Living Proof

You could imagine the look on my face when I heard a mother telling her teenaged daughter, “That looks just awful. You look like a lesbian.” The young girl walked out of the dressing room, swirling in front of the mirrors, hoping the black buttoned down dress shirt fit properly. The mother kept on, “They’ll think you’re a lesbian, between the short spiky hair and a man’s dress shirt.” The girl just sighed and then rushed back into the dressing room embarrassed. The mother shot me a look to see if I was listening. Our eyes connected. “Right? Doesn’t she look like one of those lesbians?” I smiled and said, “Nothing wrong with looking like one. What does a lesbian look like anyway?” “You know, those girls who cut their hair really short and wear men’s clothing. It’s awful for a woman to do that to themselves.” “Ah well, if they’re happy, I don’t see a problem with it.” I said, not looking straight at her. “Being a lesbian is no life to live, especially for my daughter. She was raised ...

While putting together part of my documentary and trying to organize all the pieces to the puzzle, I began to realize that I was missing an important segment of the film. I contacted the entertainer who was previously interviewed by us to ask if I had given her the wrong footage, and she said something that made sense - something I already knew - but all the more reason to move full steam ahead on this on my own. She said, “You do need a crew. Not only to help you channel your vision, but to help you fan the flames of your brilliance. I believe in you and know that the footage is somewhere!” Hours later I did find my footage, through the rubble of my madness, but her words kept taunting me a bit. I admit, it would be a helluva' lot easier working with a crew, but between the possible weakening of control and my shoestring budget, I doubt that’s going to happen anytime soon. On the other hand, if I found some creative minds to work with, perhaps people who are very much into film...

Words are powerful. Many people don’t even realize how much power they have when they open their mouths. Whether it’s a verbal attack on a stranger, friend or a loved one ---they’re all painful. At the age of thirteen when I was in school, I was verbally attacked by someone I was actually friends with. Of course, we were fighting at the time, but those words.. .those insults.. .those ugly remarks that twisted like a knife in my stomach. Those words still echo today. On occasion, I still sometimes see this person. We’re in our mid-thirties now, but there’s a level of contention that brings back flooding memories of a time when it wasn’t so ‘cordial’ as it is today. Even though I’ve already forgiven this person years ago , and hey - we were very young anyway - the child inside me is still wounded. If thought about long enough, it can actually bring me to tears. In fact, to even give you a better picture, I can tell you word for word what she said ...but I won’t. I just remember the ...

You’ve said it, I’ve said it, we’ve all said, “I want I want I want I want ______ .” Either we’re not happy with where we’re at or we just want more of what we already have. It’s called being human, and unfortunately, once we have grasped everything that we’ve ever wanted in life, our dreams start dissipating into thin air. What do we keep striving for? For someone who has everything, can you imagine what dreams they still have left? Do they start seeking out other things for gratification other than materialistic and monetary items, like having affairs or dipping into drugs or alcohol to make them feel differently? I’ve always wondered about this, until one day it finally hit me: what if we are here to make every single moment of our life count? Okay, so you want to get from point A. to point B. in your life, but what about the journey? What about all the little things in between? Even if you have all the money in the world, what about making a difference in somebody else’s life? Bu...

The other day, I read a tweet that said, “Hating others doesn’t show their weaknesses; it shows yours.” I couldn’t find the author of the quote, but I found it to be so true. For instance, if I don’t particularly care for someone, (which is worse than hating someone in my opinion), then I don’t look at their work or even take the time to critique it. I do find that people who “hate” others will take all the time in the world and take every opportunity to let that person know how much they are hated, as well as critiquing their work or whatever they do in life. “Hating” takes time and effort. It also takes a toll on the person who has all the hatred inside their heart. In my opinion, hatred stems from a lack of self-esteem, jealousy, resentment and/or something they hate about themselves. There are so many different areas where this can be applied, whether you’re a writer, an actor, a comedian or a successful businessperson, every. single. person. has a hater or two in their lives....

Our privacy is our biggest concern when we’re on the internet. We feel vulnerable and at times, we feel we’re being ‘watched’ by Big Brother. And we are. Depending on ‘who you are’, is a matter of if they’re paying attention or not. For instance, Google logs every single word you type into their search engines. It all gets saved on a huge database. Sometimes, it’s even used if an employee of Google sees, “how to commit suicide” or “I want to kill someone” - this will sometimes be a cause for alarm. What about the little guys like me who blog and have Site Meter or stat counter of some type? Many people who are not that familiar with how the internet works usually do not realize how much info they’re putting out there for people to see. This is one of the reasons why I was able to tell a blogger that I was in a heated debate with, how long he was on my website as well as how many page views he had. I told him what computer he was using, part of his ip address, as well as his internet pr...

