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Showing posts from January, 2013

In a Funk?

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"Oh no! It's daylight again!" We all get down from time to time, it's normal. You feel sluggish, you don't want to get out of bed and your motivation is next to none. There are so many ingredients to depression that it's sometimes hard to pinpoint what's brewing. Whether circumstantial, chemical imbalance or SAD ( Seasonal Affective Disorder ), everybody deals with it one time or another. Usually, right after the holidays and all of the excitement, people are coming down from their 'high', which may explain why they're either grumpy or just downright gloomy. Then again, the holidays seem to bring many of us down as it is, which is strange because the holidays are supposed to be filled with "joy", but in many cases, not. With it being only six months on Christmas since I lost my Dad, I felt more numb than depressed. It felt strange. Every single member of my family brings in their own individual vibrant glow of their own, so when

"Jesus Said Women Are Dogs" - Per Stan Butler

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Meet Stan Butler  Recently, I came across a comment on my cooking blog from a man named, Stan Butler who follows me on Twitter . Under the name of " covnitkepr1 " he states, "Honestly...you're killing me...I want to lick the pictures on my desktop it looks so good..My first love is Jesus…then my wife of 45 years…then cooking. I really enjoyed looking over your blog. I am now a follower of yours. Feel free to look over my blog and become a follower of my blog also." So I took a look at his blog and read the first post available. One of the paragraphs that surprised me read, "In other words, in this scenario, animals are just simply put, smarter than we humans are. It all has its origin back in the very beginning when God tells us He created everything 'after its kind'. But man, when he reads such things, does not heed such things. After all, the word bestiality does exist for a reason." A bit baffled about where he was headed with this, I

Got Stress?

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For the most part, I'm willing to do some pretty strange things to relieve my anxiety, like watching some weird guy on Youtube talk in this 'serial killer-like' voice just to hypnotize me into a state of calmness. I even go as far as ordering a few I-Doser mp3s , which are binaural beat mixes that work into your brain subconsciously giving you a feeling of euphoria and other various feelings. Kids these days are using them to experience the feeling of marijuana and even cocaine --- sounds horrible, right?  But, it's 100% safe. They do simulate the feeling due to the binaural effects to our brainwaves. I remember one night I wanted to experiment with one. I never did drugs before and knew I-Dosers were safe, so I downloaded "Acid". At first, I felt very calm, almost as if I was floating. Then, in the middle of the track, I felt my bed move a little. Then it started shaking. It wasn't shaking because Mad was watching TV while I had my earbuds on and she s

Before You Count My Money, Step Inside My Old Shoes

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As far as I can remember, I have never doubted anyone's ability to do whatever it is they wanted. I questioned if they really wanted that, but never doubted "ability" alone. People are capable of great accomplishments and goals, and I do believe it's all determined on how bad they want it, and of course a whole lotta' motivation. The odd part about this is, I've always doubted myself. "Ugh, I'll never be able to reach that" or "I'll never be able to get from point A. to point B. fast enough," and sometimes, at all. That's when I sabotage my own abilities. Even small things (in my eyes) I have been doubted for. Financially, I have been doubted for making it out in the world on my own: Conquered.  Financially and ability-wise, I have been doubted I could renovate our home fast enough to live in: Conquered. Career-wise, I have been doubted I could make money doing what I love or even grabbing the smallest of a fan base:

The Backscratcher

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The past year or so I have noticed a lot. I've noticed the people around me and those who never really kept in touch. I've seen people come out of the woodwork for no other reason than to be kind, generous and helpful. I've seen the good in people and the not so good in others. Between an old friend who offered to renovate part of my home for free (which is never expected), to those who have simply offered a helping hand in anything they had seen me struggling with. "The good in me seeks the good in you." --Joel Gardner (1942-2007) An acquaintance of mine wrote this on his Twitter account. His father, Joel Gardner used to say this to him. You can read his story here . Everyone said his father was a good man. I remember being at my father's funeral. People came up to me and repeatedly stated, "He was a good man, Deb." Flaws and all, my Dad never stopped giving. He helped people without expectations. He would give you his last dime or pull you out of

