Living Proof

Nothing truly stays the same, even if you're standing in the same place. I've learned a lot over the course of ten years, and still continually learning that change is inevitable. You can't stop change, you can't avoid it, however you can welcome it---even if it seems to be your worst nightmare. I didn't welcome the thought of my parents dying of cancer within 5 years of each other. I didn't welcome the change of losing my ancestral home and I certainly didn't welcome the intense amount of grief that came along with it. It's normal. It's the process. The only thing that saved me when both parents died was drawing nearer to God. My faith increased somehow, through miraculous signs, prayer and studying the Bible. My outlook on death sort of changed too. My acceptance increased---yes, I want mom and dad to be free of pain and living with our Lord. My own selfishness of trying to keep them here forever didn't work. It was letting go that truly open

It was 2pm and I was finally done packing up for our trip to the Jersey Shore. Mom surprisingly packed up all of her clothes and toiletries pretty quickly. I asked if I could help, but she never would let me. This would be our very last vacation together. It would also be her very last Mother's Day. She had recently received her six month life sentence from her oncologist. She was terminally ill and didn't tell me. While we were in the car driving down to the shore, the song, "Sign of the Times," from Harry Styles came on and she asked me to turn it up. She was never really interested in music---or at least music that was recently made. She said, "Debbie, listen to the words of this song. I love this song." And I did. But funny, because I didn't let the words sink in until she was gone. Mom used to say a lot of these phrases in this song. This song is poignant in many ways, especially saying that her end was near. She would often hear me crying, beca

Have you ever been welcomed into a circle of Christian friends who seem to publicly blare their faith around the world, and yet aren't familiar with the fundamentals of their own faith? I'm not saying you have to know every little piece of the Bible, but there has to be some level of love for others, just as the most important commandment in the Bible states: You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. It's funny, because I've always seen the "least expected Christian" to be the most giving, the most knowledgable, and even having much more faith, without having to belittle others. I think it's important that we as Christians should never judge another. The book of Romans talks about the dangers of criticism among Christians. "Accept Christians who are weak in faith, and don't arg

First off, I wanted to note that I was asked to write about this subject months ago. I was hesitant, only because I have a handful of friends who are into this stuff. I also dabble here 'n there, entertaining myself with conspiracy theories, but overall, there is usually zero proof of what's spread around the net, as well as zero disproof. This is why it's called a "theory." It's more about belief, or an assumption, rather than basing it on facts. And that's OK! Who knows---some or most may be true, but we'll never truly know. I really have no opinion on conspiracy theories, only because I tend to think up some wild things that are thrown back 'n forth and I've also seen contradictions in what's put out there, as opposed to what's assumed. My point: I'm guilty of believing in these things too, (as I put my tinfoil hat on.) Who Are More Prone to Believing in Conspiracy Theories? In my experience, I've known more Christians

A couple of therapists had told me, "But you don't look like the type who suffers with anxiety or even social anxiety. You look 'put together.'" That's actually the worst thing you can tell a patient. There are many smiles, many laughs and generous hearts who are walking around with wounded souls. A while back when I was working for this phone company, we had a monthly seminar/team meeting that would spark the fire again and keep us motivated. The manager who directed the meeting was always happy, always smiling and constantly encouraging us to be inspired, and look at challenges in a new light. I always wondered how she stayed so uber positive all the time. It was almost sickening. One morning while I was watching her 'cheer us on,' smiling and laughing throughout the meeting, I drifted off into a daydream and envisioned her having a complete mental breakdown. I don't know why I was thinking that because I would never wish that for anyone. But t

A death of a loved one can truly bring out different emotions in you, especially on the anniversaries of their passing. For myself, these anniversaries bring up an intense connection I've never fully experienced before. Whether the veil is thinner, or they're just closer to you spiritually, the communication you can receive (if you are conscious enough) is simply amazing. This past Sunday was my mom's second anniversary of her passing. That late afternoon, I grabbed my wine and sat outside to just sit and think about her and all of our wonderful memories. I thought I was hearing my neighbor play "Sailing" by Christopher Cross. The thing is, it wasn't my neighbor---it was in my own mind. I heard it word for word, including interludes and each individual instrument playing on inside my mind. It wasn't "me" thinking up this song---it was just playing as if someone turned on the radio. I thought back to when my mom was depressed when she was in her