While talking with a friend yesterday afternoon, I was telling her my distaste for people who basically try to ruin the moment, or something you’re enjoying at that particular time. I’ve had a few run ins with this. I’d like to say that I just sat there and ignored it, but 99% of the time I come out of my face and confront what they’re doing. On some subjects, the person may be absolutely right, but it’s just the wrong timing. ..or is it? For instance, if someone is eating a bucket of KFC --lay off the diet talk. It’s just that simple. We know that stuff is practically forming mounds on the hip area with each bite, but talking about diets is a no-no. If someone is a hypochondriac, try to stay away from topics such as symptoms of illnesses or medical talk. Their minds will run a million miles per minute. I know, I’m a hypochondriac myself. And, just because ‘you’ have a particular medical condition or allergy, does not mean the other person who is in your company needs to get checked ...

This isn’t our rights to free speech - this is terrorism, plain and simple. The Westboro Baptist Church (which goes under the website, www.GodHatesFags.com ) and Fred Phelps plan to picket at the funeral of a nine year old victim, Christine Taylor Green, who was shot during the attempted assassination of Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords by Jared Lee Loughner. In the video below, Phelps states that all the victims have died for the people of AZ and that it’s time to repent. “However many are dead, Westboro Baptist Church will picket their funerals. We will remind the living that you can still repent and obey.” Fred Phelps said in the video below, indicating that all the people who have been shot was a result of their sins. He also goes on to say, “This is ultimatum time with God. Except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish.” I’ve always wondered why the Westboro Baptist Church would hold picket signs thanking God for the tragic events of 9/11. It didn't have anything to do with a...

While having breakfast with my wife on Sunday morning, I received an email notifying me that I had a comment pending to be released onto my blog under “anonymous”. It was a response to my previous post . I decided to blog their comment, instead of releasing it onto the post he or she intended to place it on. I wanted to give it a full response. I do believe the person who put so much time, thought & passion into this comment is a coward since they didn’t even say who they were, not even a pseudo name given. The person did however write from Texas University though. (Copy & pasted.) “You can't honestly believe you are a christian lesbian is that the same as a christian crackhead? Its like oil and water....they don't mix AT ALL. How can you call yourself a christian and live a lifestyle that is totally against what God ordained? You are obviously unrepentant to your sin, which automatically excludes you from truly knowing God. When you are a true christian who loves God a...

The other night I was working on my third night with insomnia. Tossing and turning, I couldn’t manage to keep my eyes closed. Sleep doesn’t come easy for me at times, and when that happens, I usually take my pillow and blanket and head out into the living room to watch Sundance or anything that looks independently made. I’m not a big fan of HBO & Lifetime crap - give me IFC or Sundance any given day. While I was scanning around for a movie to watch, I fell upon La Mission. In a short summary, it’s a cute love story and drama about people who live out in the Mission district of San Francisco. You see how one man struggles with the fact that his son is gay. There is one scene that really floored me - when the father literally beat up his son on the street. The two of them on the sidewalk. ..on the ground. ..fighting because the father found out his son is gay. The most interesting response when the father asked about a few “questionable” photos he found of his son kissing another b...

Have you ever stopped to think about how different each and every person’s life is? I sometimes just stop, and put myself in somebody else’s shoes for a moment, or at least try to. I think about what it’s like to be them; to feel their emotions and take on their challenges. I think about each cross everyone has to bear and then think about my own. Usually, none worse than another, and in some cases... much worse than the other. I never rely on my gratitude on the downfalls of another, yet I try to gain perspective of all the things I have right now and all the things I can do while I’m still able. And yet, sometimes of all those thoughts go right down the drain and it’s back to “me me me” and all the complaints that go hand-in-hand with it. My friend Sadé Smith shared a quote on facebook by Joyce Meyer: “Complain and remain. Praise and be raised.” Even if you’re not religious, this quote is so true. If all we do is complain about our current situations, we’ll most likely remain in i...

There are so many articles and information on the symptoms of a heart attack. We all know the basic ones: pressure in the chest, chest pains, numbness/tingling radiating down the left arm, jaw pain, lightheadedness, palpitations and for some women, heartburn. The worst thing to do is to look up “symptoms” or “medical advice” on the internet while experiencing these things. Although I know it’s the worst thing to do, I. can’t. help. myself. It’s there. All the info you ever needed is right there in front of you, so why not? I cannot tell you how many times I have been to the emergency room this past year over symptoms that mimicked a heart attack. No joke - if I walked into the emergency room today, I would probably be greeted by name, almost like Norm on Cheers. “Hi Deb” , or, perhaps, “Welcome back!” Regardless, it’s all very frustrating and yet comforting that they all seem to know me very well. With some of the newer staff, I have to warn them about my anxiety and hypochondria....