Gun Control & Fear

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As Obama enforces tighter gun control, there are so many people panicking over this. Although I do believe the right to bear arms, for sportsmanship, hunters and of course, protecting your home, I don't see the logic in owning assault weapons typically used in the military. But there's a much larger picture here: fear. It's not even the mainstream type of fear -- fear of burglary, intruders or even an animal attack --- this is fear of catastrophic events. As we all sit and wait for the big zombie apocalypse, this even goes beyond that. After Hurricane Sandy, the lack of gas, water, supplies, etc., I was surprised over the behavior of many who were willing to throw fists at the next person on line for gas. Gas meant electricity, hot water and means of transportation for many people. It meant "life". I heard one guy talking to his friend the other day about how the world is going to need assault weapons in order to protect their family when the new world order tak

Disheartening & Tragic

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Just like you, I was totally disheartened by the tragedy of Sandy Hook. I'm not even a parent, yet felt the heartache of "my child" being killed days before the holidays. Unopened presents under the Christmas tree, empty bedrooms with all of their toys, stuffed animals and belongings still lingering, and of course, the media and social networking sites showing the faces of those whose lives were taken so tragically. How could you not cry over this? I thought about the vulnerability of the schools that my little nephew and two nieces attend. I thought about how terribly heartbroken I would be if this happened here. That mindset of "Oh this would never happen here," is now a mindset of, "When is it going to happen?" I was nauseated by not only what the media was showing, but my own thoughts, fears and yes, anger. I was however, glad that at most, only two photos (images and not footage) of the tragedy was shown. Maybe it was just to respect the childre

Breaking Point

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Everyone has a breaking point with any type of circumstance in life. Whether it's dealing with a crabby boss, having issues with your spouse, struggling to make ends meet or a huge life change due to loss of a loved one, (which is my biggest challenge at the time). There are two types of breaking points: the breaking point where you finally throw in the towel and give up completely and let it defeat you, or the breaking point that sets your mind and ambition to change your situation, or at least do something more productively to offset it. I'd like to say that I opt for the second one, but sometimes I fall into category #1 and completely shut the world out, including myself. I decided that I was done moping around, still mourning (will always mourn for my dad), but instead of sacrificing my own happiness, I'll take care of myself so I can help others in some way. Baby steps. I started cycling again every morning, sometimes reaching 7-10 miles (which is like 3 miles in tre

The Flu Vaccine: A Personal & Political Choice

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Years ago, I remember getting rejected for the flu shot. The doctor would always say that it was only for young children, elderly people and those with compromised immune systems. I pointed out that I had asthma to which always threw me straight into the hospital once the flu hit. So they included me in the "chronic illness" category. While I never got the flu again after the shot, I stopped taking the shot after doing research on it. Between side effects, long term effects as well as not even being remotely effective due to "educated guesswork" to determine which strain of the flu "may" be hitting the nation --- I was out. Let the young and elderly have the shot. I never got the flu after that until the H1N1 hit us. I suffered through it, but had comfort in knowing I didn't have those awful chemicals in my system.  Read through some of the ingredients listed that's in the flu vaccine: "Formaldehyde, mercury, aluminum, thimerosal, animal byp

Do We Have a Choice?

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Do you ever find yourself cringing when you hear, "they did studies on, blah blah blah" on certain controversial topics? For instance, they did studies on the "gay gene" and whether or not being gay was a choice or if people were born that way. I remember a show (of course I forgot which) where they took a cadaver of a lesbian woman and compared her brain to the brain of a man. The makeup was almost identical. When placed next to a heterosexual female's brain, it was much different. Scientific studies and findings have not been actual proof of finding a "gay gene", or else those who strongly feel it's a choice would stop their argument. I personally don't care whether it's a gene or if it's a choice. In a religious standpoint and through reading much of what the scripture says --- being gay is not a sin. It's the sexual nature, (promiscuity) for both heterosexuals and homosexuals. The "immorality" of any type of sexual

The Blinking Cursor Ends

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For the longest time, I've been trying to write my second book. It's been challenging the last three years with my dad being sick and all. My emotions gave my writing ability a huge wall. Dad would always say, "Oh you gotta put this story in your book," but it wasn't my story. It was his. I'm jotting this book down in more of a lighthearted feel. That's how we were - all of us - lighthearted and laughing at our struggles in life. We never played the victim. That wasn't what our family was about. Dad would say, "I gave you excitement!" And he did. He begged me to write everything down, so with his wishes, I am collecting all of his stories as well as my own experiences to show you how life was for me as a kid and an adult. Of course, some names and places have been changed to protect the guilty. So please bear with me as I work on this next project. I'll be using this blog to vent out some of my frustrations about whatever. Until then,