Living Proof

A friend of mine found me on Facebook the other day. We were catching up from years gone by. We went to high school together and even worked together for quite some time, but we never hung out or called one another like buddies for some reason. Now, as adults, we find ourselves in similar situations and lifestyles. I had no clue she was gay, and she didn’t know I was either. We both dated guys way back when, so it never occurred that we were both playing for the same team. There was one thing she said while flipping through my virtual photo albums on Facebook. “You really look happy, Deb.” Isn’t it funny how we glare at photos, assuming somebody’s life is ‘this way’, when sometimes, it can actually be a whole different story behind those pixels. Even with celebrities, they show their best faces, smiling, posing for the camera showing you their best side. God forbid a camera should catch me in the midst of a PMSing moment. People would definitely ask, “I wonder if she’s ok? I wonder i...

This morning, the rain seems to be a lot heavier, with a bit more steam behind it. I can’t imagine just mere clouds in the sky having so much tears to shed; a constant flow of sadness and bleakness barreling down my roof and the streets below. In ways, it’s a beautiful, comforting sound, and in other ways it feels very dreadful and sad. On the other hand, the rain inspires me to write, however it also makes me think of things in the past, conjuring up thoughts that tug upon my heartstrings: a past love, a death of a close friend or feelings of inadequacies, etc. Sometimes it even churns my current situation and asks, “Are you truly happy?” Am I truly happy? What does that even mean? What does that mean to each and every individual? “Happiness”. The word alone sometimes makes me wonder if it’s all a facade; a mask that hides the hidden tears, just as umbrellas save us from the rain. We’re still “in the rain”, yet not getting the full effect, showing everyone around us that we’re okay ...