Living Proof

Change. Is it really a bad thing? I think the biggest reason why people get depressed or develop anxiety is the constant change that happens to all of us at any given moment. It's the unpredictable nature of life that leaves our hearts unsettled. Change happened to me when I found out my father was diagnosed with cancer. And even though you watch a loved one going through the struggles of an illness, and realize that their time is coming to an end, the inevitable change is almost still the same as if someone left your life suddenly. Many would disagree with that, only because there's the element of preparation involved. Nonetheless, it's a huge change -- the change that your life will take on once someone you love and known has gone away for good. It doesn't feel "normal" and creates a sense of fear. It's just a "new normal" for many of us. Change can also mean a change in atmosphere -- a big move (whether moving on up or moving on down),...

The one thing I have learned over the past decade or so is that you cannot change people. You can only change yourself and the way you perceive an issue or situation that you may not care for. I can't tell you how many times I have seen people complain about their own significant others on Facebook (which is so tactless) again and again and again, to where I think, "Then why stay with them if you're so unhappy?" I wish I had a set of balls to type my thoughts in the comment section, but it's really none of my business...or is it, if they're making it a public issue? No relationship or marriage is perfect. We have to love (even grudgingly) the idiosyncrasies and uniqueness of who we are with - who we chose to have as our life partners. If you complain about a certain issue on and on and on, then why not change how you see it? Obviously, if it hasn't changed then, it's certainly not going to change now or anytime soon. We all have options. #1. Leave. ...

This morning, I woke up to snow, once again. It was coming down fairly hard. I grabbed my phone to check Facebook, because I have a whole lotta' soccer moms posting about all of their school closings and delays -- this meaning to me, that my Mt. Kilimanjaro of a hill that I live on top of would soon imprison me once again. I grabbed my cup of coffee and headed into my studio to look at the snow, unwind and check my email before work. Everything under the sun tried to distract me, from phone calls that couldn't wait to my little dog just wanting to jump up and snuggle on me. I instantly just dropped everything and picked up my dog instead. I grabbed a blanket, covered her up as we watched the snow together. Soon enough, the sun started to shine even while it was snowing. I felt this incredible sense of peace -- as though this was the right choice -- just to drop everything and enjoy the present time. Besides, when would I ever get to see a "sun snow shower" again?  S...

On many occasions, I've heard that adapting to change is a sign of maturity, or perhaps becoming "wiser" in some aspects. The types of changes, such as a new job or a new relationship can seem exciting and fun, and for the most part it is. Changes such as moving from one home to a lesser home, divorce or even a death in the family are seen as the most stressful events in our lives. Those are huge changes. We have to adapt, or at least try. We have to learn to ride the storm out grudgingly. I call those the "downgrade changes". I remember when Madelene and I had to rent an apartment downtown. We had no backyard, old twisted up plumbing and a furnace older than the hills that kept spilling out carbon monoxide to which the utility company had to fine my landlord. That wasn't fun because the landlord used to get pissed off at me for reporting it. Well, it was either report it or die in my bed. Although there were a lot of frustrations with that place, there ...