, did some work and right after a phone conversation with a friend, I started to get severe chest pains. I’ve had many types of chest pains before- but this one was different. This started from my chest and made a beeline all the way down to my hands. Every jolt traumatized me. I finally collapsed and thought I should call 911, but instead I called Madelene. The last time I called 911, they charged me $500 for a ride down the road. No thanks. Madelene picked me up and we drove 10 mph to the hospital. I love Madelene dearly, but the woman drives like an old bitty. It’s her heart that counts, right? Or is it mine??? Anyway, we’re slowly making our way into purgatory, or I should say, the ER when she comes up with this question: "Do you think it's gas?" This isn’t going to look too good because now I’m getting irritated by her questions. Surprisingly, they rushed me in rig...